INTJ

[CindyLou]

Any suggestions on how to heal @CindyLou ?

Space. Just confide and stay close to your inner circle for awhile. Those who you know without a shadow of a doubt are safe. I don't know your situation 100% so I'm just speculating but you sound like where I've been before. It's like a sunburn. Even the 'touch' of someone who doesn't mean any harm can hurt.

 

[Jet]

Any suggestions on how to heal @CindyLou ?

BG?

 

[hn87c901]

BG?

BG??

 

[Jet]

BG??

Crap sorry ... I keep forgetting different forums use different acronyms ... BG=background.

No obligation to share, but if possible I'd like to help. You seem nice, I like you.

 

[hn87c901]

Space. Just confide and stay close to your inner circle for awhile. Those who you know without a shadow of a doubt are safe. I don't know your situation 100% so I'm just speculating but you sound like where I've been before. It's like a sunburn. Even the 'touch' of someone who doesn't mean any harm can hurt.

Thank you. A bit like sunburn but more like a friggin wound. I take on board your advice.

 

[hn87c901]

Crap sorry ... I keep forgetting different forums use different acronyms ... BG=background.

No obligation to share, but if possible I'd like to help. You seem nice, I like you.

Thank you @Jet.

I'm touched by the kindness of people on this forum.
I need to clear something up with @CindyLou first. "To stay close to my inner circle for a while"....what I speak about on this forum is not what I share with anyone but 1 person in RL. My intention when I joined was to air what is really going on in my inner world. It has been surprisingly healing to find strangers who offer support and care that I don't find in RL. It has been a means for healing for me. Sure I am going through a difficult time right now and I'm aware that a public forum has its critics. But the support I have found thus far has far outweighed any of the negative impact.

 

[hn87c901]

Thank you @Jet.

I'm touched by the kindness of people on this forum.
I need to clear something up with @CindyLou first. "To stay close to my inner circle for a while"....what I speak about on this forum is not what I share with anyone but 1 person in RL. My intention when I joined was to air what is really going on in my inner world. It has been surprisingly healing to find strangers who offer support and care that I don't find in RL. It has been a means for healing for me. Sure I am going through a difficult time right now and I'm aware that a public forum has its critics. But the support I have found thus far has far outweighed any of the negative impact.

Following on from my last post...

In order to be open and vulnerable on a public forum I have had to put some things in place (which have been absolutely necessary if one chooses to do this btw)
Firstly I have a list of names of whose opinions matter to me. 5 are from RL and 1 is a member of this forum. These are the go to people when a shame spiral hits. Consistently invaluable.
Secondly I'm aware of my shame triggers and know when I'm in a shame spiral.
And thirdly to practice gratitude daily.

My intention was to be open and vulnerable on this forum. A trial run if you life for RL.
Behind the scenes so much more has been going on. I breathe a lot more easily than 4 months ago

 

[CindyLou]

Thank you @Jet.

I'm touched by the kindness of people on this forum.
I need to clear something up with @CindyLou first. "To stay close to my inner circle for a while"....what I speak about on this forum is not what I share with anyone but 1 person in RL. My intention when I joined was to air what is really going on in my inner world. It has been surprisingly healing to find strangers who offer support and care that I don't find in RL. It has been a means for healing for me. Sure I am going through a difficult time right now and I'm aware that a public forum has its critics. But the support I have found thus far has far outweighed any of the negative impact.

I'm not trying to be a critic at all. I'm so sorry if I came across that way. I'm sorry.

I was telling you earlier in the thread that IMO that you don't have to like INTJs right now. I believe that. If you are wounded or hurting maybe it's not the best time right now to try and make this whole INTJ thing work. It's the attraction that I'm seeing here like a moth to a flame that makes me go 'wtf'. When I was deeply hurt by an NT type I was repulsed by cold logic and the NT mind. It made me want to vomit until I was healed. I didn't allow myself to become close or vulnerable with any of them. The aversion protected me, and when I was ready I went out into the world and met an awesome NT was able able to trust again, and more importantly I wasn't so easily hurt. I didn't have the 'sunburn' anymore. A hand on my shoulder didn't make me scream in pain as if I was hit by someone who intentionally meant to hurt me. If that makes any sense. Lol

I'm not judging you. I'm really not. I just don't want to see you having the same experience over and over again when maybe you just need some time.

