Inteligence/IQ Differences in Relationships | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Inteligence/IQ Differences in Relationships

Agree with @Marnie @invisible - People are more complicated than their IQ. I was once obsessed with IQ and viewed it as so important. You can use it to boost ego, but it's not great for finding real connections with people on an emotional level especially if you view it as a sign that you are superior or better than everyone else. Yes, people should be able to feel compatible with partners. Maybe a partner with a particular set of smarts is more appealing because you enjoy learning from them, or they are similar to you in their depth of understanding so you feel understood, and can appreciate each other. But using IQ or smarts as a crutch to hold over others or viewing it as a sign that someone is naturally superior is a recipe for douchery.

Although I'd prefer a partner who is smarter than me in some ways because I like learning from others without made to feel dumb or idiotic :D, my experience tells me that it's someone with compassion, consideration, kindness of spirit, care for other people, and uses their smarts to build people up, not put them down. I've been academia, and as smart as many are, many if not most are arrogant, and self important. These people have high IQs. I remember thinking once upon a time I'd like a partner who was from academia, but many had low EQs. I also didn't have high EQ myself, but I've learned over the years to value it more than IQ. If you value the concept of smarts too much, you may devalue what someone has to offer. People should be loved for who they are, not for what they are lacking, or who you want them to be.
 
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Yeah. Like at the time of doing an IQ test.
Yeah, well, then according to the sub-tests, you can evaluate some given cognitive abilities. This can be useful after a stroke, in neuropsychology, for instance.
But as I said, this need extreme precaution and knowledge about the test you're using. The interpretation can't be simply about "being intelligent" or not. It's way more complicated than this simple categorization.
But this is off topic, sorry.

People should be loved for who they are.
Perfect conclusion.
 
Laughing out loud at the concept of being the most intelligent person in the room. If you think you're capable of being the most intelligent person in the room, I guarantee you that people are looking at you as a joke.

LOL at you're LOLing, you obviously cannot relate, so you may obviously be a bit dumb.

To clarify, I already alluded to the statistical evidence which is available in support of my point.

You however are completely full of subjectivities, and probably couldn't discern true objectivity if it slapped you around the face.
 
The smartest person in a room can recognize the gifts and talents of others, as well as themelves. If we focus only on how superior we are, we can lose out on learning from others.
 
How do differences in intelligence (IQ) affect your relationships? (Or relationship preferences).

I don't mean looking at an actual iq test, but when someone is noticeably more, or less intelligent than you. (All else being equal).

Less intelligent didn't work for me in my first marriage. When my 2nd husband came along my sister told me: Well.... you've finally found someone as smart as you.
This relationship is still going after 25 years...albeit a bit rocky at times. Two hard headed know-it-alls in relationship makes it a challenge. Hah! ;)
 
Less intelligent didn't work for me in my first marriage. When my 2nd husband came along my sister told me: Well.... you've finally found someone as smart as you.
This relationship is still going after 25 years...albeit a bit rocky at times. Two hard headed know-it-alls in relationship makes it a challenge. Hah! ;)
It's a slightly personal question, so a non-reply won't give me hiccups:

From some of the replies here I get the impression that a negative attitude to higher IQ people is not uncommon. Was that a contributing factor to it not working for you in your former relationship?
 
I have always preferred for the person I am with to be more intelligent. Learning new things excites me and if they are willing to teach, I am willing to listen and learn.

I never considered myself to be smarter than anyone else because I understand that we all have our individual strengths and weaknesses. Yes, I can call a person's actions or ignorance "stupid", but I do not mean it literally. Smart people do stupid things all the time.

I have been in relationships where I found my partner lacking in certain areas. But as long as they were curious enough to ask questions and seemed genuinely interested in learning, then I was more than happy to stick around and teach them. For me, a sign of intelligence is a willingness to learn.
 
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True story..My ex boyfriend was an intellectual and his entire family was a bunch of intellectuals as well.
Fact about me, I have a horrible memory and don't remember half the facts I have read or heard about.

