[INFJ] - infjs confuse the hell out of me! | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] infjs confuse the hell out of me!

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by chad, Apr 2, 2019.

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  1. chad

    chad Regular Poster

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    ok here is my main problem with understanding infjs
    its the fe-ti axis which is supposed to be warm on the outside but cold on the inside.

    so 1) does that mean you infjs have no emotion internaly?
    2) do you ever cry for sad movies? or songs or art ect?

    please answer the questions honestly, and not what makes a good answer, but how as an infj you experience theres things?
     
  2. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    This is it in a nutshell.
    [​IMG]
    No two INFJ's are alike.
    1) INFJ is a pitcher of emotion internally
    2) I do not cry often.
    3) This INFJ is no good at planning emotions, only monitoring them ;)
     
  3. Gadsden Mountain Ranch

    Gadsden Mountain Ranch Community Member

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    ^^ What Sandie33 said.

    I am very warm on the outside. I'm always doing something to help another person. Always. Even on my worst of days. I don't get much in return. $12 in tips this last 2 days.

    Cold on the inside? Not really.
    I may come off as such to the masses. Really, I think INFJs as a whole see the world differently, and react as such.

    We have the ability to look at Large scale issues both emotionally and cognitively. i.e. the border issue, wars, drugs. Things like that.

    We are protectors of what we love. We will fight to the death to protect those views.

    And while most people see things very black and white, open and shut, an INFJ like myself sees every angle. We analyze every issue, to a tee

    Was this post confusing? If so, this is how I feel just looking at every angle of an issue :p
     
    #3 Gadsden Mountain Ranch, Apr 2, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2019
  4. Jeffrei

    Jeffrei Regular Poster

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    1. It’s not that we don’t have emotions, it’s just that we are usually unaware/detached from them. We are usually more aware of other’s emotions (to the point of “feeling” them ourselves). If we are or aren’t actually feeling them, I have not a clue, but it sure feels like we feel them.

    2. I’m a dude. Dudes don’t cry :p
    Just kidding. There are many movie, music, and game moments that pluck at my heart strings in such a way.
     
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  5. Reverist

    Reverist Community Member

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    1) Yes, we have internal emotions, but since Fi is in our shadow, we don't readily know how we feel about things. I can understand what others feel quite easily, and I almost instantly know what I think, but how I feel on a personal level is buried deeper, and it can take some pondering to fully understand...if ever. Also, we tend to take a critical view of our selves and our feelings because Fi is the critical parent of our unconscious mind. Fe is the parent function of our conscious mind and it acts responsibly. So while it is easier for us to know what others are feeling, we are more likely to respond in a way we think is responsible. I think this may be in part why INFJs can appear warm at certain times, and cold at other times.

    2) Yeah, I am probably more likely to cry at a movie or tv show than in real life. That doesn't mean I never cry in real life, I do, but I usually find myself more detached from my own emotions.
     
  6. MoonFlier

    MoonFlier Permanent Fixture

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    I'm not the best INFJ to be answering this as I'm 50/50 between F and T...

    I feel that I'm pretty cold to people on the outside. I've been rejected and judged far too much to bother with being nice sort of thing, but then I'm ultra polite and always worried about being accepted. You can talk with me, and I'll listen to an extent -- what I'm doing is breaking down what you say into a story that makes sense in my mind, one I can feel and relate to. One I can decide to or not to pick up the cause for. If I choose to feel for you, I'll be your best friend for life, or until you wear me out or burn me and I door slam you.

    So, that was the long way of saying, I'm both cold and warm inside and out.
     
  7. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    Sounds very INFJ to me
     
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  8. MoonFlier

    MoonFlier Permanent Fixture

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    Yup. But I also want graphs and stats to support my view. :D
     
  9. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    I love graphs and stats ^_^ not a fan of algebra tho hehe
     
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  10. Ren

    Ren Pin's android and co-founder of Stoic Café

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    Hey I'm not cold! :p
     
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  11. MoonFlier

    MoonFlier Permanent Fixture

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    There's a good chance it's all in the eyes. I know when I smile while people talk to me, they perceive me as friendly (however, I feel like an idiot when I do so). But when I put my rbf on they think I'm judging them. Couldn't be further from the truth. I don't judge people, but rather I'm an analyst. That stare either means my brain is working on what you're saying or that I'm pondering what garbage has been left on the moon and how to clean it up... maybe a moon base recycling facility is in order. Sorry, you were talking?
     
