Does it make sense to anyone here.
Hey guys.
So, I've always had trouble typing myself, literally nothing fits me. I thought I found it in ENFP, but now I'm thinking its more ISTJ. Specifically, because I related definitely to ISTJs under stress. Due to factors I'm not comfortable sharing here, I've been under severe amounts of stress since about the age of 10. And when I read not only on this forum, but others the part of "ISTJs being in stress" sounds exactly like myself.
Also, I thought I was an ENFP, but I think I've been guilted into thinking ISTJs are bad, and that ENFPs are good. I also got into fights non stop with my ISTJ brother when I was a kid. Like, nonstop. So I figured that meant we had to be opposites, but maybe we were just ISTJs trying to control each other?
I will attempt to dissect why I think I am each MBTI trait.
Introvertedness: I get very tired around people after a little bit. I need to be myself a lot of the time, and I love to just speculate and think when I'm by myself. I always find this one, along with Extrovertedness to be hard to define.
Extrovertedness: Definitely hard to describe. I've only always tested Introverted except for twice. Once in the signature test that I took two days ago (under stress to be honest), and then once when I took a cognitive functions test. both times ENFP. Besides that I've never gotten ENFP, and in fact I tend to get ISFJ, and INFJ a lot when I take the tests. I say I'm an extrovert because I heard that extroverts need a lot of stimulation, while Introverts don't. And that is pretty much true to the most of me. Also, I do need fresh experiences, I get weary in a sense of doing the same thing over and over. Sometimes. Sometimes I feel the need for companionship, so I compulsively text anyone and everyone I can to hang out, and I do this people spree where i'm not by myself. Then I crash and am a hermit to everyone. And on a side note, (though it may be an important side note) I have to be liked. I can't stand it when people hate me, unless I hate them first. And if I hate them first, I am ruthless in my words, and couldn't care less the vitriol they speak.
Sensing: I have the potential to be very detail oriented, however when I am under stress I see NO details. A good example of this occurred today: I work at an answering service, I am one of the better people so I answer for various prestigious colleges, along with over 100 bed and breakfasts. Today, I got a call today for a bed and breakfast in the Northwest. The caller was extremely aggravating, asking (in my opinion) completely asinine and retarded questions. Like "is the spa water colored any particular way?" Which, being that I am like a thousand miles away... I have no freaking idea. Why ask me. Anyways, he keeps on pestering me and pestering me the entire call, and I become a nervous wreck. (These are expensive accounts.) Compile onto that the fact I had my internet access taken away from me for internet surfing on company time *whistles innocently* and I was lost. I book their room, say good night and then realize after they hang up (26 minute phone call) that I booked them for the wrong room, on the wrong night, for the wrong damn package. I can't think under pressure at all, and I get extremely compulsive and just "AHHHH THERE I HIT THE BUTTON NOW STOP PRESSURING ME" kind of mood. I'm probably going to hear about it from my boss tomorrow.
Sorry for the anecdote. Anyways... There tends to be the stereotype that Sensors (is it sensors or sensates?) are very down to earth, practical, serious and never up in the air like intuits. And that is why I've always considered myself to be an N, is because I've always been in my own world. (I have two car accidents to count for that ...
) But at the same time I've always been very aware of my senses, and very aware of the world around me. I do have an issue with driving, because I can't keep track of the car in front of me, and the car around me. I have to do one or the other, not both. I also don't really care about art (visually) but I am extremely drawn to music, other types of art. Lastly, I do tend to base my actions on past experience, they are more easily verified. I just, how do you know if your gut feeling is correct? What if it is your bias and prejudice poking through? Should that affect your decisions? Umm, I think that's it.
Intuition: The trait that people will kill over. I have always thought myself to be an iNtuit, after all, they are more rare than Sensors.D) But I've come to realize over the past few weeks I'm not an iNtuit at heart. The people I admire are iNtuits, and so I've strived nonstop to become like them, and find patterns etc. everywhere I can. But to be frank, I am pretty bad at it. My intuition is non existant, so I create more and more fake times I tell everyone of when my intuition was correct. My Ne is pretty damn awful, almost everytime my intuition tells me something about someone it's dead wrong. I've gotten to the point where I literally just go the opposite of what my intuition says. And this is one of the points where I get so damn confused. Its like, I completely see the merit of being abstract and in the future, but I prefer to be in the here. It's practical. But I still want to be in the abstract. Does that make sense to anyone?
Feeling: Ok, I was going to say NO WAIT THIS IS THE HARD ONE TO FIGURE OUT. But I've conceded that the entire thing is hard to figure out. I have ALWAYS thought that I was a feeler. Unlike other ISTJs (presuming I am an ISTJ) I do tend to show more emotion. But it's not purposeful, it just comes out. And I dislike it EXTREMELY whenever I show emotion. (This may come as a shocker to anyone who knows me). I thought I was a feeler because I can't stand it when people show disaproval to me, and call me names that I take to heart. however, I have decided that what it actually is, is I think that people don't approve of how I act, and I try desperately to act a certain way. And I get frustrated and angry when I don't know what people want. So if someone says "hey stupid" I get offended not because I'm stupid, I am quite aware that I am not. However, I get angry which turns into being offended because I'm not sure how to show I am not stupid. I don't know how I can prove myself. And I get extremely angry when I don't know what people want from me, and how to prove myself. I can tel on the MBTI tests the F questions are the "how do you observe conflict." and that's where I'm drawn at. I find conflict necessary in many a spot, and I will disregard feelings and will go conflict if need be. But if.. Eh.. Not always.
Thinking: Ok, picking up where we left off: I honestly don't understand feelings. I don't understand why people give them off, and why people need them. And worst of all, I don't know why I need them. And it drives me crazy. I don't know why I need approval, it makes no sense why someone elses opinion should matter to me. BUT IT DOES. And when I am critical of others, I am harsh. While I do believe in tact, I believe it is needed much less than it is used. I believe the truth to be supreme, and reign over all feelings. Conversely, if I can spread that truth without stepping on toes I will. But only briefly. I also have a habit of being extremely cynical and sarcastic, which is a trait of ST's I believe? Another confusing part is, I will tend to completely disregard logic if doesn't square with me. For example: God. I am a Christian, and even though logically God cannot be proven, I don't care. I just push aside all the stuff against him, and remain steadfast. Is that just plain old defiance? Or an F over T preference.
Judging: I really need to wrap this up, I am tired. Hehe. I need closure, but I am also scared of it. I am punctual for all my places, and I hate hate hate being late. But I can't stand being put on a schedule of someone else at the same time. Like, I got the perfect attendance bonus at my job for never being late for once, but I can't stand having to come in at a certain time. I find it stupid. And while I'm aware this is more Fi than a judging part, I tend to past judgement very very quickly... Yes. I do. A perfect example of needing closure is the fact that I have to be a friggin MBTI type. I have gone in this cycle isfj -> isfp -> istj -> isfj -> infj -> infp -> infj -> enfp -> XXXX. My ISTJ brother says "who cares what type you are. It doesn't even matter." My ENFP sister says "well why do you have to be a certain type? I'll still love you." And that's why I get lost. Heh. I NEED TO BE ONE SO I CAN KNOW WHAT I AM. My identity is very important to me. (Which is an ENFP trait).
Perceiving: And at the same time, I am afraid of closure. If a decision has been made, there is no going back. what if it was a bad decision? I am stuck with it, and I have to ride it out for the worst of it. That being said I have very hard time making decisions, especially if people are counting on me. I become frantic. While my ENFP sister keeps her cool.... Hmmm... Anyways, I have heard P's are excellent multitaskers. I am an absolute horrible multitasker. I'm also not that organized, I'm always looking for my keys etc. When I look back at my last college semester, I was never late for a single class, save for Computer. But thats because I had kickboxing from 630 am to 820, and computer was at 9. (And I had to drive home and shower). But I would prefer to keep to my own schedule, not someone elses. Is that inherently P? Or J? Is any schedule a J thing? *sigh* I also starting new projects occasionally, but I don't know. I think I enjoy the thrill of going against the norm for me. I derive great satisfaction from closing up stuff, but at the same time I am always looking for something new. I think this it... For the time.
