When a person feels romantic interest towards someone, they often see ways that person appeals to them personally and think of reasons why they want to be close. How often do people think about what they have to offer the other person? It makes sense that there are people one would personally have less to offer than others, but how often is this recognized in a romantic context.
The times in my life when someone hounded me without much regard to my feelings, the focus of my disinterest was an overwhelming sense that their regard had little or no consideration for my needs or feelings (hence the hounding), but was selfishly and often blindly driven. It felt like they assumed they were entitled to me and if I didn't recognize that, they took to hating me. I then asked myself what people could I feel attached to but also be able to recognize that I wasn't what they needed. Perhaps it is someone who needs financial resources for their career, someone who needs to socialize a lot, someone who loves sports and dreams of sharing that passion with someone else. What if I felt attached because I was attracted, saw how kind they were to people, and how they made me feel at ease. Could I recognize that my ability to fill their needs was limited and therefore not be interested.
It seems really important to not just approach people like a tall order at a fast food restaurant... "And I want ____, and I want ____, I also want _____ only without ______, Oh and i want extra mayo ..."
The times in my life when someone hounded me without much regard to my feelings, the focus of my disinterest was an overwhelming sense that their regard had little or no consideration for my needs or feelings (hence the hounding), but was selfishly and often blindly driven. It felt like they assumed they were entitled to me and if I didn't recognize that, they took to hating me. I then asked myself what people could I feel attached to but also be able to recognize that I wasn't what they needed. Perhaps it is someone who needs financial resources for their career, someone who needs to socialize a lot, someone who loves sports and dreams of sharing that passion with someone else. What if I felt attached because I was attracted, saw how kind they were to people, and how they made me feel at ease. Could I recognize that my ability to fill their needs was limited and therefore not be interested.
It seems really important to not just approach people like a tall order at a fast food restaurant... "And I want ____, and I want ____, I also want _____ only without ______, Oh and i want extra mayo ..."
Last edited: