this is EXACTLY how i feel right at the moment. you took the words right out of my mouth.
well said.
But the answer on how to fix this is...you've got to express your feelings, you can't just bury your feelings inside of yourself and let others feelings invade you and take control of your life.
Don't let others talk you down, if they do confront them in a calm manner and tell them how you feel about it.
example...
I feel______ because__________.
We INFJ's seem to have a set amount of standards in our life that we live by and we almost expect others to live by them also...don't.
Don't expect others to be as loyal as you may be because most of the time they aren't, they don't hold loyalty and friendship as high as the usual INFJ might.
Do not expect anything in return for your kindness, at all, not one scrap, because this leads you to believe that if you give, they should give also, and this is not always the case.
There's also the fact that there are different ways people may interpret Love or Loyalty, so loyalty means one thing to one person.. And mean another thing to someone else. People like to be loved in different ways, and usually the way a person loves someone else is how that person wants to be loved so look for other's and the way they express their loyalty/friendship/love to you and copy them basically (well sort of) just figure out what way they like to be treated.
Don't EVER expect something in return for something kind you did...this is selfless love, this love can go on forever and ever without problems like this arising.
Forgiveness is also needed here, if you want to be happy with your friends you have to forgive them, they have their shortcomings to, they have their trials and problems they have to deal with and sometimes they make a mistake. so forgive them, no matter how many times it happens. I'm not saying make yourself a doormat, you can't stay around people that are rude and harmful to your emotions all the time, just stay away if you've already confronted them several times about the problems that they keep making, you have to be strong and plant yourself in your spot and say, "enough is enough" but you must realize this doesn't mean to be rude or be enemies with them. Be accepting but don't hang around them if they cause you problems all the time. You have a right to be happy and if that means to be friends with someone else then do so.
But do not give up on people, because people aren't perfect and they need all the forgiveness and love they can get. Do not give up on the amazing gift of friendship, first off because i know your strong and you won't give up, second in the long run you'll be much happier with yourself in the fact that you did stick to it, just don't give up.
You are in charge of yourself, and in charge of your emotions, you can let these feelings affect you negatively or positively.
If you need to release your anger do so in a constructive way (ride your bike, walk, draw, play an instrument) something that isn't destructive like backbiting words, fighting, and contention.
Then get over it.
Do not dwell on the emotion for to long.
I've noticed that to many INFJ's hang onto emotions or guilt and dwell on it.
This is not a good way to deal with a situation and you emotions, it only creates more negative emotions and even more stress.
so my advice is let out the emotions you need to ..with the fullest extent then it's done. No more, it's done.
Leave it in the past, and forget about it.
Even though it may seem very hard, almost impossible at the time, it's something that needs to be done if you want to live happily and with hope.
Then hope for a better day ahead of yourself. If there's no hope, life is dull and dark, people that are depressed have no hope. Hope is needed in this process so that you heal completely and are definitely over the problem that happened.
Hope. it will make things better.
If you think you've hoped for a long time and you say nothing good has come out of it...
you're wrong.
This is where the part of counting your blessings comes into play. Count your blessings you've gotten from hope. Think of all the blessings you have now, even if it's just the basics of Family, friends, life.
Don't worry. Be Happy
I've always found that writing on the computer or on paper about my feelings, or writing a story that can explain my situation in a figurative way...this has always helped, even if it's just a little.
I find that finding all the good qualities in myself always helps me feel better in the end, being positive is always the key.
And also, i've received much help with problems by praying to my God. Even when you feel alone, and like no one cares, God does. So i go to him with my problems and tell him about them and ask him to help me with my problems, i know i'm not alone and i have someone that loves me unconditionally and always there for me. So i advise you to pray and you will feel better, and receive the comfort you need.
I hope this situation with your friends will get better!
