Sounds like heaven to me. Maybe. I'm just thinking about the wine. I may regret this.
Inteligence/IQ Differences in Relationships
- Thread starter Flavus Aquila
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- Sep 28, 2008
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Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I tend to separate love from these types of things entirely. Someone doesn't have to be an intellectual and/or particularly academically smart at all to be a loved one, meaning I don't have to be able to talk about my ideas with them, although I might ramble about it to them just for fun sometimes. Nor does it matter to me if someone is more intelligent, IF intellectualism isn't the basis of the relationship to him/her either...and honestly I think I'd have a hard time getting on with someone who wants to make it the basis (even if I were the more intelligent one....because I'm not sure what it has anything to do with our friendship).
I also have a hard time "esteeming" people for intelligence because a) it's pretty multifaceted/confusing to define (yes there are correlations among the facets, but that doesn't imply any kind of robust equality -- let's be clear Einstein was probably more talented in some aspects of intelligence than others, William Faulkner in other aspects, and so on)
b) At some point, I can always find someone roughly more or roughly less intelligent by some reasonable definition of intelligence, so really the way I look at it, this doesn't matter much, what we (read: I) love is good ideas, not the fact that someone is intelligent or not. Someone who is somewhat less intelligent but brought a beautiful idea into the world effectively renders being less intelligent mostly irrelevant, because again, I really don't care about the intelligence, I care about the good idea. Good ideas give us something to chew on, something to do, when we're bored and just want our passions kindled.
I also have a hard time "esteeming" people for intelligence because a) it's pretty multifaceted/confusing to define (yes there are correlations among the facets, but that doesn't imply any kind of robust equality -- let's be clear Einstein was probably more talented in some aspects of intelligence than others, William Faulkner in other aspects, and so on)
b) At some point, I can always find someone roughly more or roughly less intelligent by some reasonable definition of intelligence, so really the way I look at it, this doesn't matter much, what we (read: I) love is good ideas, not the fact that someone is intelligent or not. Someone who is somewhat less intelligent but brought a beautiful idea into the world effectively renders being less intelligent mostly irrelevant, because again, I really don't care about the intelligence, I care about the good idea. Good ideas give us something to chew on, something to do, when we're bored and just want our passions kindled.
I guess it's worth noting as addition that I'm actually a case where literally my only significant hobby is thinking. I don't really do anything else (besides talk to those I care about, that is -- so what I mean is I have no other hobby-like interests).
So the fact that I really don't care about intellect in my loved ones might be strange, but it's basically because from my perspective, even if someone did have significant knowledge to offer me, it doesn't offer me more to care about on a human level, etc. It just offers me another equivalent of a book or research paper or manuscript! It almost doesn't matter that this is a person, it's just a source of information to feed my hunger/give me something to do.
If that were all I were after, I wouldn't probably interact with people except at a minimum.
There are simple moments of caring that really have nothing to do with such lofty things that can be prized above all else, and that's really to me the only reason to interact with people at all. Otherwise, I have my thoughts and that's sufficient!
The problem with this is that I suppose it means the only people who can befriend me closely need to be OK with a sort of "boring" relationship. My thoughts might be interesting (even that's a stretch, they interest ME, but who knows if they're interesting to anyone else), but they're totally detached and not really about the relationship at all. I'm also really scattered, interested in a zillion interconnected things and bouncing from thing to thing, and that too, it has to be what strikes my fancy at the moment. So it's unlikely I'd get this from a stable friendship even if I were interested in mixing my intellectual side and my relationships.
So the fact that I really don't care about intellect in my loved ones might be strange, but it's basically because from my perspective, even if someone did have significant knowledge to offer me, it doesn't offer me more to care about on a human level, etc. It just offers me another equivalent of a book or research paper or manuscript! It almost doesn't matter that this is a person, it's just a source of information to feed my hunger/give me something to do.
If that were all I were after, I wouldn't probably interact with people except at a minimum.
There are simple moments of caring that really have nothing to do with such lofty things that can be prized above all else, and that's really to me the only reason to interact with people at all. Otherwise, I have my thoughts and that's sufficient!
