"Nice girl" personality or stereotype
- Thread starter Gaze
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It appears that I'm always either a nice guy or I'm a jerk, and in either case it is a losing situation.
I have never heard of a nice girl stereotype. I've only ever heard guys complain about girls who wouldn't put out (either sexually or otherwise). They do complain about girls not being exciting enough, and they usually aren't dumb enough to say that sex would automatically make things exciting enough; however, it is implied that sex would make things exciting enough for them.
I have never heard of a nice girl stereotype. I've only ever heard guys complain about girls who wouldn't put out (either sexually or otherwise). They do complain about girls not being exciting enough, and they usually aren't dumb enough to say that sex would automatically make things exciting enough; however, it is implied that sex would make things exciting enough for them.
The biggest issue I see with treatment of nice girls is that many see them as a challenge. The typical scenario "If I act like the nice guy and slowly gain her trust, maybe I can get to see the wild woman inside"
. They see her as innocent and want to see how they can relieve her of this innocence. They feel it's their job to corrupt her and rob her of this niceness. *facedesk*
. They see her as innocent and want to see how they can relieve her of this innocence. They feel it's their job to corrupt her and rob her of this niceness. *facedesk*I hate labels too. There are too many variables with a generality of being "nice." I will admit I'm a nice girl. I've never been a girl men sought out for an easy screw. Rightfully so, I was never that kind of girl. In all of my relationships the men talked about marriage ... not me, but that is also because I looked for "nice guys" to date. Prude and inexperienced? No. Modest and private? Yes.
I'm kind of confused about the "nice girl" stereotype...what does the idea of a nice girl stand for in your opinion? Is it just about treating your boyfriend well or more about being generally nice to everyone? Or something else?
I think "nice girls" can exhibit a lack of self respect if they are people-pleasers. I've had to learn to stand up for myself around men and not be so kind and giving in my initial interactions with them or else they seem to lose interest. If you're available at the drop of a hat to hang out with a man any time he wants, and you don't care what sort of date he has planned because you're so excited to spend time with him, you're encouraging lazy relationship behavior. What guy wants to be with a girl who will bend over backwards to please him and not stand up to him? It shows you don't value yourself and your own time if you're too "nice." It's funny 'cause when I started developing more of an edge with men - not being afraid to say no, not being so agreeable and gentle, not responding to text messages immediately, being a little sarcastic - I had no problem with guys pursuing me. A book called Why Men Love Bitches helped me to develop more of a backbone around guys, which is apparently attractive even if they don't like the idea of a girl being more assertive and demanding.
Okay, I'm going to weigh in on the whole 'bad girl' thing because I think you're oversimplifying.
I can't comment on stalking behaviour, but I have been pursued in such a way (by a guy) and yeah it's creepy. He was also a really 'nice guy'. So I don't think that's necessarily part of it.
Sorry, no, I think the nice girls have their share of problems in this category.
you think a girl who has trouble saying 'no' is going to suddenly learn to stand up for ... whatever, fine.
Yeah. >.> This is more of an 'emotional trigger' thing than a 'bad girl' thing. Guys do the same, in their own way. If you're not willing to learn what is/isn't an emotional trigger for your SO, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship with them. Granted, some people get triggered by some really hard-to-avoid things, so you might be better off with someone else in that case, but learning to respect boundaries so that they don't get like this is part of being a good boyfriend or girlfriend.
I can't comment on stalking behaviour, but I have been pursued in such a way (by a guy) and yeah it's creepy. He was also a really 'nice guy'. So I don't think that's necessarily part of it.
Ehm... this is just as commonly a nice girl problem as well. Being a doormat doesn't bode well for your constitution.
Okay, this one I grant you.
This one is not correlated to 'niceness' either, except that the nice girl will have had fewer boyfriends, but we will have had the same level of experience so our judgement isn't likely to be that much better?
This one is valid too.
As opposed to the history of emotional (and possibly sexual/physical) abuse that characterizes people who are excessively accommodating and is much harder to stamp out by getting the police involved?
Sorry, no, I think the nice girls have their share of problems in this category.
you think a girl who has trouble saying 'no' is going to suddenly learn to stand up for ... whatever, fine.Nice girls are just better at hiding it
Ok, granted, but only because a nice girl is more likely to be checking her purchases with you, and more used to being self-sufficient.
A nice girl is just less likely to burden you with the fact; self-esteem is just a miserable thing to deal with no matter who you are.
Definitely granted... although why that makes a relationship criterion I'm not sure...
How about "knows how to make her boyfriend use a condom"? :/ Anyway, I don't see how this affects you, the guy.
Maybe. I don't know about this one.
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Okay, I'm going to weigh in on the whole 'bad girl' thing because I think you're oversimplifying.
Yeah. >.> This is more of an 'emotional trigger' thing than a 'bad girl' thing. Guys do the same, in their own way. If you're not willing to learn what is/isn't an emotional trigger for your SO, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship with them. Granted, some people get triggered by some really hard-to-avoid things, so you might be better off with someone else in that case, but learning to respect boundaries so that they don't get like this is part of being a good boyfriend or girlfriend.
I can't comment on stalking behaviour, but I have been pursued in such a way (by a guy) and yeah it's creepy. He was also a really 'nice guy'. So I don't think that's necessarily part of it.
Ehm... this is just as commonly a nice girl problem as well. Being a doormat doesn't bode well for your constitution.
Okay, this one I grant you.
This one is not correlated to 'niceness' either, except that the nice girl will have had fewer boyfriends, but she will have had the same level of experience so her judgement isn't likely to be that much better?
This one is valid too.
As opposed to the history of emotional (and possibly sexual/physical) abuse that characterizes people who are excessively accommodating and is much harder to stamp out by getting the police involved?
Sorry, no, I think the nice girls have their share of problems in this category.
Nice girls are just better at hiding it
Ok, granted, but only because a nice girl is more likely to be checking her purchases with you, and more used to being self-sufficient.
A nice girl is just less likely to burden you with the fact; self-esteem is just a miserable thing to deal with no matter who you are.
Definitely granted... although why that makes a relationship criterion I'm not sure...
How about "knows how to make her boyfriend use a condom"? :/ Anyway, I don't see how this affects you, the guy.
Maybe. I don't know about this one.
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