Is Anyone Too Good (Different) for You?

There are certain types of people I know that I wouldn't get along with. They can be as nice as they'd like but they still leave a foul taste in my mouth. But it's so easy to see when someone isn't a fit. I'm just wondering how people 'fall' for others who are the complete opposite for what they are looking for and or need. But then again, attachments with me don't happen a lot, that may be the missing piece here.

 

Noone is too good for me. Never has been.

 

I'd rather let them make that decision. They know what they need more than I do.

 

I would definitly feel disappointed if the answer from them was no. Entitled or resentful.... anything is possible. Well yes I have felt both of those as well in this situation. I dont try to control my feelings in that way.

 

I usually do think of what I have to offer the other person. Although of course, this is in very concrete terms. Like, someone might be very outgoing socially which is a good fit for me, but they might be very reserved and not like to make the first move in intimate relationships and I do because I get impatient. Then I recognize that I do have something to offer, although whether the other person actually attaches any value to that is the question.

Mostly I try not to burden others with my feelings. Often I'll analyze the other's behaviour until I'm reasonably certain they have feelings for me too, then make a move. Usually I'm right. In other instances where I was sure I wasn't what they wanted I just... got over it in due time. In one case it was a friend of mine and later once I was over it I told her I had feelings for her in the past. We had a good laugh about it.

I wonder if giving so much consideration to how the other person might or might not feel makes me odd.

 

If it makes you odd, then I'm odd, too.

I don't ever seem to look at people I meet and think that they're not good enough for me. I don't think it's necessarily about what there is to offer to one another more than it is what they're WILLING to give. If you're willing to give yourself up to me, like I am to you, then we'll have a good relationship. If you want me to give myself, but not give back then it's no good.

I'd say the only qualities of sorts that I look for are kinda superficial in a way. They have to be into good music (well, good in my opinion), have a great sense of humor, and they have to have a genuine smile. I dno't think anything else makes me feel they aren't for me, at least at first glance.

 

That's a little different. If a girl has ambitions that don't mesh with mine, or ambitions that can be best met in a place I never want to visit, I will happily leave her knowing I'm doing her a service.

 

I'm not nearly that strategic. Right now, I'm dating a guy who's going to med school in a year and I plan on joining the Peace Corp when I graduate. We've acknowledged these things, and realize we probably won't stay together then.. but as we have feelings for each other now and we are available to each other now, we're in a committed relationship because this is all the time we may have to be. Just kinda wingin' it.

Life is too short to miss out on something so potentially great in the present, because you're worried about the future.

 

[SIZE=Default]"Life is too short to miss out on something so potentially great in the present, because you're worried about the future"

So true. It's too bad people look at me strangely when I live this way; they don't know what they are missing out on.
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You're not doing anyone a favor by depriving them of your loveliness and presence because you've got it in yerr head that they're too good for you. =P

edit: I mean, that is if they want your loveliness and presence.. and you're not stalking them or anything..

 

No one's too good for me, I'm too good for the world!
(I felt like Shai Gar when I was typing that)

But in all honesty, it's too bad that the world is missing out on all the good people on this forum.

 

I only date a guy if I think he's too good for me. I like a challenge. Secretly though, I don't think anyone is too good for anyone. Its just a matter of not being right for someone.

 

I only date guys I can learn from or learn with.. I don't care about money or appearance. I'm into openness and intelligence.. With a lot of spontaneity.

 

Yeah, no one is better, just some aren't compatible.

 

I value when people take responsibility for their own experience. If I need something from another, then I think it much more respectful to state that need and include the other in the process of deciding if there is a match or not.

I understand some people are not comfortable asserting themselves in the face of an open expression of need, however I do not believe I do anyone a favor by preempting their free-will and making the choice for them.

That said, do I sometimes think I am not good enough for someone else and shy away from engaging? Certainly. I consider that a display of fear and weakness on my part.

 

How do you separate thinking someone is too good for you/you're not right for them from raging pessimism anyway?

 

I've never considered anyone too good for me, though apparently many girls think I'm too good for them, but I guess a lot of that is due to the social conditioning that warps girls' ideas about what acceptable treatment of them is (meaning, they're conditioned to be used to getting treated less well than they should be).