The problem with this is that I suppose it means the only people who can befriend me closely need to be OK with a sort of "boring" relationship. My thoughts might be interesting (even that's a stretch, they interest ME, but who knows if they're interesting to anyone else), but they're totally detached and not really about the relationship at all. I'm also really scattered, interested in a zillion interconnected things and bouncing from thing to thing, and that too, it has to be what strikes my fancy at the moment. So it's unlikely I'd get this from a stable friendship even if I were interested in mixing my intellectual side and my relationships.
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I have not found some one who I would is more intelligent than me. This is not saying I am the smartest man on the planet...but i view intellect in a different way.
If someone know something that I dont....they are not smarter. They simply have learned or memorized something I have not studied. If I had studied I would have the same knowledge.
in this regard no one can be smarter than me because I have a desire to learn so they are not smarter they simply have studied.
I would say that in general I find very few people that I can share my ideas with, I am very patient but I usually will feel misunderstood so I don't wanna share my theories or views. in this way I guess I can see people as being less "intelligent" in that they cant keep up, or lack the ability to think in abstract terms.
If someone know something that I dont....they are not smarter. They simply have learned or memorized something I have not studied. If I had studied I would have the same knowledge.
in this regard no one can be smarter than me because I have a desire to learn so they are not smarter they simply have studied.
I would say that in general I find very few people that I can share my ideas with, I am very patient but I usually will feel misunderstood so I don't wanna share my theories or views. in this way I guess I can see people as being less "intelligent" in that they cant keep up, or lack the ability to think in abstract terms.
Being an introvert intuitive can make it difficult to find people who can understand our abstract thoughts. Moreover, you're right, that knowledge is not the same as intelligence, so while some people may understand what you're saying, they can't keep up in a conversation and either make silly comments, or just keep asking for explanations. (Neither of those things is entirely a bad thing, but it isn't a substitute for an enthralling conversation).
Welcome to the forum, by the way. I think it might be a pleasant surprise for you to start sharing your thoughts/concepts here. There's lots of very clever people on this site.
"Intelligence" is a hard word to define. At first, when I read your post @Flavus Aquila, I felt uncomfortable. Why should we put people in such boxes?
Indeed, as you mentioned, people usually call "intelligent" someone who's in fact "cultivated". Knowledge and intelligence are two different things. It's easier to measure the first, though. Intelligence is something extremely confusing. I would personally say it reflects the abilities of a person to adapt to change.
In this thread, the definition you seem to be giving to the concept of "intelligence" is the time someone's brain takes to process information. I don't think that's intelligence, although I see what you mean. Someone who takes long time to process what you're saying, and who can't really reply and add things to the conversation, is not necessarily a person who's lacking intelligence. What I'm trying to say is that some people have amazing capacities of adaptation, but they aren't speakers. It costs them to put their thoughts into words. Therefore, in my opinion, you can't measure the intelligence of people through what they say (or don't say). The cognitive processes of language are just one aspect of what could be intelligence. Plus, language can be affected by many things, on a psychopathological aspect.
I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense, ha... because I, myself have difficulties to put my thoughts into words (it's also the case in my native language)
Anyways, I have all kinds of acquaintances. I don't really pay attention to the things you're saying as I consider we all are human beings and therefore, we are all equals. We're all struggling, without rules, trying our best to be, to live, without having the slightest idea of the reasons why we're here and why we're doing it. That is why every person on this planet deserves respect, whether you call them "intelligent" or not.
/Thread.
To add, if one were to initially try to understand intelligence, look into the fundamental traits of the animal kingdom at large.
It may or may not be related to IQ but those I am close to need to be able to piece things together. The faster the better but so long as they are at least making progress I can look past other issues.
For myself, if there is a discussion the other person needs to be able to tell me how they came to their conclusion. "I feel" this or that doesn't work for me. There needs to be a logical progression of thought that in the end even if the end conclusion is different from mine, can still fit in place and function.
For myself, if there is a discussion the other person needs to be able to tell me how they came to their conclusion. "I feel" this or that doesn't work for me. There needs to be a logical progression of thought that in the end even if the end conclusion is different from mine, can still fit in place and function.