1) That song by OMAM sums this up for me: "i move slow and steady but I feel like a waterfall." On the outside, I am always collected. I never say things i don't thoroughly think through. Sometimes my explanations when extraverting can get quite lengthy and wordy, almost circumambulating, when asked a question I want to answer but was asked quite on the spot. More often than not, especially in very emotional issues, i have already evaluated and re evaluated my point of view that by the time we talk, i am direct to the point, frank, and seemingly unemotional. Make no mistake to assume I don't feel anything however because preceding such moments, you or the thought in general has been obsessed over and over so much that it manifests in my dreams. What you see will never be what you get with me, unless I allow it.
I process technical information the same way I process my emotions. I always look for real life applications. I strictly adhere to facts. I always review all options and all potential consequences of each fact. Context is everything. If a technical information that I learn isn't interpreted such that I can see its broader or deeper impact, i will lose interest. If it's interesting enough, I will obsess over it. I will validate and cross check multiple sources, arguments, angles. I will stay quiet until i'm sure of my interpretations.
This poses a problem for me because some people, especially people who are already within my circles think I don't care enough. I do but the fact that you're already in my inner circle means by now you probably already know that I can have a very cold, somewhat apathetic, slightly evil side which I no longer hesitate to show with you because I know you accept me and love me regardless. I can get pretty clingy and needy with those in my inner circles, especially when my emotions are intensifying. When i'm beginning to look like a mess to you, that means I love you dearly enough to trust my true, spaced out,absent minded self with you. That also means i'm outwardly processing with you. I trust you with my life. If I shut you off, that only means you hurt me or you make me incredibly angry. Or both. If I don't care enough for you, I will always be warm to you. I am always nice to everybody. I don't care if you hurt me or abuse me because I don't care for you. But don't make the mistake of showing you're good for nothing and abusive of others, and especially people I care about or I will burn your soul. I will hurt you and I don't care if my soul burns alongside yours. I will not only intellectually torment you but I will make sure your deepest emotional fears will haunt you but you will never know it was me that's deliberately causing it nor will you know what hit you.
But if you're decent enough and you prove yourself remorseful, I will get off your back and probably help you heal if I like you enough or if i think you're worth it. I can be very selfless and martyr if I think you deserve it.
2) I cry for movies and art but only that which I personally relate to. For example, Grave of the Fireflies is a pretty sad movie as well as The Boy in Striped Pajamas, but I don't cry. Sometimes if it's good enough, it will set me off to an activist tirade. I fight for my values and I don't back down. I always load up my intellectual arsenal. Again, I will use your emotions to win my war. Not my battles. My war.
When a movie hits the notes for me, no matter how tacky it is, I will bawl my eyes out so badly that I'd need sunglasses for when I get out of the cinema. Under the Tuscan Sun and Cooper's A Star is Born for example are okay movies but because it's personal to me, i always end up wailing.