In general, why I fit:
ISTJ: When my sister went to Wisconsin last month, I stayed up all night to make sure she got to the Airport on time. It would break my heart (Feeling?) if she was late. So I made sure she was already and I drove her there at 430am. She said "go figures, my NF brother *she's an MBTI freak like me* would make sure I got here on time." But if an ISTJ is a duty fulfiller,wouldn't that make sense as well? And thats what really fits me on spot on about ISTJ. Dependability. I am very dependable, its what makes me who I am. I have a 760 Credit score, (I just got my first ever credit act back in Feb, so I don't think it's too shabby) and it's going up all the time. I've never missed a single bill, and I couldn't bear it if I did. I'm very proprietary, everything should happen, and that is the way its going to happen. When things don't go according to plan I fall apart. I can be very cynical, sarcastic, and tactless when I feel it is important. On the other forum, I sensed a user was having a ridiculous pity party, and I let loose on her. I find it utterly ridiculous and almost vulgar (in the sense you take advantage of others goodwill) to host pity parties. I also have an extreme habit of being close minded. I do not care about anyway but my way. However, I am still the kind of person who is open to different ways of living, if that makes sense. Like I don't tell people I'm a Christian, quasi Conservative, who dislikes Obama, because I fear they will think I'm a bigot. I'm clearly not, and infact I wish my family wasn't so close minded to different ways of life. That's the clincher, I am close minded to events, but open minded to people. I can't stand being controlled by other people (ENFP) however, I love and take pleasure in controlling other people. But I don't know if that is simply because I'm immature, or an STJ. I also read ISTJs love and value honest people, and tend to be honest themselves. This is definitely me as a younger child, but I've become increasingly deceiving, so much to the point of I don't see the point in telling the truth anymore.
ENFP: So, the ENFP, antithesis of the ISTJ essentially. The main thing that struck me as "OMG IM ENFP" was two things. One: The gift of gab. I have an extremely hard time expressing my thoughts, and emotions. So much so, that as a teenager I would create fake events/feelings/emotions as a metaphor in a sense to express what I really felt. I have a deeply strong belief somethings shouldn't be told. But at the same time, when I do open up, I am able to make amazing connections with people, and charm them quite easily. At my answering service, all my bosses have told me I am amazing in that I create a connection with each caller, and I can calm down the angriest one. I have shot up from peon when I started to the upper echelons. However, I do it cringingly. I DO NOT CARE that you pipe is flooding. I do not care that you have a rash on your cervix, I do not care that the painter never showed. It's your fault for not doing what you were supposed to do, stop trying to push your blame on other people. Thats what goes on in my head "oh you idiot caller, I can't believe you were stupid enough to pay a tax business to lower your taxes. That's not physically possible." But I'm saying "Oh wow, ok mr. Rogers I will definitely make sure they get that message right away. I'll mark it urgent. Is there anything I can do for you today? Ok, well I hope you have a great day, enjoy your Christmas." And like that, voila I have calmed down a caller who came onto the line screaming at me, to a guy who even legitimately said thank you when he hung up. And that's that for the gift of gab speech. the other part that intrigued me, was the ENFPs need to make me people grow. That's what I love to do. As much as I hate feelings, I love people. Nothing warms my heart more than a "Thank you so much, because of you I got out of this hurtful relationship and now make 216 billion a year and I own a pomeranian." You get the deal. I love bettering other peoples situations, and am quite humanitarian. When I was a kid there were two careers I would kill to be. A police officer, and a missionary. (talk about conflicting). I am an ENFP in that I am always day dreaming, thinking about the life I am going to lead. While I love to be in the here and now (ISTJ) I also know you should know what to expect when it comes down the road. ENFPs are known as the social scientists, which I would definitely concur that I am. I love typing people (even though I am pretty God awful at it) and I love behavior analyzing, why people do what they do. A particular favorite of mine is to watch serial killer shows (watching Dexter at the moment) and figure out what makes a serial killer kill. Which is N... Isn't it? Sigh. I also talk nonstop, its impossible to shut me up. But I think I talk because the unknown scares me (which it doesn't scare my ENFP sister) so if I talk the unknown will be known. But it's compulsive, I don't enjoy talking.
I know I kinda ended that ENFP part abruptly but... I would ramble for hours. And I tend to ramble, I don't know ISTJs to ramble.
Bah. Thank you so much for reading this, I greatly appreciate it. I will pay for eye surgery for anyone's eyes who conked out from reading this.
If this makes sense to anyone, let me know. I will mail you a tootsie pop in the mail first class shipping.