    #11 MoonFlier, Apr 29, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2019
  12. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    1. We have emotion internally. I don't think my emotions are as cut and dry as people with Fi high up their stack. I can have an... almost indifference... about myself and my feelings, or I'll "examine" them.
    I rarely feel a gushing, emotional certainty.

    2. I don't cry easily, but I do cry. I am a feeler! When I cry it isn't usually over my emotions or about me. I pick up on other people's emotions very easily. I get sad for others.
    Heartbreak hits me hard. I'm so deeply invested in whomever I give my heart to that romance problems can crush me.

    I'm not necessarily "warm" on the outside, either. I'm shy, introverted, and stuck in my head, which doesn't translate to "warm".
    I try to be helpful and I try to make others feel comfortable and liked. Again, I may feel very uncomfortable acting extroverted, but if it helps the other person I'm fine with that. Well, mostly fine with it... if the people are negative or anxious I do read that on them, which makes it harder to be cheery. People often think I'm extroverted and "nice" in person and then get confused when I disappear to recharge.
    I can also have a "poker face", though.
    Fe is also secondary to us, so we are not ruled by emotion. We are ruled by Ni. From my experience Ni is pretty hard to relate to for a lot of people. I can absolutely tell a difference between fun, sunshiny Fe dominance and Introverted Intuition dominance.

    I have gotten teary eyed over seeing very rare, famous, and beloved artwork in person, and I cry from a movie once in a while, but not out of habit.


    The biggest problem I've had with other people not understanding me is that they think they figure me out or understand me, and then later realize I don't fit the categorization they chose.
     
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  13. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    I can relate to this. ♡ For me, they usually judge at this point that I fooled them or lied in some way, whereas I'm usually feeling I met and acclimated to who they had shown to me. If that makes sense.
     
  14. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    @Sandie33 - Sometimes I get the "you are a liar" reaction, but it is more often a reaction of frustration, like failing to solve a puzzle they thought they already solved.
     
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  15. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    lulz stop being so infj
    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Welcome to the 2019 Chicken Sandwich War

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    Super true!

    Because of this

     
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  17. Daustus

    Daustus Meatbot

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    I'll throw in my 2 cents which is very similar to what others have posted.

    I'm both cold and warm with about 3 settings. Most people get luke warm, polite, "nice" version of me and this means I recognize you as a fellow human being. People I like get a very warm, funny, weird, extremely open friend that always helps out and follows thru. I'm caring, supportive and disarmingly honest. People I dislike get a civil, robotic experience. I don't smile at you, I don't ask you personal questions, and I probably avoid contact with you.

    I would say I'm always feeling something but it's usually the social situation, work environment, or external emotions being projected to me. I'm honestly better sorting out other peoples emotions and what they are dealing with than my own. Im usually thinking about my emotional state in a very detached, clinical observation manner when I actually take time to process how I'm feeling.

    I think I cry more than most guys I know. I have noticed that I do tend to cry over art the most (film, music, books) when the piece evokes an strong emotional trigger that I personally relate with. I cry like a baby at the movie About Time. I don't really have control over those strong emotions. When they hit I feel it intensely and ride it out.

    People are often confused by me. I think I show up as inconsistent or not genuinely the same with every one. I have noticed that I tend to mirror those around me. If I'm with a quiet introvert i will match their energy, and around loud extroverts I'll jump in and play loud with them. To me this resembles something like my superpower is understanding and feeling other people, but I can lose my sense of self if I don't have boundaries. It's kinda like Rogue from the XMen. I absorb other people but if I absorb too much for too long I start to resemble them and lose myself.
     
    #17 Daustus, Apr 30, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2019
  18. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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  19. AmeyT18

    AmeyT18 Regular Poster

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    Being an Indian I can say that there are always some fake saints in our society just ti exploit people.
    P. S.- I haven't read about the man you mentioned.
     
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  20. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    I confuse the hell out of myself, so this thread makes sense
     
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