INFJs and borderline personality disorder | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

INFJs and borderline personality disorder

Hi Jessie, I'm also soothed by the same things, lol. I've actually just very recently been re-diagnosed with high functioning autism by a psychiatrist who specializes in autism. He says he thinks Borderline PD is simply something invented by the medical "professionals" to describe a set of behaviors they don't yet understand. He said I do have symptoms of it and also Bipolar Disorder BUT, I am actually autistic and likely developed BPD as a result of struggling with undiagnosed autism.

I've done a lot of research and I think Borderline PD is either part of the Bipolar Spectrum (this is controversial in the medical community) OR it is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this would be particularly true for those that grew up in abusive environments, OR the person with BPD actually has something else entirely, OR they are merely an extremely sensitive person with a rare personality type who severely struggles in this rat race aggressive society which is designed by and for hard nosed driven extroverts.

These are just my theories of course. There are people diagnosed with BPD who fit Psychopathy/Sociopathy much better and are dangerous manipulative individuals, it is very unfortunate that the highly sensitives who wouldn't hurt a fly are lumped in with these types. BPD is a terrible label to have on you, it is a trash can diagnosis.....it basically means that you have vague symptoms of anxiety, abandonment issues, manipulative behaviors, you self harm and are a pain in the butt (that's how they see you)

I only fit some of it as I have never cut myself, I don't stay in a relationship at any cost.......geeezzzz, it's YEARS between relationships for me and I've hardly had any! I am however, sensitive to an uncanny and painful degree. Psychiatry is still in it's infancy and in 5 years time we know so much more.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Chasuki and RonjaRaeubertochter
Ethereal said:
Hi Jessie, I'm also soothed by the same things, lol. I've actually just very recently been re-diagnosed with high functioning autism by a psychiatrist who specializes in autism. He says he thinks Borderline PD is simply something invented by the medical "professionals" to describe a set of behaviors they don't yet understand. He said I do have symptoms of it and also Bipolar Disorder BUT, I am actually autistic and likely developed BPD as a result of struggling with undiagnosed autism.

I've done a lot of research and I think Borderline PD is either part of the Bipolar Spectrum (this is controversial in the medical community) OR it is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this would be particularly true for those that grew up in abusive environments, OR the person with BPD actually has something else entirely, OR they are merely an extremely sensitive person with a rare personality type who severely struggles in this rat race aggressive society which is designed by and for hard nosed driven extroverts.

These are just my theories of course. There are people diagnosed with BPD who fit Psychopathy/Sociopathy much better and are dangerous manipulative individuals, it is very unfortunate that the highly sensitives who wouldn't hurt a fly are lumped in with these types. BPD is a terrible label to have on you, it is a trash can diagnosis.....it basically means that you have vague symptoms of anxiety, abandonment issues, manipulative behaviors, you self harm and are a pain in the butt (that's how they see you)

I only fit some of it as I have never cut myself, I don't stay in a relationship at any cost.......geeezzzz, it's YEARS between relationships for me and I've hardly had any! I am however, sensitive to an uncanny and painful degree. Psychiatry is still in it's infancy and in 5 years time we know so much more.
Click to expand...

I tend to agree with somewhere on the bipolar spectrum, and a rapid cycling one, at that.

I think the reason they're considered different disorders is because people with Bipolar disorder tend to respond to medication more than folks with Borderline.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RonjaRaeubertochter
Lordy BPD, Lordy.


I was diagnosed with bipolar, turns out the dr was wrong.


Some bitchy people don't have bpd, they're just bitchy.*



*Yes I understand this is a very serious and widespread disorder, nor am I discounting anyone here. I have ADHD and everyday people tell me its a made up disorder hah. So I know both sides of the railroad tracks. Some hyper people will claim adhd, and some bitchy people will claim bpd, instead of a more accurate depiction: depressed self absorbed esfp disorder.
 
CorLeonis said:
I tend to agree with somewhere on the bipolar spectrum, and a rapid cycling one, at that.

I think the reason they're considered different disorders is because people with Bipolar disorder tend to respond to medication more than folks with Borderline.
Click to expand...