Hey guys.
So, I've always had trouble typing myself, literally nothing fits me. I thought I found it in ENFP, but now I'm thinking its more ISTJ. Specifically, because I related definitely to ISTJs under stress. Due to factors I'm not comfortable sharing here, I've been under severe amounts of stress since about the age of 10. And when I read not only on this forum, but others the part of "ISTJs being in stress" sounds exactly like myself.
Also, I thought I was an ENFP, but I think I've been guilted into thinking ISTJs are bad, and that ENFPs are good. I also got into fights non stop with my ISTJ brother when I was a kid. Like, nonstop. So I figured that meant we had to be opposites, but maybe we were just ISTJs trying to control each other?
I will attempt to dissect why I think I am each MBTI trait.
Introvertedness: I get very tired around people after a little bit. I need to be myself a lot of the time, and I love to just speculate and think when I'm by myself. I always find this one, along with Extrovertedness to be hard to define.
Extrovertedness: Definitely hard to describe. I've only always tested Introverted except for twice. Once in the signature test that I took two days ago (under stress to be honest), and then once when I took a cognitive functions test. both times ENFP. Besides that I've never gotten ENFP, and in fact I tend to get ISFJ, and INFJ a lot when I take the tests. I say I'm an extrovert because I heard that extroverts need a lot of stimulation, while Introverts don't. And that is pretty much true to the most of me. Also, I do need fresh experiences, I get weary in a sense of doing the same thing over and over. Sometimes. Sometimes I feel the need for companionship, so I compulsively text anyone and everyone I can to hang out, and I do this people spree where i'm not by myself. Then I crash and am a hermit to everyone. And on a side note, (though it may be an important side note) I have to be liked. I can't stand it when people hate me, unless I hate them first. And if I hate them first, I am ruthless in my words, and couldn't care less the vitriol they speak.
Sensing: I have the potential to be very detail oriented, however when I am under stress I see NO details. A good example of this occurred today: I work at an answering service, I am one of the better people so I answer for various prestigious colleges, along with over 100 bed and breakfasts. Today, I got a call today for a bed and breakfast in the Northwest. The caller was extremely aggravating, asking (in my opinion) completely asinine and retarded questions. Like "is the spa water colored any particular way?" Which, being that I am like a thousand miles away... I have no freaking idea. Why ask me. Anyways, he keeps on pestering me and pestering me the entire call, and I become a nervous wreck. (These are expensive accounts.) Compile onto that the fact I had my internet access taken away from me for internet surfing on company time *whistles innocently* and I was lost. I book their room, say good night and then realize after they hang up (26 minute phone call) that I booked them for the wrong room, on the wrong night, for the wrong damn package. I can't think under pressure at all, and I get extremely compulsive and just "AHHHH THERE I HIT THE BUTTON NOW STOP PRESSURING ME" kind of mood. I'm probably going to hear about it from my boss tomorrow.
Sorry for the anecdote. Anyways... There tends to be the stereotype that Sensors (is it sensors or sensates?) are very down to earth, practical, serious and never up in the air like intuits. And that is why I've always considered myself to be an N, is because I've always been in my own world. (I have two car accidents to count for that ...
) But at the same time I've always been very aware of my senses, and very aware of the world around me. I do have an issue with driving, because I can't keep track of the car in front of me, and the car around me. I have to do one or the other, not both. I also don't really care about art (visually) but I am extremely drawn to music, other types of art. Lastly, I do tend to base my actions on past experience, they are more easily verified. I just, how do you know if your gut feeling is correct? What if it is your bias and prejudice poking through? Should that affect your decisions? Umm, I think that's it. Intuition: The trait that people will kill over. I have always thought myself to be an iNtuit, after all, they are more rare than Sensors.
