- Apr 6, 2009
I'm at a stage where I'm trying to work out exactly what I need in a relationship. My most recent long term relationship, which was not particularly happy towards the end, was incredibly intense with a deeply felt love and need for eachother. It was a long distance relationship and I remember physically aching when he wasn't there sometimes. He was an INTJ and we had an incredible connection. However, tangled up with all the other problems here, one of them was this feeling of "needing" someone else. It was both a blessing and a curse to feel this attached, and actually after the break up I decided that I would avoid it in the future, as a threat to my independence. The thing is though, having tried the laid back relationships, I'm thinking maybe I thrive on that level of intensity, even with the bad effects it brings. Can anyone else relate to this need to be involved with someone completely heart and soul, but resenting it simultaneously? And are there any people who have ended up in long term relationships with someone calmer, more laid back and independent (maybe INTPs or INFPs) but still with the intellectual connection needed?