"Nice girl" personality or stereotype | INFJ Forum

"Nice girl" personality or stereotype

Gaze

Gaze

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The guys have their "nice guy" label which is sometimes an obstacle to being taken seriously as a romantic partner in a relationship. They are sometimes pushed to the side for the "bad guy" because of it. But girls are sometimes victims of the "nice girl" stereotype as well.

Some use the "nice girl" persona to rule out women who they say are too nice to date. The assumption is they're not as fun or exciting or that they're a bit boring. They are seen as too soft or easy to manipulate, not assertive enough, or not aggressive enough, or not as much fun.

So, nice girls are also overlooked and friend-soned because they are seen as not exciting enough or appealing as the "bad girl".


What do you think :)
 
For some reason I was bored the other day and saw that show Everyone Hates Chris, and there was a girl considered really geeky and weird-looking who liked the protagonist. Then people saw her kissing him and he got humiliated, which pissed her off, so she styled her hair and became a hot model and moved to a different country in front of him and everyone.
 
Ive never heard of this, or experienced it.


The only explanation I can think of is that nice girls wont put out.
 
true, the reason nice girls don't get the boy (notice the vocabulary I'm using) is commonly that those nice girls are boring, mostly in bed if not in life too.

They tend to be bad girlfriend material, but good wife and mother material. :|
A victim of misplaced thoughts, really. It's often different to nice guys who's a victim of gender prejudice, and especially Nice Guys, whom are sinister personalities in sheeps clothing.
 
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Carrie said:
Some use the "nice girl" persona to rule out women who they say are too nice to date. The assumption is they're not as fun or exciting or that they're a bit boring. They are seen as too soft or easy to manipulate, not assertive enough, or not aggressive enough, or not as much fun.

So, nice girls are also overlooked and friend-soned because they are seen as not exciting enough or appealing as the "bad girl".

What do you think :)
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I think this is true. Also, a lot of the times a a guy won't date a nice girl because she can't be thought of in that way... People may perceive her as too innocent. Which is not a bad thing, I guess, except for the no dates part. T.T
 
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i have a theory that "bad boys" is an excuse nice guys make to demonise men who are assertive, respectful, ambitious, motivated, and able to move on appropriately from rejection. because you know in reality it's not like most women are irresistibly drawn to men who are bad, wicked, drug using, smoking, alcoholic, misogynistic, whatever.
 
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invisible said:
i have a theory that "bad boys" is an excuse nice guys make to demonise men who are assertive, respectful, ambitious, motivated, and able to move on appropriately from rejection. because you know in reality it's not like most women are irresistibly drawn to men who are bad, wicked, drug using, smoking, alcoholic, misogynistic, whatever.
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^ this.

i specifically look for nice guys to date. but that doesn't mean these "nice guys" don't also have to have the positive qualities mentioned above. i think that it's mostly only nice guys who don't have these qualities that are used to getting the short end of the stick that whine about women liking bad guys all the time.
 
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invisible said:
because you know in reality it's not like most women are irresistibly drawn to men who are bad, wicked, drug using, smoking, alcoholic, misogynistic, whatever.
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Shit! I picked up all these things trying to get the women.
 
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I always assumed girls were friend-zoned primarily on looks.

I actually prefer the nice girls. I tend to not look for casual relationships, so much as longer-term. Bad girls aren't really what I go for, as a result. Both have their pros and cons: if I'm ever looking to hook up, to get my hormones and adrenaline going, then I'll look for a bad girl. If I want to really get to know someone on a deeper level, and have someone I can be happy with for a long time, I will go for a nice girl.

All the adrenaline stuff doesn't really appeal to me anymore. And it only ever did just a little. Nice girls for me :)
 
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invisible said:
i have a theory that "bad boys" is an excuse nice guys make to demonise men who are assertive, respectful, ambitious, motivated, and able to move on appropriately from rejection. because you know in reality it's not like most women are irresistibly drawn to men who are bad, wicked, drug using, smoking, alcoholic, misogynistic, whatever.
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Well, we would need to define "nice guy" before we got into this.
Maybe not most women, but definitely most women who already belong to those circles. It's all relative.
 
How would you describe a "nice girl"?

My assumption is "shy, never objects to anything, insecure in her looks, never swears, afraid of references to looking sexy or having sex, always waits for the man to show initiative, ultra caring for her family, friends and the cat". In other words no fun :(
 
Tamagochi said:
How would you describe a "nice girl"?

My assumption is "shy, never objects to anything, insecure in her looks, never swears, afraid of references to looking sexy or having sex, always waits for the man to show initiative, ultra caring for her family, friends and the cat". In other words no fun :(
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Lol. "nice" <--> "bad" seems to be a spectrum. The end you're describing would be "complete squaretastic prude". At the opposite end would be extreme body-exposed party girl who throws empty beer cans at elderly people. There are plenty in between.
 
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I think it's fine. It's normal that most people will be repulsed by your genuine personality because most pairs of people are simply not compatible. So you may be 'out of love' for longer but at least you're not stuck in an unfulfilling relationship and feel like cheating all the time.
 
+1 to both [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] and [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION], really. It's a sad attempt of generalization, but the generalization itself also has some basis behind it, whether jealousy or truth.
 
i think the show community really sums up the fate of a nice girl vs an abrasive girl between the characters of Annie (bubbly, always laughing, but sexually conservative, and boring) and Britta (opinionated, abrasive, sexually experienced, and exciting). While on the show Britta is the love interest, if you go online you will see that more guys actually wanna bang Annie because of how submissive and friendly she is, her niceness really works towards her being more of a naive tease. @Hoggle is right, the only down side to a nice girl may be that she won't put out.

taken from an evolutionary perspective (i think) bad guys are liked by girls because their aggressive behaviour towards others seems like it would protect the girl and her future children if only the girl could be the one person in the whole entire world that the bad guy wasnt bad to.

so i think a bad girl is different to a guy than a bad guy is to a girl.
 
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