Well...during dinner, his entire family was discussing current world events and then got into a heated debate on some scientific theory.
It was really interesting hearing all of their discussions. Welllll...eventually his mother makes everyone shut up and asks me:

"So what are YOUR views on this *insert very scientific subject that i know NOTHING about*"

Me: Oh..well...I'm really enjoying listening to you all, I can't really chime in since I don't know much about the subject

Them: Well you should keep yourself informed so that you can actually participate in our conversations

Me: I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that I needed to study before coming over for dinner

*bites lip*

I think they MIGHT of had a huge problem with me having a lower IQ than them ;)

Honestly, I like when my partner knows more than I do because I'm too lazy to do all the fact finding research myself and rather rely on them to give me the summary...because knowledge is important and fascinating to me...I'm just really not really good at remembering specific facts to use in arguments. Hence the need for a fact rich partner lol
 
I've always been more attracted to men who are very intelligent. To me, it's more important than looks. I would not be attracted to someone who didn't challenge or fascinate me. I wouldn't say I'm smarter than anyone.. but I have friends who don't really challenge me intellectually and we click on different levels and it works... Not the case romantically though.
 
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There's a misspelling with "intelligence" in the thread title...

Such delicious irony!

View attachment 32986
I've always been an impatient speller... but you can understand what it says, so it'll stay as it is. My Android auto-correct won't engage on thread titles... I don't know if that's something for the forum suggestions/feedback.

I almost started a thread this week titled "The Burden of Poof" (missing r).
 
I've always been more attracted to men who are very intelligent. To me, it's more important than looks. I would not be attracted to someone who didn't challenge or fascinate me. I wouldn't say I'm smarter than anyone.. but I have friends who don't really challenge me intellectually and we click on different levels and it works... Not the case romantically though.

Yes, all of this.

Looks are secondary. Intelligence is hot.
 
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It's a slightly personal question, so a non-reply won't give me hiccups:

From some of the replies here I get the impression that a negative attitude to higher IQ people is not uncommon. Was that a contributing factor to it not working for you in your former relationship?

IQ had nothing to do with it....or everything. I never thought about it in such terms.
My first husband was a wonderful man....but just did not Think. Know what I mean?

From my experiences with the many types I've interacted with over the years the Introverts are adepts at considering the many facets...the many sides of any situation. We often get side tracked into being hard headed thinking since we "covered" the many sides of a situation that we know the best way to view it. Yet at least we give consideration to other points of view.

We also give consideration to possible failures down the line to choices we make whereas many many other people do not. Let's face it...we are masters at projecting possibilities...especially if we listen to our intuition.

My 1st husband never did any of that kind of Thinking....and lord was there chaos in my life.

As for the idea of IQ...
I participated in a research study in college where the Researcher was testing for barriers to diverse cultures of peoples taking the test. She was theorizing the test was geared? suited for? written for? primarily Caucasians educated in the US public school system. Even though I tested pretty high I agree with her theories there are barriers in place for all others not educated through the System.
For example: I was a child growing up when telephones were first brought to our rural area and we memorized our phone numbers in a vocal syncopated manner. During the test the Researcher made a point of calling out numbers for me to recall and recite back to her in various patterns including the way we all memorized our phone numbers as children. Sure enough - I recalled numbers better when she stated them out loud in the phone number way. Basically demonstrating that middle class white children growing up in the early 60's had an advantage over poor children who did not receive phones in their homes during the same time within the same generation.

Therefore I don't hold a lot of weight on the idea of IQ. Some of the most educated people I know are also the most ignorant of essentials to living a full and joy filled life.

All I know is that I needed a partner who could Think to go the long haul with me.
 
The smartest person in a room can recognize the gifts and talents of others, as well as themelves. If we focus only on how superior we are, we can lose out on learning from others.

Who brought up superiority save for the idealistic moral crusaders?

Obviously, there are different levels of "intelligence" , but the measurement is IQ, in this instance, not EQ.

So I don't expect you EQers to be able to relate... with all the emotional frivolities accounted for.

Invisible: "Its laughable for somebody to think they are the smartest in a room"

Ti thinker: "got anything objective to back that subjectivity with?!"

If not then youre opinion is invalid because its backed by naught but your own biases.
 
Who brought up superiority save for the idealistic moral crusaders?

Obviously, there are different levels of "intelligence" , but the measurement is IQ, in this instance, not EQ.

So I don't expect you EQers to be able to relate... with all the emotional frivolities accounted for.

Invisible: "Its laughable for somebody to think they are the smartest in a room"

Ti thinker: "got anything objective to back that subjectivity with?!"

If not then youre opinion is invalid because its backed by naught but your own biases.
I'm tempted to start a spoof thread asking the questions people have projected onto this thread.

Eg:
* At what point is someone dumb enough, that you don't have to treat them as human?
* Should high IQ individuals have special rights and benefits, to protect them from having their time wasted by stupid people?
* Should dumb people be allowed to speak in public?
* Should high IQ individuals be greeted with a profound bow, to acknowledge their superiority?
:p
 
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*wonders how many of my questions Gist is going to ignore*
 
Compatibility, growth, attraction, etc. Relationships are multi-faceted. I've always based mine on 'do I like them, can we communicate, do we fight nice, are we on the same level'...

Food-for-thought: IQ EQ SQ

Spiritual quotient
Page issues
[1]

We have all heard about the importance of Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and Emotional Quotient (EQ). However, The concept of Spiritual Quotient (SQ) is fast emerging as the next big aspect of scientific study as it directly correlates to a person's awareness and consciousness.

Human beings have five senses. Sight (ophthalmoception), hearing (audioception), taste (gustaoception), smell (olfacoception or olfacception), and touch (tactioception) are the five traditionally recognized senses. Spiritual Quotient is the mental faculty which enables us to break out of the limitations that are inherent traits of IQ and EQ. We can increase our Spiritual Quotient through: awareness (also known as mindfulness), contemplation (self enquiry), and prayer (dedication).

Given below are just three of the many aspects that setting ourselves on a spiritual course entails.

1. Responsibility : What all in this world are we responsible for? Ourselves? Family? Society? Country? Earth? Universe? Can answer to any of these questions be ‘no’?

Implication : Answer to this question helps define the personal vision of each individual. It helps one to intertwine one's personal vision with the larger good of humanity.

2. Humility : We are just a speck in this existence. Consider this. There are over 7 billion inhabitants on earth, and we are just a few of them. Earth is just one of the innumerable heavenly bodies in the universe. The universe in itself is billions of years old. The 70 odd years that we will spend on earth is minuscule in this scheme of things. So, how significant is our existence?

Implication : We, human beings, carry big egos, and want to feel all important. We tend to demand, and not command respect. Have we realised if we, after all, are that important? Will our arrogance or our humility make us a better leader?

3. Happiness : Human race has progressed on the back of innovation. The level of comfort enjoyed by the current generation is probably the highest ever. But can we say that we are the happiest generation that ever lived on the planet? There has been a conscious and mammoth effort to set right the outside world. But how much time have we given for our inner well being?

Implication : A long and healthy life is important for any individual. Ill-health can either halt one's progress or, even if one succeeds, result in the ‘gifts’ of a heart disease, blood pressure or diabetes. A happy individual also builds a happy family and society.

Spiritual Quotient therefore is the ability of an individual to see his personal vision and the ensuing endeavour to achieve the same through the prism of the larger good to the society, bringing good health and happiness to himself and the world at large.

The question that might come to mind after reading the above is – why do we need to be spiritual to realise these fairly straightforward implications? The answer is simple too – unless we set apart time in our daily (busy) schedule to make steady progress in our spiritual journey, we will not get time to even think about these issues. Spirituality brings depth to an individual's approach and perspective towards leading a more meaningful life.





Contents



Comparison between SQ, EQ and IQEdit

New tools for measuring the brain show that SQ is accomplished in a completely different way than IQ and EQ thinking. However, to be most efficiently productive at the creative, mental and cognitive level we need the perfect combination of SQ, EQ and IQ in harmonic synchronization.[2] But first let us look at these different mental processes.

