INFJ Males

Certainly can't speak for the rest of the males INFJs out there but...

I really loathe:

• watching sports, talking about sports, following sports.
• the 'woodsman' 'outdoors-y' hunting, fishing, 4-wheeling stuff.
• locker room macho talk.

I dislike the idea of throwing out my masculinity like it's on display. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

That being said.. I really like

• Lifting weights
• I love war movies - especially WWII movies (Band of Brothers is awesome)

Listening to music and drinking wine, loving to cook, candles and incense don't really help me out though lol

 

I can't really speak much for my masculinity. I don't like violence much if at all. I have not been really much of an outdoors person either. I enjoy shows that many of you would consider feminine, as well as collecting things many of you would consider feminine as well. The only real masculine thing would say about me is my fashion, jeans and t-shirt work fine for me, other than that well...I would have to think more xD.

 

Well, I am not INFJ but I really want to chime in anyway.

I think males with strong F are frowned upon in society in general. I detest a lot of the standard "man" things.

I really don't like sports, I will go to a game if someone has tickets, but I am generally not excited about it. I don't watch them, I don't like talking about them. Although MMA is my one exception, I LOVE it.

I did a lot of fishing with my grandpa when I was younger, I didn't necessarily like fishing in general, I always felt bad for the fish. However, I REALLY like the bonding that happened when out there. My cousin and I would catch crawdads under a bridge and that was a blast. I really don't like hunting, I don't like killing anything living unless it is for a VERY justifiable purpose.

That being said I LOVE to shoot guns and make things explode.

I lift weights and exercise, and I like talking about it to some extent in order to improve my technique. I see it as more of a necessity rather than a passion of mine.

When I first moved to Fort Dodge, it was such a culture shock because the persona of the male changed and the alpha male is the only supported role here. Everyone talks about dirt bikes and ATV's, fast cars, pickup trucks, beer, and sports. The only people I really relate to a lot here are the computer geeks and the people that moved here from out of town for work.

Frustrating indeed.

 

Here's a good example of what my idea of masculinity is:

 

I don't mind violence in movies or compuer games. I like Call of Duty and Warhammer Online. I love Kung Fu movies (Fong Sai Yuk!) but I have never ever been in a physical fight. I enjoy watching sports. In emergency situations, when people start to freak out, I instinctively step up and take the lead like it was the most natural thing in the world. That surprises me sometimes.

The list of non-masculine things about me would be much longer. I especially don't like cars. People often assume I'm gay. That's alright.
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Edit: Yeah, and I work with computers and have a home full of cables connecting all the stereo equipment into one big web of amplifiers, speakers and volume knobs.

 

Not just similar, but pretty much exact.

 

x2 LOL

 

So being masculine is about liking violence, killing things, watching sports and lifting weights? Wow, you guys just destroyed my manliness concept of myself. Thanks alot

 

Uhh... almost everyone is saying the above is NOT what being masculine is about for them. I like lifting weights but that's that just 1 of the 4 you listed out.

 

So ..umm.. manliness, or heterosexuality, is more about what the other man perceives?

That does not sound very "heterosexual" like to me. Not saying you all use other men's perceptions to perceive yourself.. eh f*ck...

I'm just saying...um..does a woman's perception ever fall into this manliness quotient thingy? I am utterly inarticulate right now...maybe cuz it's men all up in this thread...

:bolt:

 

Don't worry Wyst, I wasn't being serious about that, but unfortunaly some of the activities that were mentioned above are exactly the criteria for being masculine in the eyes of many, which is quite sad.

 

I see what you're saying but each person has their own preference.
I think that cumulatively, all of the activities you're disappointed about have been listed, but that's only because MAYBE each person had only one of those activities , so it's coming across like we ALL like ALL of those things, which is far from the truth.

I may like lifting weights but I don't flaunt it or talk much about it. Because I don't enjoy the douchebaggery that often comes with team sports, I don't have a lot of options when it comes to staying fit. Weight lifting is my way to stay in shape without needing other jocks to do it with.
Someone may like fishing but they probably don't have a the biggest catch hanging on their wall so they can speak braggadociously about 'the catch'.

If each person likes perhaps one of these things and the collective result is that all things are mentioned sporadically, does that mean you don't like action or fight scenes in movies or don't have a single sport you enjoy playing?

EDIT: I'm not arguing, I just want to understand what you mean. You haven't let us in on your idea of what masculinity is, so I'm having a hard time understanding you.

 

I feel much the same way you do about what you said regarding "Heroic violence." I to have a strong "virle side" but I like to express that through sports. I'm not gay but I have a soft personality most of time. But with sports I'm a much more intense person. It's like all of those crazy, complex, and wound up emotions that infj's keep on the inside are let out when I play sports

 

No Wyst, if I came out as if I was judging anyone basing their masculinity on the sort of activities they were engaging in let me tell you right now that I wasn't. I was just curious as to why or how did it come to be that "masculinity" is a synonym to acting tough and liking out-door sports when surely there are many women who are feminine and like do those things as well. I guess I'm just confusing the concept of being a "man" and being "masculine".

Oh I know you are not arguing Wyst, hehe don't worry, that's the last thing I would want here but to answer your question and to continue my above post. To me, to be masculine is how a culture defines how a man should be. In this definition and how I was brought up, to be masculine is to be chivilrous to other women, to be assertive and stand up to those who can't stand up for themselves, to be the pillar of strenght when things around you are going astray, to show by example to others and most importantly to be independent and brave in the midsts of obstacles. Surely, given that these were imposed to me by my parents does not make them any more or less better than doing what others think man should do. It's just different.

Peace.

 

I totally understand what you meant now. Awesome.

I agree with you. Masculinity is NOT about those things AT ALL. I think everyone answered according to what the stereotypical definition of is thought to be.

The reason I didn't want to let it go is because my INFJness felt rejected and was like, "I WANT YOU TO LIKE MEEEEEEE!!"

People, this is how communication is supposed to work!

 

Yes, I think that there is a clear difference between being masculine and being a man, I think masculinity is defined by society on the other hand that has nothing to do with your sexual orientation and whether your a man or not, you know who you are, that's what your attracted to, sadly society likes to correlate orientation and masculinity together when it should not be that way.

 

Another INFJ male here....

I do like cars. I owned an Austin Healey Sprite and a Triumph Spitfire back in the day so I have always enjoyed cars with great handling...power is irrelevant to me. I prefer fuel economy. I've had two MINI Coopers and am eyeing Toyota's IQ (not here yet)...right now I drive a Yaris.

I raised four kids...two boys, two girls Real men read books to little kids and plays legos.

As for battle.....the story of struggle is very real, but I find that mostly the real struggle is an inner one and is all about bringing goodness into this world. You want a fight? Fight that one. Then we'll we what we're made of.

 

No problem Wyst, it's been a pleasure discussing this with you. You're a cool guy