ISFP and INFJ relationships | INFJ Forum

ISFP and INFJ relationships

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by daydreamer, Jul 18, 2009.

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  1. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    Do you think it could work out? I tried looking online, but I couldn't really find anything when it comes to an INFJ and ISFP relationships. I'm a female INFJ and he's a male ISFP.

    Plus, what do ISFPs like to talk about? What gifts do they like to receive? What keeps them interested? Any advice would be great! And thank you so much in advance!!!
     
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  2. Faye

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    As for gifts, interests, etc... that depends on the individual. Get to know him and you can answer those questions. We can't answer those questions.

    Yes, I do think it could work out. Type doesn't determine relationships, but even if it did ISFP gets along well with INFJ I understand.
     
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  3. OP
    daydreamer

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    Okay, thanks. I guess I figured out he likes stuff made by hand. Anyway, do you know what they usually take pride in? What do they like to hear? Of course, I'll make the compliments sincere and truthfull, but I still want to know. Thanks.
     
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  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    People usually take pride in what they do, or, more importantly, what they tell you they like to do. I'm guessing they like to hear compliments. Of course, this goes for all types, not just ISFPs.

    If you haven't already, you should read some descriptions of ISFP.
     
  5. corvidae

    corvidae ohai internets
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    My experience with ISFPs is that they're friendly but like to have personal space. They are very polite and low-key. If they tell you something gossipy or politically incorrect, that's a good sign that they feel they can trust you. Also, if they start acting silly it means they feel comfortable around you.

    ISFPs have low tolerance for stressful situations. They want to "live and let live".

    I personally would not date an ISFP, but they make great friends.

    Onr of my good friends is a male ISFP. He's pretty independent, and likely would not like any gushy love letters or bold heroics or anything like that. Just be friendly, don't take things too seriously, and I think an ISFP can be won over.
     
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  6. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Like anyone, depends on their interests, I personally like talking about Se related things, sports, nature whatever is going on in the present. That's not to say I don't like talking about other things but those are usually the kind of things that make me the most talkative/animated.

    Personally, I'm not big on gifts. I like attention and affection better, things like a massage or doing fun things together is usual great and better than a present. If I do want a present I prefer something useful related to my interests.

    Genuine interest and enthusiasm towards them, and lots of playfulness and attention.
     
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  7. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    From my experience, ISFPs are usually fairly fun-loving, well-meaning people. I have a ISFP friend that loves music and gets really excited when you talk to her about something she likes, and she's this fun, quirky individual that's just easy to be around.

    I think an ISFP/ INFJ relationship could work pretty well, so long as you guys keep communication going :)
     
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  8. IndigoSensor

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    One of my best friends is an ISFP. I can safely say we understand each other better then any of our other friends. There is just a lot of mutual understanding, and caring between us.
     
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  9. OP
    daydreamer

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    What are the ISFPs favorite things to do? Where is a place to go on a date with them other then a massage?

    Thank you all so much.
     
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  10. IndigoSensor

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    Go for an adventure somewhere.
     
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  11. OP
    daydreamer

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    Do they like nicknames? Sorry I ask so many questions.
     
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  12. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Sorry Ilovethewind but a lot of this stuff depends on the individual, I would probably guess that in general ISFPs would like to go somewhere they can be active and involved in something practical and I suppose most ISFPs would find nicknames cute...

    I dunno, I don't know any other confirmed ISFPs so I can only speak for myself really.
     
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  13. OP
    daydreamer

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    That's true, but I kind of notice that he is in general an ISFP. Thank you again.
     
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  14. Aim

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    I'm in a relationship like this

    Hi there,

    I'm a female INFJ with a male ISFP and I have to say that it was great in the beginning. He is very charming and silly and we spent most of our first year doing nothing but laughing at sillyness.

    Now we have been together for 4.5 years and i find myself feeling very unfullfilled and lonely. He spends most of his time in his "office" playing video games, won't leave the house unless it's for work, and refuses to have any serious conversations with me about feelings or really most other things that i enjoy talking about. Most of the time he won't kiss me or hug me in a serious way (he does it in a joking silly "locker room pat on the back" way).

    Don't get me wrong, I love him very much and he does show me a lot of affection but it's in a way that doesn't make me feel the connection that I long for. I love him so much but I almost wish I knew then what I know now, i might have made different choices. Then again, he is so charming I may not have been able to resist :)
     
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  15. OP
    daydreamer

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    ^ Whoah, really? I didn't know ISFPs get like that after a while.
     
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  16. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    They may or may not. MBTI does not define on an individual basis...it's true some ISFPs might act like that, but it's also true that they might not.

