INFJ Rage

I loved this post. I can relate with those girls.

Ok, there are a few things you need to know about INFJs.

1. INFJs can be inherently distrustful of everybody. We can be constantly on the look out for hidden motives and agendas.
2. INFJs can be inherently paranoid. We can believe that it is only "a matter of time" before people's true inner demons come out.
3. INFJs can be inherently neurotic. We can begin seeing conspiracy plots and we could expect that people are "out to get us" or "out to control us" with exceptionally little information to support the suspicion.
4. INFJs can become histrionic and "wig out" in a melodramatic display of emotion.
5. INFJs can fall into a full out rage where they relentlessly and caustically attack at anyone who is in their path, or even utilize malicious insinuations.

But at the same time....

1. INFJs can put their complete trust in individuals and reveal their deepest selves.
2. INFJs can see the inner good and potential in people and work very hard to bring it out.
3. INFJs can foresee patterns and avoid disasters of which others may be oblivious.
4. INFJs can be incredibly stable and caring when others need them to be.
5. INFJs can be insightful, cool, and detached, and may seek compromise for the sake of harmony.

The reason for this is because INFJs feel hard. We tend to be a hypersensitive type, and so we feel everything much harder than everyone else probably does. That includes the good emotions and the bad. And since we absorb those from the environment so easily, they become us. So an INFJ is often a reflection of how they percieve their environment.

So your girls were probably very afraid, felt they had very little control over what was happening in their lives, and were seeking to understand all the negative feelings that were bombarding them. But INFJs seek to understand their emotions by doing, not reflecting, and the result is what you observed.

Or the short answer is...Fe is a bitch...especially when paired with Ni.

 

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'll be sure to take them into account if I ever become close to an INFJ. :shock:

 

i concur with Satya

they were seeing something you probably would overlook

 

Wow Satya, that was an incredible post. Very well-stated!!! Thank you.

 

Satya, INFJs seem to experience extremes. That must suck.

 

Thanks.

What did you think was meant by calling INFJs an "intense" type?

 

Just to look at something else slightly, did you feel like you violated their "rules" for the behavior of friends? Their response was very much as if you had backstabbed them, regardless of your opinions. You apparently did something they perceived as the ultimate in disloyalty or violation.

Yes, they were young and probably immature, and your lack of focus on the Fe thing (resulting in your coming out with some blunt statements, I can imagine) probably didn't help matters.

Watching my daughter (INFJ), though, she's very stubborn and strong-willed even at age ten. She takes small disagreements very personally, making them into a personal affront against her, and she hates feeling inadequate or to have others see her make a mistake -- she either gets mad and argues incessantly about how she's not wrong even if she is clearly making no sense whatsoever (and she knows it, that's partly why she's mad!), or she goes off and pouts and locks out the person who challenged her. I see a lot of that in the behavior of your friends too.

She's also got all the beautiful INFJ qualities mentioned. It's just in these situations where she feels slighted or criticized, she can become completely inaccessible and ruthless.

 

Excellent perspective.

 

I missed the "intense", but I did see the "Fe is a bitch".

 

I was thinking about INFJ rage today and I think I've only done it to another person a couple of times in my life. But the inner rage I feel at times is downright scary. When I feel it boiling up I have to fight very, very hard to keep it in because unleashed, I don't know, I fear it might never end. What usually helps me is getting out into the countryside, breathing and just being alone with nature. People will describe me as a gentle soul and laid back and although those are nice things to hear I often think, "Oh man if you knew the beast that lurks beneath!"

 

The beast within . . . well put. I used to be an angry child. I don't know that anyone knew it, but I would just explode sometimes for many reasons, most of which, now that I look back, should and could have been dealt with at the time the annoyance occurred. I've learned to control my temper, but to such a degree that sometimes it takes me awhile to realize when something has made me mad.

For example, years ago a friend of mine was telling a story about someone she knew, and stated " . . . she's worse than you! She actually is dumber than a box of rocks!!" At the time I got this funny feeling, but shrugged it off. . . however . . .

