Hi, everyone this is my first post on the infj forum, and as the title indicates I need help decoding an INFJ.
I have known her for about three months, and liked her for about 2. About one month ago I tutored her and some of her friends in a group study session. At which point one of my friends was trying to hook the two of us up - the friend was an ENFP. At that point I simply asked her in front of everyone - because I was dead sure she did not like me - weather or not she liked me. She said that she only liked Asian guys, and did not have some secret love for me that was motivating her friend to try and hook us up. That was all fine and dandy until about two weeks ago, when I realized that I really do have feelings for her. Rumpelstiltskin!
Currently we are spend much more time with one another than we used to, and I am not sure but I seem to be detecting differences or abnormalities in her behavior. Which if she is anything like me, means that there is much more to these differences than meets the eye.
Abnormalities in her behavior.
1. When I was tutoring her I got her to take the MBTI. She is an INFJ. She has apparently been to the intj forum, and done research on INTJs. I told her on day one that I was an INTJ.
2. She seems to be upset that INTJs through people away after they have outlived their usefulness. She actually brought it up with me in class. Strange. My question is, why would she care?
3. Last class, we are both total nerds and work really hard in school, I distracted her several times during the lecture by cracking jokes. They were good jokes by the way. But the odd part is that she just smiled, laughed, and cracked jokes back. Very odd, considering that she has never before then payed attention to anyone else, or talk to anyone else while the prof was talking. Also at no point did she slap me across the face and tell me to listen to the prof, as I would if anyone tried that stuff on me in class.
4. In the last week, she has contacted me three times over the internet to chat about work, of course it then turns into other conversations about MBTI and stuff.
5. While talking to her I have not been able to get very much info out her about her. But she did admit to being insecure, which I had to pry out of her based on her type. She then explained it in a general sense using the characteristics of an INFJ. I expected this, considering she is an INFJ, and does not like to let people in.
6. I have requested that she call me when she needs help, but every time I do, she turns me down giving me some half baked excuse. I know she talks on the phone to some of her female friends, so why not me? It just seems abnormal.
7. I may be grasping at straws on this one. She asked me about a post on the intj forum, the one about who is scarier INTJs or INFJs. Now, this is a very old post that is not easily found. You don't get it if you search INTJ or INFJ alone. You can find it quite easily though if you search INTJ and INFJ. I should know, I searched it to find out how the dynamic was.
Any ways, what do you guys make of these abnormalities? Coincidence, or does she have feelings for me beyond me just being a friend.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes, and for making you guys listen to the problems of another hopeless INTJ.
Thank you for your help.
I have known her for about three months, and liked her for about 2. About one month ago I tutored her and some of her friends in a group study session. At which point one of my friends was trying to hook the two of us up - the friend was an ENFP. At that point I simply asked her in front of everyone - because I was dead sure she did not like me - weather or not she liked me. She said that she only liked Asian guys, and did not have some secret love for me that was motivating her friend to try and hook us up. That was all fine and dandy until about two weeks ago, when I realized that I really do have feelings for her. Rumpelstiltskin!
Currently we are spend much more time with one another than we used to, and I am not sure but I seem to be detecting differences or abnormalities in her behavior. Which if she is anything like me, means that there is much more to these differences than meets the eye.
Abnormalities in her behavior.
1. When I was tutoring her I got her to take the MBTI. She is an INFJ. She has apparently been to the intj forum, and done research on INTJs. I told her on day one that I was an INTJ.
2. She seems to be upset that INTJs through people away after they have outlived their usefulness. She actually brought it up with me in class. Strange. My question is, why would she care?
3. Last class, we are both total nerds and work really hard in school, I distracted her several times during the lecture by cracking jokes. They were good jokes by the way. But the odd part is that she just smiled, laughed, and cracked jokes back. Very odd, considering that she has never before then payed attention to anyone else, or talk to anyone else while the prof was talking. Also at no point did she slap me across the face and tell me to listen to the prof, as I would if anyone tried that stuff on me in class.
4. In the last week, she has contacted me three times over the internet to chat about work, of course it then turns into other conversations about MBTI and stuff.
5. While talking to her I have not been able to get very much info out her about her. But she did admit to being insecure, which I had to pry out of her based on her type. She then explained it in a general sense using the characteristics of an INFJ. I expected this, considering she is an INFJ, and does not like to let people in.
6. I have requested that she call me when she needs help, but every time I do, she turns me down giving me some half baked excuse. I know she talks on the phone to some of her female friends, so why not me? It just seems abnormal.
7. I may be grasping at straws on this one. She asked me about a post on the intj forum, the one about who is scarier INTJs or INFJs. Now, this is a very old post that is not easily found. You don't get it if you search INTJ or INFJ alone. You can find it quite easily though if you search INTJ and INFJ. I should know, I searched it to find out how the dynamic was.
Any ways, what do you guys make of these abnormalities? Coincidence, or does she have feelings for me beyond me just being a friend.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes, and for making you guys listen to the problems of another hopeless INTJ.
Thank you for your help.