    Basically, MBTI is more a tool to describe the patterns by which people develop and think, not so much how they actually are individually. The similarities are obviously very much there, but no one is limited to acting a certain way or being tied to their type. There are "healthy" or well-developed and mentally mature people of each type, and "unhealthy" or poorly developed people and people prone to issues in each type.

    I'd give the ISFP a try and see for yourself. It's very possible it could be a rewarding experience.
     
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  17. OP
    daydreamer

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    All right, thanks! You guys are all so helpful!
     
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  18. winter moon

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    INFJ female in a relationship with ISFP male



    Hello everyone,

    This is my first ever post so please bear with me. I realise this thread is quite old now but I am a female INFJ in a relationship with someone who I am convinced is an ISFP. I'm quite certain that I don't have any other ISFP's in my life so I too am hoping to get some insight into this personality type... have tried searching for ISFP forums but there appears to be a shortage of them so I have posted here instead!

    Please note that the intention of my post is to try to get better insight in relation to the ISFP male and how to improve relations between us, I don't mean to judge anyone and I understand that a relationship is more than just about personalities so I'm hoping you can pick up on individual characteristics/factors that I may not be aware of myself.

    To make a long story short, I have been great friends with a (suspected) ISFP for the last ten years. We had amazing chemistry as friends. I found him fun, caring, affectionate, charming, funny and basically wonderful. I had originally had him picked as an ENFP because he was very sociable, entertaining, extroverted; seemed very attuned to my feelings; loving, affectionate, generous, and very easy going, laid back and spontaneous.

    Just over 10 months ago we were both single and went from just friends to dating. It was a little difficult at the beginning because we lived 3,000kms apart and so basically it was a long distance relationship for 6 months. I say it was difficult but we talked every day and it developed into a strong relationship considering the circumstances. We had no fights or arguments.

    I had decided pretty early i.e. about 9 months ago that I wanted to relocate to where he was in order to be closer to him (as well as other things like further my career, expand my horizons etc) So after 2-3 months of planning I sold my car, organised landlord insurance, a property manager, rented out my property, hired removalists, convinced my boss to give me a transfer... all of which I basically did on my own and it was very very stressful but rewarding in the end.

    The original plan was to crash at my partner's place for a month at the most while I got settled and then move into my own place. Eventually a month turned into 4+ and I'm still living with him. It has been an adjustment for both us and I started to suspect I was wrong about him being an ENFP after a couple of arguments over the past few months and also some of my observations. Recently I convinced him to take an MBTI perrsonality test and he tested ISFP. The FP wasn't a surprise, and I have realised he is not an extrovert (except when he wants to be in some social situations... very confusing!) However, the S definitely was. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's any major problems in our relationship but he definitely fits the ISFP profile more than ENFP so I want to know more. Plus I absolutely love him to bits, and the relationship is far from being in serious trouble. Actually it would have to be my most satisfying relationship so far, perhaps I am being preemptive and seeing problems that are not there...

    Anyway, issues that I am starting to see crop up more than once are:

    • His lack of respect/consideration for my need to plan. I am a SERIOUS planner. I don't like being unprepared.
      My lack of understanding of his preference for spontanaeity. Several times I have been really p*ssed off by him either saying yes to a social engagement and then bailing, which has resulted in him not committing at all to any social engagement with me... I get the standard "I'll play it by ear" which basically means 'it depends how I feel the hour before'.
      Several times he has told me I need to give him "space". In the beginning I found this really confusing as we are both introverts and I can be very detached and in my head both at work and at home. Yes I am affectionate but I don't believe I'm smothering. We don't even 'chat' during the day, at most we will email a couple of times at work. I'm also very independent so when I'm not spending time with him, I'm out going for a walk, going to personal training, going shopping, catching up with friends. Basically I felt I gave him plenty of space. I am sooo confused about this! As I type, I am listening to my ipod and he's sitting right next to me gaming online. I have suggested that I move out and find my own place as I had originally planned but the only times he has agreed to that is when we have argued.
      He's so indirect... he doesn't tell me what he wants from me, no specifics, no feedback. He tells me he loves me the way I am but problems come up when we have arguments. However, I too have not spoken up to him about things that I wasn't happy about.

    To finish off, I love this guy very much and want to make things better. I guess my fear is that we end up becoming lonely and unfullfilled, more like housemates than a fulfilling relationship. If there are any ISFP males out there, help a girl out :)

    Thanks for listening.
     
  19. 88chaz88

    88chaz88 Back for a limited time only
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    What do you need help with, exactly?

    I'm an ISFP in a relationship (albeit long distance) with an INFJ and would be happy to help with any issues.
     
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  20. winter moon

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    Hey,

    Sorry for rambling! Basically, I just want to know how to care for an ISFP partner, ways to show my love and appreciation, what most ticks you (meaning him) off, perhaps the things about INFJ that you really can't stand....
    WHY are ISFP so averse to forward planning?!
     
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