Yes, like ultra ULTRA rapid cycling. Bipolar people respond to meds because it is much more a chemical imbalance in the brain whereas Borderline PD, (those that actually have it) do have impairments in the actual structure of the brain, it is different. Meds can't fix that. It is very difficult to know if someone has this or not because like Saru said, some people are just plain mean and nasty. Others have serious psychological problems caused by extreme trauma or abuse and otherwise would have been perfectly normal functioning people.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Madgirl143
Ethereal said:
Yes, like ultra ULTRA rapid cycling. Bipolar people respond to meds because it is much more a chemical imbalance in the brain whereas Borderline PD, (those that actually have it) do have impairments in the actual structure of the brain, it is different. Meds can't fix that. It is very difficult to know if someone has this or not because like Saru said, some people are just plain mean and nasty. Others have serious psychological problems caused by extreme trauma or abuse and otherwise would have been perfectly normal functioning people.
Click to expand...

Agree, totally.

And, I would also recommend, for anyone, dialectical behavioral therapy. Whether you have BPD, something else, or are just interested in general.
 
BPD tends to mean very dangerous, risk taking behavior with lots of explosive emotions and violent swings, characterized by a tendency towards quick addiction and a need for continuous external validation. That doesn't sound very INFJ to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5ufvdee369jcdd
acd said:
What is BPD? I suppose I could look it up.. Blah..
Click to expand...

They make you fall in love with them. They give you just enough that you have to give them everything back. They make you irresistibly jealous, lonely, disconnected, and make you think that they only way to feel better is to fulfill their needs.
Intellectual geniuses, creative, whacky, strange and fascinating, but poison in hiding. Like an ESTJ who is subtle about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5ufvdee369jcdd
ultrauber said:
They make you fall in love with them. They give you just enough that you have to give them everything back. They make you irresistibly jealous, lonely, disconnected, and make you think that they only way to feel better is to fulfill their needs.
Intellectual geniuses, creative, whacky, strange and fascinating, but poison in hiding. Like an ESTJ who is subtle about it.
Click to expand...



If I read that description, I would not think it was talking about someone with BPD. haha... just sayin'. :p

(To add: I find it a little disturbing when any disorder is discussed as something that the person is doing TO other people, rather than something they're struggling with.)
 
  • Like
Reactions: RonjaRaeubertochter
CorLeonis said:
If I read that description, I would not think it was talking about someone with BPD. haha... just sayin'. :p

(To add: I find it a little disturbing when any disorder is discussed as something that the person is doing TO other people, rather than something they're struggling with.)
Click to expand...

Hmm, that's from my personal experience, and she was a little bipolar/sociopath too. I think that's why I wrote it so accusingly. Deep down I still haven't gotten over what she did to me.
 
ultrauber said:
Hmm, that's from my personal experience, and she was a little bipolar/sociopath too. I think that's why I wrote it so accusingly. Deep down I still haven't gotten over what she did to me.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I gotcha. And completely empathize.

It just really hits me in the ribs when people think that a disease is something they're doing to someone else. Yes, it severely effects the people around them... but they are not doing it intentionally.

And coupled with the stigma already associated with mental illness... it just irks me.

And, again. I understand. I'm 99% certain my mom has BPD, and she... yeah. It's not good. But I know that it's not something she can control. (Not that she tries to.)
 
  • Like
Reactions: RonjaRaeubertochter, grt$5vb and uuu
BPD in recovery here. I want people know that BPD is not permanent. It takes a lot of work and a lot of patience with oneself, but the hypersensitivity, splitting, avoidance, and anger can all be mediated. I started with DBT and medication 6 years ago and I'm happy to report that I'm finally feeling much healthier (and able to identify it). I've held a steady job for four years, have just finished my second masters degree and am about to embark on a PhD program in the fall. My therapist is also a BPD awareness advocate and a miracle worker. She is essentially like a BPD "sponsor" like for someone in AA. She is there when I'm feeling dysregulated (about once a week) and gives me some alternative options to what I imagine as being a trigger over the phone for immediate "relief." I have written a story about a girl who has skin that falls off when people touch her and she is essentially without a skin to cover her body. This is how I used to feel ALL THE TIME. Like I was a skinless person trying to navigate around this treacherous world.

Personally, I feel that there is a close association between being and INFJ and having BPD, because of a propensity to be hypersensitive. Perhaps someone will one day come up with some empirical evidence on this relationship.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Chasuki, 5ufvdee369jcdd, RonjaRaeubertochter and 1 other person
I've seen psychiatrists all my life for my bipolar disorder. I have over the years developed a short temper for the sort of beaurocratic dysnfunctionality in psychiatry, especially when it threatens by ability to get my meds. Basically I've found is that if I get angry... they tag on BPD. I think that for many shrinks, BPD means a patient that bugs me.

So I find it odd that today is August 30, 2011, but the INFJ forus is listing the most recent posts on this thread as September 3, 2011. Am I in a time warp?

