Internet relationships

Azlan

Azlan

Regular Poster
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
I DUNNO LOL
How many of you have been tempted to get into one? I meet a lot of people online, some I'm pretty much indifferent about and some I can't help but look forward to talk to. People I meet online (IRL as well) tend to trust me with pretty sensitive stuff when we talk and I can't help but feel closer to them as a result. It can get mighty hard to keep my emotions at bay for people online.

WHAT SAY YOU?
 
In one right now, though since we've met and spent time irl with each other its just a normal long distance relationship.
Despite the distance its dandy. Totally worth it if you happen to find someone Awesome online. However you do have to spend more money than most introverts in a relationship though, but thats the only barrier.
 
I've done it. It didn't turn out well. Very long story though... But I am all for it.
 
DoveAlexa said:
In one right now, though since we've met and spent time irl with each other its just a normal long distance relationship.
Despite the distance its dandy. Totally worth it if you happen to find someone Awesome online. However you do have to spend more money than most introverts in a relationship though, but thats the only barrier.
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I feel because you met your partner IRL then you had a much better chance to get to know who they really are. I mean I guess it would be ok if my partner had a webcam but even then I still feel a million miles away from them.
 
Azlan said:
I feel because you met your partner IRL then you had a much better chance to get to know who they really are. I mean I guess it would be ok if my partner had a webcam but even then I still feel a million miles away from them.
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I don't really get the assumptions that the people you meet online are just plain not like who they are in real life. If you're interacting regularly its pretty hard to be two different people, especially if you have any sort of voice or video involved. Chaz was the same person I met irl as he was online, if maybe sick the first few days each trip. (Doesn't handle jetlag at all.) If there was any difference it was all in the sensory input you can't get from distance ;).
 
I've only ever had two boyfriends, and I kinda dated someone else. All three I met from teh internet. :m122:
 
Been together five years now.
 
In all honesty, I don't think I would have anything against dating someone I met online if they lived close enough in proximity and we could make the transition into a regular, offline relationship.

If they were half the world over and we've never met face to face, however, I would have trouble getting emotionally invested in something like that. No offense to anyone currently in such a situation, but I am just not a person who deals with long-distance well, especially if we haven't spent enough time together in person to make that sort of commitment. I think its absolutely amazing if two people can make a connection strictly by verbal and text-based communication alone, but I know myself well enough to know that it would take something extremely exceptional for me to pursue a long-distance, text-based relationship over a potential mate that I could go out and spend time with in a setting other than my laptop or my telephone.

Maybe that sounds unreasonable to some people, but it is important to me. In the end, you have to pursue whatever works for you.
 
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TheDaringHatTrick said:
In all honesty, I don't think I would have anything against dating someone I met online if they lived close enough in proximity and we could make the transition into a regular, offline relationship.

If they were half the world over and we've never met face to face, however, I would have trouble getting emotionally invested in something like that. No offense to anyone currently in such a situation, but I am just not a person who deals with long-distance well, especially if we haven't spent enough time together in person to make that sort of commitment. I think its absolutely amazing if two people can make a connection strictly by verbal and text-based communication alone, but I know myself well enough to know that it would take something extremely exceptional for me to pursue a long-distance, text-based relationship over a potential mate that I could go out and spend time with in a setting other than my laptop or my telephone.

Maybe that sounds unreasonable to some people, but it is important to me. In the end, you have to pursue whatever works for you.
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Couldn't have stated my feelings on the subject better than this, though I'm open to playful flirting online so long as people understand it's just playful and designed to make people feel good. Sometimes it's the only way people can get the need for validation as a human being met, and I'm more than happy to help meet the basic need of some compassion, interest, and encouragement, when all I have to do is type a few sincere words. To this end, I've found internet friendships to be excellent.
 
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VH said:
Couldn't have stated my feelings on the subject better than this, though I'm open to playful flirting online so long as people understand it's just playful and designed to make people feel good. Sometimes it's the only way people can get the need for validation as a human being met, and I'm more than happy to help meet the basic need of some compassion, interest, and encouragement, when all I have to do is type a few sincere words. To this end, I've found internet friendships to be excellent.
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Just playful flirting? I think you just broke my heart into tiny little pieces, VH :P
 
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I am also of the same opinion as VH and TDHT.

I have seen people meet online, and date, and even end up married. One of my cousins met her husband online, and she is happy with him. I understand that it's possible. However, I really can't see it working for me. Not a romantic relationship, at least. For me, it is important that my partner lives close by. I need the physical proximity in a relationship. I need to be able to see (or meet) the person and go out with him or for him to take me places without all the extensive planning and traveling.

It's unfortunate for me, because sometimes you meet fantastic people who are miles and miles away. I simply cannot envision a long distance relationship for me. My feelings won't be honest, and for me to feel deeply for the person because of a mere thought of him will be very difficult.

Also, there's the communication factor. I don't sit in front of computers for very long, and if I am then it's just open while I am doing something else, or multitasking, so I am always away or distracted. I do not log in MSN often either. That and I am very different online than offline. I am much more elaborate and engaging in RL. It's hard for me to portray who I really am online, because..well, I communicate with my body language and facial expression more than anything. Also, I pick up on vibes and energies etc. Things that you can't do online.

However, I do not mind building friendships via the internet. I can care for people and give support regardless of where the person is and how we communicate. Sometimes all people need is an email with kind words. =)

and like VH, I do a LOT of innocent and friendly flirting. Both online and offline...which gets me in trouble sometimes, but that's another story lol :P
 
I think for online relationships, it's easier to idealize the other person for which you have feelings for, then it is in real life. Based on the little information the other person has given you over the internet, you begin to fill in the gaps of what you still don't know about such prospect.
 
Its an iffy scenario really, obviously any involvement would have to include physically meeting the other person. Just a romantic internet relationship wouldn't satisfy enough needs in my opinion.
 
I've made a few incredible friends from the internet (and all on this site). Despite the distance and what not, I feel connected and close.

As for a romantic relationship, I probably couldn't do it. I need the physical company of my partner. I can do distance for a while, but I can't do it forever, and especially if we've never met. Not to knock anyone who it does work for, it's just not for me.
 
Last Dawn said:
I think for online relationships, it's easier to idealize the other person for which you have feelings for, then it is in real life. Based on the little information the other person has given you over the internet, you begin to fill in the gaps of what you still don't know about such prospect.
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"Little information"? I interact with Dove more in one day than I do with anyone else in a month. If I'm filling in gaps about anyone it would be my friends/family.
 
I have experienced falling inlove with someone online only to find out that irl they are reserved and actually uncomfortable interacting in person even as time passed. I also experienced the complete opposite. Online is just another medium and can be just as a safe and reliable medium as it is not, all depends on how you approach it (try and meet as quick as possible :D).
 
I tried once and she turned out to be a complete dingbat. I don't mind a relationship beginning online though. Distance is a reeeaalll bitch though. Prefer not to deal with, but would since what I'm looking for is scarce as fuck. STRONGLY prefer not to deal with distance actually. And "how far" matters too.
 
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Internet relationships can and do work, some people can't deal with the distance, others can. The internet is really a saviour for INFJs who not only find it difficult to find people they are attracted to but also find the traditional dating thing impenetrable.
 
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