No more Miss. Nice (beware ranty) | INFJ Forum

No more Miss. Nice (beware ranty)

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by poetrygirl, Mar 25, 2009.

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  1. poetrygirl

    poetrygirl Community Member

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    I'm so sick of being nice to everyone and getting treated like ****. It's honestly almost making me a mean person. I feel like I'm getting so sick of people. No one ever really understands me not even my best friend. I'm seriously considering to just stop talking to people at my school. To just go to school and do my work; with a book to keep me company. Some people who I thought were my friends are turning out to be real jerks and even before then I felt left out of their inner circle. I keep asking myself "what's wrong with me?" I made a list: I'm not ugly, I'm nice, I dress normal (for the most part) I'm smart and now I've pretty much lost all my trust in people. *huff* here goes a new chapter of poetry.... Did anyone else go through anything like this in school? :mpff:
     
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  2. Silently Honest

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    Yup, then I realized it wasn't me. Life fell into place after that.
     
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  3. the

    the Si master race.
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    Yeah I went through a time when I decided that I didn't like anyone anymore. In my case I was not able to participate in any regular socialization with school mates - a long story. So naturally everyone stopped inviting me places. Now (10 years later) they all want to be my facebook friend. Meh whatever. I have my own stuff going on now and am not really interested in their lives or being friends with them.
     
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  4. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    I couldn't stand the people in Highschool. It drove me insane and furious; so I stopped going. I spent the majority of my highschool years hanging out with my friends and going to places at all manners of times; night and day. When 18 came around I took my general education degree and went to college.

    Dropping out of highschool was one of my first core achievements in life. It was when I really started to notice that social norms isn't law nor all that important by any means.

    I understand what you're going through Poetrygirl and I can bet that many others here have felt the same; you're not alone.
     
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    #4 Naxx, Mar 25, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2009
  5. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    People are boring and overrated anyway. I have *lots* of friends and I'm spending the entire day sending every one of them "Screw Off" letters as we speak. I'm on email number 8 and Private Message number four.

    Maybe its Life's way of telling you you need some alone time to redefine yourself. Just drape yourself in your freak flag to keep yourself warm.

    Also don't do things and expect reciprocity. INFJ rookie move number 37. You will always give more of yourself quietly than people tend to notice. If you have emotional needs, scream them. Just because you can read minds (metaphorically) doesn't mean other people can. You'll always be sad waiting for people to respond the way you want them too.

    Life gets better after 18. Life gets even better after 25. If you're brave, that is. Whatever.... I give crap advice.
     
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  6. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    Are you my evil twin?

    This is exactly what happened with me. I dropped out, got my GED, took SAT/ACT and went strait to college. My high school was a joke, and worse: it was really bad on gang violence. There was always someone getting hit with a bat or the crap stomped out of them for being in another gang. They seriously had to stop the orchestra program in our school to transform the orchestra room into a command center for the security guards.

    American high school is just one big zoo. Why some colleges still insist on judging you by your high school performance I'll never understand.
     
  7. the

    the Si master race.
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    Why are you sending screw off emails? Just tell me if I am being too nosey.
     
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  8. Liv

    Liv Community Member

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    yup!irish schools arent much better...its not you just you dont worry,nothing would make me go back!hope youre alright!
     
  9. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    I'd say that last line is pretty solid advice. It's true life will get better... but only if you're brave.

    You will notice people all around in life, around your home, in this forum that whine and whine about what they wish. But most of them don't actually have much optimism for themselves and their future. If thats the case then "paradise" or "dreams" will never come to them.

    This type of bravery isn't the same as running into a battlefield with a sharp fork. This bravery is trusting yourself and the good of your future.

    There is no proof things will go your way, there are not true signs. It is a matter of faith and that my friend is not religion or theology; it's life.
     
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  10. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I've been through this many times haha and the phrase 'No more Miss. Nice girl' has been my goal so to say alot but all you can really do is accept that you are nice because if you try to stop beeing nice (at least for me) it will merely disturb your conscience severely. When you accept that you are a nice person then you can start to impose more realistic reasoning to it and develope =) Believe me you gain so much by being nice and it does not mean that you have to take shit.
     
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  11. slant

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    This quarter I'm getting into Virtual Highschool and am quitting school all together. I hate people my own age; the simplistic views of things make me unable to work in school. So I'm planning on the next few years to become a hermit and not talk to anyone...I really can't even stand my family. Once I turn eighteen I'll move to some other state, get a job, save up money and go to college. For right now, I spend my time ignoring people's phone calls and deleting friends off the Myspace page one by one by one.
     
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  12. mayflow

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    Yes, just stay nice. You cannot control what other people are going to be like, only your own behaviours. Like Shakey (Shakespeare) said "To thine own self be true"
     
  13. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    I agree with Mayflow, don't compromise who you are because of spite.

    Stay on the side of creation and life, destruction leads to little progress. Although destruction is euphoric at times, it’s not part of your true intentions.
     
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  14. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Yeah, I'm sick of people and don't get anything out of it when I try to be nice to them. Except that's what makes me different to most people - I care. So despite not wanting any friends, I'll keep being nice to people and keep letting people into my life (calling themselves my friends, even if I wouldn't call them friends) - because that's who/what I am - INFJ.
     
  15. corvidae

    corvidae ohai internets
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    I wanted to drop out of school at age 16. My parents didn't let me, which is probably a good thing. I wouldn't have gotten a big scholarship for college if I had a GED.

    High school sucks sometimes, but it still offers a lot in terms of education, and not just classes.