Anyhow, someone asked what BPD was. The BPD folks I've had run-ins with are are what I call Skinless -- oversensitive with their nerves exposed. They remind me of the old Billy Joel song:

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--

Bridge

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: RonjaRaeubertochter
Borderline personality disorder is extremely painful to those who suffer from it. It is also extremely painful to those who love them.
 
Oh I absolutely agree. I have a male friend who, while I'm not a professional, I think is a classic case. He goes through relationships like changing clothes -- I'm the only long term friend he has. But I have to have extraordinarily clear boundaries, or he will overwhelm me. I think the key to remaining friends is simply knowing he will never change, so I don't try to fix him. I just try to be there for him to the extent that I can. I think it's very sad how much pain his life has, even if much of it is his own doing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Chasuki
First off, we're all individuated. There is NO personality disorders. There is an underlying order in everything. That some choose to see "bad" or "evil" or "disorder" is their own prerogative.

Prescribing drugs that alter the chemical balance of someone is beyond retarded. There are a myriad of reasons interacting with each other to manifest perceived "disorders" and neurochemistry is but one factor. I don't doubt the placebo effect, else genuine help is had at times, but the majority seem to be worse off when they're medded up.

As our understanding of the mind continues to evolve, we'll begin to realize how stupid we were for categorizing people into terms that are simply non-existent. We'll realize that, just as today, when we view the history of psychiatry and see it's barbaric roots, so too is it being done today. Psychiatry is but a means to social engineering. Now, if the field was based more off of somebody like Jung, than Frued, I'd be more inclined to consider it a legitimate field. As is, it's terribly unscientific, and mostly about politics. Hopefully that changes in the future.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Quiet
All personality disorders are in a way, a form of PTSD.
[MENTION=4393]MBTI Addict[/MENTION] What medications can control splitting?!?! I've never heard of a medication that can do that, nor can I really figure out how it would work.

She'll probably never come back to respond.
 
i wonder if this is like common?
the infj guy i like has lied to me several times, and i am not really heavy into honesty its just
current lies make me really confused a lot of times. example when he told me his dad was dead, so for a long time
i thought that was true turns out it was "dead to him" that kind of thing.

i dont doubt his feelings but i have a weird "gut feeling" its slightly not very ..hm..consistent.

he's also told me he thinks he is a sociopath sometimes. is that dangerous?

overall he can read my mind and i can calm him down. we like the same things etc
 
  • Like
Reactions: RonjaRaeubertochter
Listen to your gut. Please do. I was in a long term relationship with a diagnosed borderline, fell smack into one right after being with a narc. I guess it felt kinda normal. You're going to run into more lies. Most of the things they tell you are lies. You're going to have to come to terms with tihngs like...truth. How important that is to you, and trust. The things he accuses you of doing, are probably things he is doing.

He told you he thinks he is a sociopath? How angry does he get with you and what happens? Assume he's dangerous.

Get. Out. Now.

PM me.

(I say that not to as an insult to borderlines. I loved mine. I did. The sociopath comment has me worried)
 
Last edited:
Since I study Psychology, I must say that it fascinates me as to whether people really have a disorder and whether some claim it in order to excuse bad behavior. We have a disorder for everything even sexual addiction is a disorder, drug and alcohol addiction are now consider disorders yet we are blaming an inanimate object for our bad behavior and poor choices. Now I no way say that some do not legitimately have a disorder but I also wonder if prescribing people medication is the answer or as the poster above suggests, we need to get to the root of the problem and stop just handing people medicines that have some serious side effects!

I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was pre-adolescent. I kept telling them then that if they had my life they would be depressed as well. They weren't putting the situation into context and then I took a serious medicine for 5 years that caused me to spiral downward. I thought my own self weird because none of my friends had to take meds. So I stopped taking it at 18 and the only time I have ever had depression were when I was in depressing situations. Now, I am kind of stubborn and strong-willed so I can't use myself as an example but what I am saying is are we truly looking at the whole picture or just diagnosing a snapshot?

Just like my half-sister has BPD and so my aunt says, well, she needs help raising her kids because she has BPD. I thought to myself, she consciously got pregnant AGAIN after knowing what kind of situation she was in the first time soooo if she can reason to that extent then how can she not raise the kids? I think we give way too many excuses for people not to have to do what they need to do yet the rest of us pick up slack. And the sad part? The people with true illnesses either suffer with no help or try and control everything on their own. We are too quick to diagnose and need to really observe the people before we jump to conclusions. JMO and like I have said before.. in this economy it is not worth much.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 5ufvdee369jcdd and tfg345i4u5lw
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back