INFJ + ESFP

Zanshin

Zanshin

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
In addition, I'm curious to see if any INFJ has had a relationship with an ESFP and/or any thoughts.
 
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INxJ's + ESFP's (couple).

Hello there, I am an INFJ (slight F, moderate I) interested in hearing other INFJ's, as well as INTJ's, experiences (pro's/con's, etc) with past/present ESFP partners.

Thank you.
 
I would rather enjoy a relationship with an ESFP, I think :) I absolutely love that type
 
One of my closest friends is an ESFP. She is a blast to hang around with. Always active, can't sit still, looks for adventures whenever she can. She is also very smart as well, but doesn't seem to realise it. She is also one of the ONLY people (actually, I think she is) who will make me act competative. She helps bring out a side of me that is VERY diffucalt for me to even do on my own, and it is a very fun loving carefree side. We compliment each other in very good ways. She gets me out in the open and makes me be more spontenious and to stop being so cautious (albeit... she has coaxed me into doing a few things I should not have). And I help her focus and get things done, and to stop trying to WIN everything. It is a really great friendship.
 
Yeah so threads are basically the same so *merged*
 
IndigoSensor said:
One of my closest friends is an ESFP. She is a blast to hang around with. Always active, can't sit still, looks for adventures whenever she can. She is also very smart as well, but doesn't seem to realise it. She is also one of the ONLY people (actually, I think she is) who will make me act competative. She helps bring out a side of me that is VERY diffucalt for me to even do on my own, and it is a very fun loving carefree side. We compliment each other in very good ways. She gets me out in the open and makes me be more spontenious and to stop being so cautious (albeit... she has coaxed me into doing a few things I should not have). And I help her focus and get things done, and to stop trying to WIN everything. It is a really great friendship.
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^^ Absolutely~ ESFPs really draw out that spontaneous, fun-loving, adventurous side from me too. That's wonderful in a relationship; someone that wants to love life and is curious for new experiences is a great compliment to our type; we dream about it, they could help us get up and do it.
I like that playful side, but I need someone to draw it out. I can be serious enough for two people, so ESFPs are perfect to bring out that other side.
 
One of my best friends is an ESFP. She's great fun, and a really good person.
 
SPs are awesome in whatever flavour they come but a relationship... Iunno, sounds, erm, not so cool in the N v S communications differences. Good luck though.
 
IndigoSensor said:
She is also very smart as well, but doesn't seem to realise it....And I help her focus and get things done, and to stop trying to WIN everything.
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My old (and first...and last) g/f was an ESFP. She was really smart and didn't realize it either...
She is nice, and we ended amicably, but I ended up "getting her" a lot more than she "got me", which is probably usual for INFJs.

I think relationships are weird, and while there are definitely pros and cons to various personality types (and they each have their peculiar tendencies), I think it's important to realize that people are more than the sum of 4 letters (which I think/hope we do). My issues with her had more to do with her, than her "personality"...


@ Lurker...yeah, we had communication...differences.
 
oh god please NOOOOO!!!!!

I recently had to stay with an annoying little ESFP brat and we almost killed each other (well, at least I learned how much I can destest a person.........what am I talking about?! all that torture was NOT worth it!!)

mm...seems like noone is on my side....oh well.
 
Hey, i'm infj and my boyfriend is esfp and we've been together for almost 2 yrs now. I really care for him deeply, and I'm relatively certain he feels the same way! We fought alot in the beginning because intentions were expressed in different ways and it can get confusing when most of us have an underlying insecurity, it's hard to have faith. But you just have to keep one thing in mind: just because someone doesn't love like you, doesn't mean they don't love you. Patience and intuition are key. And while I'm fascinated by the general accuracy of these personality types, we need to give credit to the original elements that make people the unique creatures we are!








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Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each others cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but do not eat from the same loaf.
Sing & dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone - Kahil Gibran
 
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i too am in a long term relationship with a ESFP... and having the time of my life. i tend to feel that he keeps me "balanced" in regards to being social and outgoing/whatnot. he is the social butterfly and i am...well, not. He truly fascinates me to no end and it's quite refreshing to be so intimate with someone who functions a little differently. We do occasionally argue about things we don't see eye-to-eye on but in the end we are both aware of our diverse personalities and try to accommodate one another.
 
I have to so agree with you. Misunderstood. My husband is an esfp and I'm an Infj. We've been together for years and we never cease to amaze eachother. He is my best friend and lover all in one package.
In my opinion it is his general love of people that attracts him to my rare personality. You can look at an esfp like they are people tasters. A condenser of persons. And being the rare and unique and complex personality that I am satisfies him to the point that he will never get bored. I can truly admire everything about him and how everybody loves him. Sure we bump heads when it comes to theoretical thinking and ideas. Honestly he just won't have it, and ofcourse I push him towards seeing it my way which is abstracts that he can not possibly see it. But sometimes I think I open his mind up to new possibilities and inspire him to think outside of the box which fuels his creativity towards more practical and logical ideas. I'm sort of he philosopher to the poliitian. Or the guru to my warrior.
 
Not an INFJ but one of my best friends up until this year was an ESFP. Very bubbly, social, energetic, and spontaneous. She always needed to be doing something and loved theater. What I liked about her was how genuine a person she was. There are some people who you can just tell they mean well all the time and have a good heart, even if they go about it wrong sometimes -- she was someone like that. She was always open and affectionate which I appreciate in a friend. Always hugging and wanting to snuggle up with who she was close to.

I liked her, but our differences eventually led to an end of the friendship. I'm the type who doesn't mind, and hell, prefers sitting around one-on-one and just talking about whatever. Spontaneity isn't something I'm comfortable with, where as it was something she thrived on. Either I ended up getting dragged into an uncomfortable situation to make her happy, or she had to take it down a notch to make me happy. Her unreliability pissed me off, and my rigidity frustrated her. Fun while it lasted, I guess. :rolleyes:
 
I had big problems with an ESFP who was once a good friend then turned into a toxic one. He is a 5 star psychological bully. Of course, on the surface is he charming and charismatic and everyone loves him but his main problem is that he is deeply insecure.

The problem was his conflict with his sensitivity, being a male F type an all. He didn't like how sensitive he was and his immature Fi really caused him to get personally offended by everything. In comes the dreaded Te tertiary. Fucking hell, his Te made him such an ass hole. He flips between them, being totally cool one moment to complete complete prick the next. He has no problem hurting others if he feels it will benefit him.

There are a lot of ESFPs on my course though and at my uni. Aslong as their Fi is good then they are usually okay people, albeit I don't relate with or get on with most of them generally.
 
I've been in a love/hate/wtf relationship with an ESFP for a while and as much as we are very different, I honestly couldnt do without her. We cant stand each other, and yet we cant do without each other. we've tried to just cut all comunication, but it allways ends up with me and her together, with a very awkward silence. :m136: Lately, we've been trying to work it out through a kind of counceling, and alltho slightly punishing at times, its well worth it.
 
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