INFJs and feelings of being alone, different, disconnected or lost
- Thread starter hoodbran
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Not really I am very eloquent when I get a chance to think things out, and want to spend time to think things out, which is probably not the best thing to write right now becuase generally questions like that seem to long to make a connection. ^_^ Anyway I think I get what you said on clumsyness. I am a clumsy with friendships. When my friends have cut out contact for too long I get peranoid. Often times inside I know they are caring though. It doens't help to have friends who can feed into the paranoia though
I think this quote fits in pretty well right here.
"There is no insurmountable solitude. All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are. And we must pass through solitude and difficulty, isolation and silence in order to reach forth to the enchanted place where we can dance our clumsy dance and sing our sorrowful song."
-- Pablo Neruda
"There is no insurmountable solitude. All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are. And we must pass through solitude and difficulty, isolation and silence in order to reach forth to the enchanted place where we can dance our clumsy dance and sing our sorrowful song."
-- Pablo Neruda
hmmm...that's something to thing about, thanks for sharing sumone.
I try to take my time to answer as well, to express precisely what I want to say very clearly. However, sometimes I'm not very good at it, and it takes longer than I want it to. I often fear that the person who is waiting for an answer will not wait that long. As a child, and at various jobs as an adult, I have often been reprimanded for actually taking the time to answer accurately. What I think and what I feel about something usually takes the longest, since it's typically the last thing I've paid attention to in the past. As a result, I often give a sort of knee-jerk response, such as automatically saying, "no" to a request, or even unintentionally betraying my true self in conversation simply because I was afraid to take the time to think my answer out like I needed to.
Other times, there is just *so much* going on around me that I feel like I can't think. I am a single parent of a young child, so quiet really isn't present in my life... In a lot of ways, I am oblivious to my surroundings, I can't navigate my own living room without saying, "how long has that chair been there? Why is it tripping me?". Often, things that are right in front of me completely slip by my (read: lack of) radar. However, I can't tune out my own child, and I wouldn't want to. It's hard to think when you're over-stimulated. Unfortunately, between her and work, I often am.
As far as others go, I have very little room in my life (for obvious reasons), and really can't afford to make mistakes when it comes to judgment of other people's character. I haven't found very many people that I feel comfortable opening up to in any sense of the word, and I've ended up maybe a bit isolated as a result. Besides, the small amount of time that I do have is usually reserved for my daughter, though I do take a little for myself to relax & recharge (that happens best when I'm alone, as much as I love them, other people are tiring).
Sorry for the lengthy rant about things I'd willingly bet no one wants to hear about.
Here is a link to a blog that talks about some of that clumsiness we were talking about.
HSP Blog
I also edit everything I post 16 times, lol
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I can relate to that.
I think why INFJ's feel alone is because deliberately or subconsciously we want to be alone. It gives us time to introspect, and we thrive on introspection. The feeling of being alone has become sort of 'routine'. We don't like being alone but do we a have a choice really? Maybe it's the fear of letting someone down or being let down. I don't know just spitballing here..
I had a perfect response which was perfectly worded to convey exactly the intended message, and my damned keyboard ate it. I think I hate hotkeys. All they've ever done for me is delete my stuff. I will come back and attempt to reformulate my thoughts... However, at the moment, there is a small child getting grumpy.
Yeahh, my differentness means I'm like unique in a good way, but then it also means that I struggle for certain joys that are so readily available to other people.
I do feel disconnected sometimes, but I like being alone alone.
But yeah, being alone in a room full of cliques blooows. D:
I do feel disconnected sometimes, but I like being alone alone.
But yeah, being alone in a room full of cliques blooows. D:
Often. It is one reason I began writing in verse... in order to translate my emotions into verbal images instead of explanations.
It really does. Sorry you feel like that.
I totally hear that... I spoke only in metaphors for a while when I was a teenager. Some people didn't really like that...lol
But, yeah, it enables you to give greater clarity and I find that constantly playing with language like that, creating strange metaphors that people get, or painting a picture with words makes it easier later, when you have to "translate" thoughts for someone who doesn't work the same way...
Anyway, I get what you're saying... sorry about the rant...
Did anyone almost get a sense that there was something "wrong" with them? I always understood myself to be different than others, and after a while it seemed like no one else really felt this, and I was worried that I had some sort of personality disorder or something for a while
I have thought for a long time that there was something wrong with me.
All the people I hang out with at school only do small-talk.
Sometimes they ask me why I'm not saying anything, but I just have nothing I want to say to them. I feel like an outsider every time I
All the people I hang out with at school only do small-talk.
Sometimes they ask me why I'm not saying anything, but I just have nothing I want to say to them. I feel like an outsider every time I
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