D) But I've come to realize over the past few weeks I'm not an iNtuit at heart. The people I admire are iNtuits, and so I've strived nonstop to become like them, and find patterns etc. everywhere I can. But to be frank, I am pretty bad at it. My intuition is non existant, so I create more and more fake times I tell everyone of when my intuition was correct. My Ne is pretty damn awful, almost everytime my intuition tells me something about someone it's dead wrong. I've gotten to the point where I literally just go the opposite of what my intuition says. And this is one of the points where I get so damn confused. Its like, I completely see the merit of being abstract and in the future, but I prefer to be in the here. It's practical. But I still want to be in the abstract. Does that make sense to anyone? Feeling: Ok, I was going to say NO WAIT THIS IS THE HARD ONE TO FIGURE OUT. But I've conceded that the entire thing is hard to figure out. I have ALWAYS thought that I was a feeler. Unlike other ISTJs (presuming I am an ISTJ) I do tend to show more emotion. But it's not purposeful, it just comes out. And I dislike it EXTREMELY whenever I show emotion. (This may come as a shocker to anyone who knows me). I thought I was a feeler because I can't stand it when people show disaproval to me, and call me names that I take to heart. however, I have decided that what it actually is, is I think that people don't approve of how I act, and I try desperately to act a certain way. And I get frustrated and angry when I don't know what people want. So if someone says "hey stupid" I get offended not because I'm stupid, I am quite aware that I am not. However, I get angry which turns into being offended because I'm not sure how to show I am not stupid. I don't know how I can prove myself. And I get extremely angry when I don't know what people want from me, and how to prove myself. I can tel on the MBTI tests the F questions are the "how do you observe conflict." and that's where I'm drawn at. I find conflict necessary in many a spot, and I will disregard feelings and will go conflict if need be. But if.. Eh.. Not always.
Thinking: Ok, picking up where we left off: I honestly don't understand feelings. I don't understand why people give them off, and why people need them. And worst of all, I don't know why I need them. And it drives me crazy. I don't know why I need approval, it makes no sense why someone elses opinion should matter to me. BUT IT DOES. And when I am critical of others, I am harsh. While I do believe in tact, I believe it is needed much less than it is used. I believe the truth to be supreme, and reign over all feelings. Conversely, if I can spread that truth without stepping on toes I will. But only briefly. I also have a habit of being extremely cynical and sarcastic, which is a trait of ST's I believe? Another confusing part is, I will tend to completely disregard logic if doesn't square with me. For example: God. I am a Christian, and even though logically God cannot be proven, I don't care. I just push aside all the stuff against him, and remain steadfast. Is that just plain old defiance? Or an F over T preference.
Judging: I really need to wrap this up, I am tired. Hehe. I need closure, but I am also scared of it. I am punctual for all my places, and I hate hate hate being late. But I can't stand being put on a schedule of someone else at the same time. Like, I got the perfect attendance bonus at my job for never being late for once, but I can't stand having to come in at a certain time. I find it stupid. And while I'm aware this is more Fi than a judging part, I tend to past judgement very very quickly... Yes. I do. A perfect example of needing closure is the fact that I have to be a friggin MBTI type. I have gone in this cycle isfj -> isfp -> istj -> isfj -> infj -> infp -> infj -> enfp -> XXXX. My ISTJ brother says "who cares what type you are. It doesn't even matter." My ENFP sister says "well why do you have to be a certain type? I'll still love you." And that's why I get lost. Heh. I NEED TO BE ONE SO I CAN KNOW WHAT I AM. My identity is very important to me. (Which is an ENFP trait).
Perceiving: And at the same time, I am afraid of closure. If a decision has been made, there is no going back. what if it was a bad decision? I am stuck with it, and I have to ride it out for the worst of it. That being said I have very hard time making decisions, especially if people are counting on me. I become frantic. While my ENFP sister keeps her cool.... Hmmm... Anyways, I have heard P's are excellent multitaskers. I am an absolute horrible multitasker. I'm also not that organized, I'm always looking for my keys etc. When I look back at my last college semester, I was never late for a single class, save for Computer. But thats because I had kickboxing from 630 am to 820, and computer was at 9. (And I had to drive home and shower). But I would prefer to keep to my own schedule, not someone elses. Is that inherently P? Or J? Is any schedule a J thing? *sigh* I also starting new projects occasionally, but I don't know. I think I enjoy the thrill of going against the norm for me. I derive great satisfaction from closing up stuff, but at the same time I am always looking for something new. I think this it... For the time.