I'm not trying to get you to stop posting or sharing. Please don't stop. I just really want you to heal so you can give them and yourself a proper chance. *hug*

 

[hn87c901]

I'm not trying to be a critic at all. I'm so sorry if I came across that way. I'm sorry.

I was telling you earlier in the thread that IMO that you don't have to like INTJs right now. I believe that. If you are wounded or hurting maybe it's not the best time right now to try and make this whole INTJ thing work. It's the attraction that I'm seeing here like a moth to a flame that makes me go 'wtf'. When I was deeply hurt by an NT type I was repulsed by cold logic and the NT mind. It made me want to vomit until I was healed. I didn't allow myself to become close or vulnerable with any of them. The aversion protected me, and when I was ready I went out into the world and met an awesome NT was able able to trust again, and more importantly I wasn't so easily hurt. I didn't have the 'sunburn' anymore. A hand on my shoulder didn't make me scream in pain as if I was hit by someone who intentionally meant to hurt me. If that makes any sense. Lol

I'm not judging you. I'm really not. I just don't want to see you having the same experience over and over again when maybe you just need some time.

I'm not trying to get you to stop posting or sharing. Please don't stop. I just really want you to heal so you can give them and yourself a proper chance. *hug*

Hi, I went for a walk by the river and was thinking about your post. I'm so sorry - I wasn't thinking that you might have been a critic.

I guess I was rationalising to myself if somebody were to respond in a hurtful way to anything I shared - which been open and honest and has opened me up to being hurt - what I would do to manage those hurtful comments.

So far this hasn't happened thankfully.

I also have thought about your experience with INTJ's and I have taken your words on board as I know the heart of an INFJ is to help others help themselves. From that perspective I understand what you are saying.

As for sharing myself on this forum...I know the damage that secrecy, shame and judgement do when they are mixed together in that dark petri dish. How it festers and bubbles away in its toxicity. Having said that, should it become a damaging place to share I can exit stage left by pressing this button. I don't imagine that would happen

 

[Bellosome]

-sigh- that is how i feel towards intjs.

 

[CindyLou]

I also have thought about your experience with INTJ's and I have taken your words on board as I know the heart of an INFJ is to help others help themselves. From that perspective I understand what you are saying.

I just noticed this part. I'm sorry for bumping this. My experience I was writing about wasn't with an INTJ but an INTP. The really bad experience anyway. This was many many years ago. It's all still the same as IMO they give off the same vibe, but ENTPs are a little easier for us to handle, and still have a mind that is interesting, intellectually stimulating and intuitive, though they can be a thorn in my side sometimes too. I just wanted to clarify.

 

[hn87c901]

I have an intense dislike of INTJs.
Time hasn't changed this for me.
Perhaps to take your advice @CindyLou.
*Blocking all INTJs.*

 

[Gust]

INTJs... I would equate them to a mystical scientist of sorts.
Meanwhile, an INFJ would be equated to a mystical prophet of sorts.

Similar, but significantly different. I'm fond of the few INTJs I know.

 

[Vigilance]

;( ;( ;(

 

[Gust]

;( ;( ;(

Ikr

 

[Vigilance]

I love INFJs no matter how much they hate INTJs... In fact, I myself am guilty of abandoning a few INFJs trust in me my younger years.....

I have came to accept this.... INFJs are the most beautiful souls ever, and I have been wrong. I have learned my lessons with them and no longer do I/ have I made the same mistakes. I find communication with them helps. They must know at all times how "I" feel.

 

[Gust]

I love INFJs no matter how much they hate INTJ.... in fact, I myself am guilty of abandoning a few INFJ's trust in me my younger years.....

I have came to accept this.... INFJS are the most beautiful souls ever, and I have been wrong. I have learned my lessons with them and no longer do I/ have I made the same mistakes. I find communication with them helps. They must know at all times how "I" feel.

Well said.
Communication is important. Typism is not a good endeavor.

 

[Vigilance]

Wow, I just realized this thread was started almost 5+ years ago....

 

[jyrffw54]

LOL I almost forgot about this thread. I think Chazz made one for each type too. Good luck finding all of them.


Another observation I have made about INTJs/ENTJs. When I spend time with them in person, we usually don't need to talk. We just let each other be, and occasionally pick each other's minds...usually moreso on their end. A lot of our communication is nonverbal, done with the eyes in a sort of energetic dance between our gazes. Everything is done and said with a degree of nuance. Very scarce useless/mindless chatter.

 

[acd]

Intjs are my favorite type!