Two months later I'm in the kitchen making, oddly enough, Amish friendship bread. When it hits me. She had basically just told me that my level of intelligence barely exceeded that of pile of stones. I wasn't dumb, but I was pretty darn close.

I blew up. I was mad at her for the next two weeks, avoiding her, naturally, because I knew my anger was irrational. Eventually told her in a very calm manner how she had inadvertently offended me months before. And we had a discussion about what I percieved was her subconscious perception of me.

It's funny, looking back, but sometimes I cannot tell when I'm offended or upset. Unfortunately, though we are still the best of friends, sometimes she's on eggshells because of that one incident. And I can't help her b/c it's hard for me to identify my own intense anger.

Anyone else experience this delayed reaction to emotion stimuli?

 

speak for yourself, the stars shine in the sky above for this INTJ.

Stay away from INFJ women is all I can say Gaius if you can't comprehend them. As to all the stereotypes for a INTJ.... not true. As a INTJ, we have the most maneuverability in beliefs and sticking to them. I can become fanatical about a religion, and reason myself out of it. It's the NTJ, and being introverted makes it a bit easier to be all over the spectrum, cause the relative lack of social pressures to corral us.

If you see your failing, INFJ rage or not, and you value your relations with these women, it's time to look at yourself, and adapt. Become different. Learn a system of behavior or of values different from the one you currently possess, and hopefully the field tests of the new you will be more successful.

Adapt and overcome

 

I can relate to that all too well. It took years before I could learn to express my anger in a healthy way instead of immediately suppressing it. I used to get so incredibly angry at people for various situations where they put me down and reimagine those situations so that I would come out on top instead. Sometimes I would imagine "saying the right thing" and others it would just be me busting into some ninja moves and rearranging their face. It certainly made me feel better about my rage, but it may have also prolonged it. And I fear that I was sometimes much more accepting of the fantasy than the reality, so I was probably pretty close to a psychosis.

My old friends used to play with it. I think INJ children need time to process things and so "faster" children can easily manipulate or make fun of them.

Them sounds like INFJ words there.

 

them sound like some fightin' words...

:roll:

 

First off I would like to remind you that the INFJ can TOTALLY flip on their values in a time of crisis. This seems so awful to those that are "lucky" enough to be close to an INFJ because it is totally opposite of why you like them.. ironic huh

In story 1 its not that you did really anything wrong.. you just did something wrong to her. We INFJs process right and wrong based on our own needs. What happened in story 1 is common for most INFJs, so here ya go... She was a private person.. she believed in you and believed you believed in her... Her beliefs pertaining to this, well, loud guy we evidently not communicated to you.. BUT she believed they were. This woman probably was in a rescue mission... I know it could be hard for you to see this... but most likely she was with this man because he wasn't right for her. Here is where you come in. You made light of her rescue mission and made a truthful comment or two about her relationship. She knows what you said was true... she knows what you said was probably because you cared. The problem arises is that you TOLD OTHER PEOPLE SHE DID NOT TRUST. YIKES!!! INFJ will befriend everyone to an extent.. but TRUST maybe 1% of their friends... You were in this trust group and spilled the beans to the notrusted group.. Her flip was totally to show you why she or any INFJ really, trust 1% of their friends. Rather than tell you she was disappointed or mad.. etc.. she decided to make you hate her (temporarily even).. It doesnt help that the INFJ knows how to hurt their friends to their core... but it is something that happens naturally. I hope you learn that the INFJ trusts very few people. If you are in this trust group. Fight, accept, or help support their mission. If you dont know what that mission is... that does not mean they dont believe you do.

Basically if you can see there is something wrong... you are trusted to some extent.

I hope this helps ya out.

 

I thought this would be a good one to bring back..

 

I don't understand why you care so much.

Hrm.

You need to adopt a new mind frame. A more apathetic, objective, all encompassing and thus, healthier mentality.

 

Yeah, I could probably use a lot of life-style changes.

 

Bitter much? The OP must really have wanted an INFJ. Honorable, selfless, objective and objective? wow... i was lol-ing at my desk!