In general, why I fit:
ISTJ: When my sister went to Wisconsin last month, I stayed up all night to make sure she got to the Airport on time. It would break my heart (Feeling?) if she was late. So I made sure she was already and I drove her there at 430am. She said "go figures, my NF brother *she's an MBTI freak like me* would make sure I got here on time." But if an ISTJ is a duty fulfiller,wouldn't that make sense as well? And thats what really fits me on spot on about ISTJ. Dependability. I am very dependable, its what makes me who I am. I have a 760 Credit score, (I just got my first ever credit act back in Feb, so I don't think it's too shabby) and it's going up all the time. I've never missed a single bill, and I couldn't bear it if I did. I'm very proprietary, everything should happen, and that is the way its going to happen. When things don't go according to plan I fall apart. I can be very cynical, sarcastic, and tactless when I feel it is important. On the other forum, I sensed a user was having a ridiculous pity party, and I let loose on her. I find it utterly ridiculous and almost vulgar (in the sense you take advantage of others goodwill) to host pity parties. I also have an extreme habit of being close minded. I do not care about anyway but my way. However, I am still the kind of person who is open to different ways of living, if that makes sense. Like I don't tell people I'm a Christian, quasi Conservative, who dislikes Obama, because I fear they will think I'm a bigot. I'm clearly not, and infact I wish my family wasn't so close minded to different ways of life. That's the clincher, I am close minded to events, but open minded to people. I can't stand being controlled by other people (ENFP) however, I love and take pleasure in controlling other people. But I don't know if that is simply because I'm immature, or an STJ. I also read ISTJs love and value honest people, and tend to be honest themselves. This is definitely me as a younger child, but I've become increasingly deceiving, so much to the point of I don't see the point in telling the truth anymore.
ENFP: So, the ENFP, antithesis of the ISTJ essentially. The main thing that struck me as "OMG IM ENFP" was two things. One: The gift of gab. I have an extremely hard time expressing my thoughts, and emotions. So much so, that as a teenager I would create fake events/feelings/emotions as a metaphor in a sense to express what I really felt. I have a deeply strong belief somethings shouldn't be told. But at the same time, when I do open up, I am able to make amazing connections with people, and charm them quite easily. At my answering service, all my bosses have told me I am amazing in that I create a connection with each caller, and I can calm down the angriest one. I have shot up from peon when I started to the upper echelons. However, I do it cringingly. I DO NOT CARE that you pipe is flooding. I do not care that you have a rash on your cervix, I do not care that the painter never showed. It's your fault for not doing what you were supposed to do, stop trying to push your blame on other people. Thats what goes on in my head "oh you idiot caller, I can't believe you were stupid enough to pay a tax business to lower your taxes. That's not physically possible." But I'm saying "Oh wow, ok mr. Rogers I will definitely make sure they get that message right away. I'll mark it urgent. Is there anything I can do for you today? Ok, well I hope you have a great day, enjoy your Christmas." And like that, voila I have calmed down a caller who came onto the line screaming at me, to a guy who even legitimately said thank you when he hung up. And that's that for the gift of gab speech. the other part that intrigued me, was the ENFPs need to make me people grow. That's what I love to do. As much as I hate feelings, I love people. Nothing warms my heart more than a "Thank you so much, because of you I got out of this hurtful relationship and now make 216 billion a year and I own a pomeranian." You get the deal. I love bettering other peoples situations, and am quite humanitarian. When I was a kid there were two careers I would kill to be. A police officer, and a missionary. (talk about conflicting). I am an ENFP in that I am always day dreaming, thinking about the life I am going to lead. While I love to be in the here and now (ISTJ) I also know you should know what to expect when it comes down the road. ENFPs are known as the social scientists, which I would definitely concur that I am. I love typing people (even though I am pretty God awful at it) and I love behavior analyzing, why people do what they do. A particular favorite of mine is to watch serial killer shows (watching Dexter at the moment) and figure out what makes a serial killer kill. Which is N... Isn't it? Sigh. I also talk nonstop, its impossible to shut me up. But I think I talk because the unknown scares me (which it doesn't scare my ENFP sister) so if I talk the unknown will be known. But it's compulsive, I don't enjoy talking.
I know I kinda ended that ENFP part abruptly but... I would ramble for hours. And I tend to ramble, I don't know ISTJs to ramble.
Bah. Thank you so much for reading this, I greatly appreciate it. I will pay for eye surgery for anyone's eyes who conked out from reading this.
If this makes sense to anyone, let me know. I will mail you a tootsie pop in the mail first class shipping.
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