    Ignore the drama, but don't create animosity where it's not needed. I think you'll survive =)
     
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  16. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    That's pretty funny because one of the last things I shouted in the lunch room was "high school is worthless if you don't get a scholarship anyways and most of you won't". Wow hateful there.. yes indeed angst up the ass.
     
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    #16 Naxx, Mar 26, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  17. Bored Now

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    *blows kiss*

    Too nosy. You do realize I'm the queen of TMI, right? I think over sharing is funny as hell. It gets people out of their comfort zones. I'm sure I'm alone in this...hmmm.

    Anywho, Mah boobs are sore, metaphorically. I’ve been this huge teat of comfort and awesomeness to everyone in my life lately. The MILK’S GONE BAD, SON. Nothing is holding my interest and my thoughts are scattered. . I need to do the hermit thing for a month just to finish up what I'm doing. I don’t know, people like my company a lot and I never know how to say no in any reasonable way so I just bail and come back later. I do this from time to time.


    I got word today I can go here http://www.watmetta.org/ for two weeks. I’ve been before and it was kind of life changing. Just the solitude and simplicity really helped to put things in perspective. Plus its gorgeous and the weather’s good now. Maybe humping a few trees will help. (Remembers Random scene from Evil Dead Two..) Ouch. Maybe not. I just always think of random ass things to do and tell everyone I'm doing them so I don't chicken out....it makes life interesting...
     
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  18. firehotemily

    firehotemily Community Member

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    this is EXACTLY how i feel right at the moment. you took the words right out of my mouth.
    well said.
     
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  19. firehotemily

    firehotemily Community Member

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    this is EXACTLY how i feel right at the moment. you took the words right out of my mouth.
    well said.

    But the answer on how to fix this is...you've got to express your feelings, you can't just bury your feelings inside of yourself and let others feelings invade you and take control of your life.
    Don't let others talk you down, if they do confront them in a calm manner and tell them how you feel about it.
    example...

    I feel______ because__________.

    We INFJ's seem to have a set amount of standards in our life that we live by and we almost expect others to live by them also...don't.
    Don't expect others to be as loyal as you may be because most of the time they aren't, they don't hold loyalty and friendship as high as the usual INFJ might.
    Do not expect anything in return for your kindness, at all, not one scrap, because this leads you to believe that if you give, they should give also, and this is not always the case.
    There's also the fact that there are different ways people may interpret Love or Loyalty, so loyalty means one thing to one person.. And mean another thing to someone else. People like to be loved in different ways, and usually the way a person loves someone else is how that person wants to be loved so look for other's and the way they express their loyalty/friendship/love to you and copy them basically (well sort of) just figure out what way they like to be treated.
    Don't EVER expect something in return for something kind you did...this is selfless love, this love can go on forever and ever without problems like this arising.
    Forgiveness is also needed here, if you want to be happy with your friends you have to forgive them, they have their shortcomings to, they have their trials and problems they have to deal with and sometimes they make a mistake. so forgive them, no matter how many times it happens. I'm not saying make yourself a doormat, you can't stay around people that are rude and harmful to your emotions all the time, just stay away if you've already confronted them several times about the problems that they keep making, you have to be strong and plant yourself in your spot and say, "enough is enough" but you must realize this doesn't mean to be rude or be enemies with them. Be accepting but don't hang around them if they cause you problems all the time. You have a right to be happy and if that means to be friends with someone else then do so.
    But do not give up on people, because people aren't perfect and they need all the forgiveness and love they can get. Do not give up on the amazing gift of friendship, first off because i know your strong and you won't give up, second in the long run you'll be much happier with yourself in the fact that you did stick to it, just don't give up.
    You are in charge of yourself, and in charge of your emotions, you can let these feelings affect you negatively or positively.
    If you need to release your anger do so in a constructive way (ride your bike, walk, draw, play an instrument) something that isn't destructive like backbiting words, fighting, and contention.
    Then get over it.
    Do not dwell on the emotion for to long.
    I've noticed that to many INFJ's hang onto emotions or guilt and dwell on it.
    This is not a good way to deal with a situation and you emotions, it only creates more negative emotions and even more stress.
    so my advice is let out the emotions you need to ..with the fullest extent then it's done. No more, it's done.
    Leave it in the past, and forget about it.
    Even though it may seem very hard, almost impossible at the time, it's something that needs to be done if you want to live happily and with hope.
    Then hope for a better day ahead of yourself. If there's no hope, life is dull and dark, people that are depressed have no hope. Hope is needed in this process so that you heal completely and are definitely over the problem that happened.
    Hope. it will make things better.
    If you think you've hoped for a long time and you say nothing good has come out of it...
    you're wrong.
    This is where the part of counting your blessings comes into play. Count your blessings you've gotten from hope. Think of all the blessings you have now, even if it's just the basics of Family, friends, life.
    Don't worry. Be Happy
    I've always found that writing on the computer or on paper about my feelings, or writing a story that can explain my situation in a figurative way...this has always helped, even if it's just a little.
    I find that finding all the good qualities in myself always helps me feel better in the end, being positive is always the key.
    And also, i've received much help with problems by praying to my God. Even when you feel alone, and like no one cares, God does. So i go to him with my problems and tell him about them and ask him to help me with my problems, i know i'm not alone and i have someone that loves me unconditionally and always there for me. So i advise you to pray and you will feel better, and receive the comfort you need.
    I hope this situation with your friends will get better!
     
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  20. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Hey I am A GED winner to.

    *High fives* wooo hooo partay


    :m169:
     
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