Loner?

[Flavus Aquila]

I had to go to a dinner last night and here is a little technique I tried for settling the nerves:

on my way there, I was thinking about the INFJ cognitive functions and I thought that I should try and "get into character" for the dinner, according to my extraverted functions. What I realised was that in the past, I had tried extraverting my introverted functions, which is very awkward and stressful.

(cut and paste from one of my other posts) :

INFJ Cognitive Functions in Order (hinged on Ni):
Ni, Fe, Ti, Se

Ni: philosopher;
Fe: Counselor;
Ti: depressive/penitent;
Se: strategist.


Stressed out INFJ's shaddow Cognitive Functions in Order (hinged on Ne):
Ne, Fi, Te, Si

Ne: annoying doomsday soothsayer;
Fi: fragile prince/princess;
Te: annoying perfectionist micro-manager;
Si: narcissistic wanker (in the litteral sense).


It worked, as much as an INFJ can handle these situations: I played the counselor/strategist instead of the usual soothsayer/perfectionist. The evening went .... well.... great!

 

[Quinlan]

I had to go to a dinner last night and here is a little technique I tried for settling the nerves:

on my way there, I was thinking about the INFJ cognitive functions and I thought that I should try and "get into character" for the dinner, according to my extraverted functions. What I realised was that in the past, I had tried extraverting my introverted functions, which is very awkward and stressful.

So all I need to do is play on my extraverted functions (Se and Te)?

*takes notes: be more like Simon Cowell, people will love you for it...*

:thumb:

 

[Azure_Knight]

I need human company, but I am a loner myself. My solace is in music, reading, relaxation, and occasionally going out if the need becomes too great.

I do feel a profound disconnect from others however; I have learn to recognize it, accept it, and try to change it. From the way that you started the OP, it sounds as if you are possibly having trouble with the solitude. My advice to you is to try to keep busy (if you can), and throw yourself into the things that you love to do. A mind that is left to roam in solitude can be dangerous (especially if the thoughts are damaging and serve no purpose other than to damage). I hope this helps

 

[Zero Angel]

Agreed. When I was 21, I preferred solitude but at 26 i'm just starting to get used to the idea that I need other people to break me out of repetitive and harmful thought patterns and to expand my inner world which has contracted noticably due to the fact that I isolate a lot of the time. It's most annoying.

Consequently I have changed quite a bit in the past four years, I've become more likely to try and form a bond with other individuals. It's actually rather satisfying but can invoke a sense of dread and suffocating disorientation which must be persisted through in order to widen my comfort zone. I've found as a result there are times when I don't take things so personally and I can sometimes crack off a witty retort because i'm not entranced by my inner world -- which can be a paradise as much as it can be a hell.

 

[Azure_Knight]

Agreed. When I was 21, I preferred solitude but at 26 i'm just starting to get used to the idea that I need other people to break me out of repetitive and harmful thought patterns and to expand my inner world which has contracted noticably due to the fact that I isolate a lot of the time. It's most annoying.

Consequently I have changed quite a bit in the past four years, I've become more likely to try and form a bond with other individuals. It's actually rather satisfying but can invoke a sense of dread and suffocating disorientation which must be persisted through in order to widen my comfort zone. I've found as a result there are times when I don't take things so personally and I can sometimes crack off a witty retort because i'm not entranced by my inner world -- which can be a paradise as much as it can be a hell.

You remind me of Vash. An excellent pick for your avatar

I can relate to what you are saying in the second paragraph. Life is what we make of it under this sky so blue. I have found myself trapped in my thoughts many times as well; it is much better to step back and take things less seriously than to drown in the feeling.

 

[Zero Angel]

Thanks for the compliment. It's meaningful because I admire Vash as a character very greatly. He is unassuming and regardless of how complicated and bad a situation is he always finds a way to turn it around and bring happiness to people. And no matter how much people hate him for the wrong reasons he never succumbs to the instinct to hate them back. I could write an essay on him and all of the symbology of Trigun but I think i'll save that for later!

 

[poetrygirl]

I never once thought of myself as a loner but now that I think about I guess I always have been one since I was very young. It makes me wonder if I'll always be alone.