IQ: With reference to the study of Intelligence Quotient, it is seen that the neurons in the brain line up in a definite sequence.It is how we are able to repeatedly do logical things like multiply big numbers together, do accounts, analyse data or undertake a research program. We learn the sequence so we can be logical, rational and precise.The great thing about IQ is that it is measurable and it not only changes with time but is also a function of time.[3] So we can hand out university qualifications on evidence of IQ, or lay out procedures in organisations that tend to give tried and true results or solve problems in the fastest possible manner which will serve as a direct evidence of high IQ.[4] For example, the process of identifying and justifying the appointment of the right person, or a banker’s decision on the right investment are designed for IQ thinking.However it is often too risky to rely too heavily on IQ thinking. IQ is bound by the process, it stifles creativity and innovation, takes no account of the decision maker’s experience, reduces intrinsic motivation, is slow, bureaucratic, non-strategic and reduces staff confidence to use their judgement and intuition to make decisions.A famous study by Agor in the 1980s asked CEOs of companies that crashed how they got it so badly wrong. Most responded that they knew their decisions were faulty, but they felt they needed to accept the rational analysis rather than their own judgment.[5][6]

EQ: The study of Emotional Quotient mainly shows us that this type of faculty is derived and developed from experience [7] In the brain, pathways form in a bundle of up to 100,000 neurons as we experience things. It’s like the way the setters in New Zealand formed tracks through the bush, many tracks disappeared while the most used ones turned into tar sealed highways. EQ is how we get to acquire skills, understand ourselves, and tune in to other people. Some attempts to measure these qualities have suggested that EQ skills are four times as important as IQ skills by age 40 to determine success in life.We grow EQ with abundant experiences. The limitation of EQ is that it is bound by our experiences.

SQ: As previously mentioned, Spiritual Quotient is the mental faculty which enables us to break out of the limitations that are inherent traits of IQ and EQ. It is better understood if we study the brain in analogy to an LC-coupled oscillation radio circuit, where at specific frequencies we can tune into a particular FM channel. Similarly scientific study of the brain tells us that, when brain cells oscillate at a shared slow frequency such as when we are heading off to sleep, waking up, musing, meditating, mindlessly in the shower, or jogging. These ideas are then linked with a 40 Hz ripple across the brain! It’s like communicating with short wave radios. What scientists are yet to discover are what is being linked and how. The links may be inside the brain pulling together diverse thoughts in a coherent whole. Or they may be linking to universal signs of wisdom such as Carl Jung's Collective Unconscious.[8] This idea evolves out of the Bohm interpretation of quantum physics that at the quantum level most entirely string theory along with the big bang theory everything is interconnected, and all information is held holographically - so the very smallest quantum of energy contains all of the information held in the universe.[9][10] However, from a practical viewpoint, it doesn’t matter how it is being linked, any more than we need to understand electricity to turn on the light switch, or screwing in a lightbuld. We know that the more we use SQ thinking the better we are at it. The brain stores billions of ideas, as well as IQ and EQ learning that has been built up - most of which we are completely unaware of. The brain’s capacity to make sense of all this data with SQ thinking greatly exceeds the most powerful computer. The challenge is that EQ and SQ are hard to measure on a regular standardized basis so they gain little respect in society compared to IQ. And once they see it's linked to unwavering concentration people will surely ah-hear more about SQ.


QuotationsEdit

"The authors who have already begun dishing out books by the dozen on the subject of Spiritual Quotient contend that it is only SQ that set humans apart from both machines and animals. According to them SQ is about compassion and creativity, self-awareness and self-esteem, flexibility and gratitude. Thus what were once espoused by the great philosophers of the likes of Swami Vivekananda are once again being exhorted by the modern day corporate world."[11][citation needed]


Further readingEdit

http://amansharma5.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/spiritual-quotient-and-leadership-2/
 
I can hang out with people of almost any IQ, the lower though the faster I become bored. Intelligence is very important though. People I hang out with don't have to process ideas at inhuman speeds but do need to be able to see an over all idea over time without necessarily being led to it.
What I really love are those people of lesser intelligence thinking they are intelligent just because the more intelligent people aren't going around and telling people how intelligent they are or talking themselves up.
You should be able to see intelligence in a person's actions pretty quickly if you are observant and intelligent yourself.

I've mentioned before a person with a kind heart can really stop me in my tracks when it comes to relationships but kindness has to be tempered with intelligence. You can't have someone fight to get everyone healthcare but have no workable plan to make it happen.
 
I've always been an impatient speller... but you can understand what it says, so it'll stay as it is. My Android auto-correct won't engage on thread titles... I don't know if that's something for the forum suggestions/feedback.

I almost started a thread this week titled "The Burden of Poof" (missing r).
You can't become me! I am the only me, stop copying.