INFJ + ENTJ | INFJ Forum

INFJ + ENTJ

kita

kita

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Jun 13, 2010
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I couldn't find another thread about INFJ/ENTJ relationships, so I thought I'd start one. Have you ever been in one? What do you think about the pairing?

I am curious because my husband just took an mbti test with an ENTJ result. I went to check out his type's forum but it is totally dead, which I guess makes sense since he won't even check email on weekends.
 
I dated an ENTJ for a while (that did not go so well for me, it ended on a neutral note but. Yeah, I got emotionally damaged by him really bad). He's the only confirmed ENTJ I know of (although I have observed others in the real world, but have not spoken to them at length). His Fi was developed just enough so he knew when to keep his trap shut around people who would wreck his systems. Around me, he didn't care and would steam roll you. He definintely also had that "I am hugging you right now" mentality. You praticaclly had to beg him to be physically affectionate, and when he was it came out of left field and was pretty mechanical (but natural). He would do such a thing with me when I gave or did something pratical.

It could have just been his interests, but he seemed to also respond to "cuteness". He found my anxiety with trying to explain things in a way he would underatand (I far over catered to him) cute and would often kind of go "aww... now be quiet, you'll hurt yourself", in a nice way. Affection came from him on his own terms pretty much. I'd get deadpanned out of nowhere with affection (if you can call it affection, it was very "deliberate"), and when the affection ended, to him it was like nothing happened at all. That to be honest really confounded me, because if I asked him about it, he would explain he felt it, but his actions and expressions did not mirror it at all, not in the least.

I want ENTJ's to be something there not. I have this fascination with them because a deeper part of me wants to BE one. It is in my best interest to avoid them, unfortonately.
 
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VH said:
Are you sure he's not an ENFJ? They're worse about not checking email than ENTJs, actually.
It's common for males to over estimate their T over their F functions on self assessment tests.
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Really? I check my email often, usually more than once a day.
 
VH said:
Are you sure he's not an ENFJ? They're worse about not checking email than ENTJs, actually.

It's common for males to over estimate their T over their F functions on self assessment tests.
Click to expand...

​

I have trouble typing people, so I'm not really sure. We actually discussed the first T/F question. He said it was difficult to choose because even if you use logic to makes decisions, its usually in favor of your desires which are always emotional. It seemed a T kind of response to me.
 
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Indigo I definitely have a similar experience with my ENTJ and affection.
 
kita said:
I have trouble typing people, so I'm not really sure. We actually discussed the first T/F question. He said it was difficult to choose because he believes even if you use logic to makes decisions, its usually in favor of your desires, which are always emotional. I actually thought that was a T kind of response but agai I can't type people very well.
Click to expand...

The difference should be pretty clear, since they have different dominant functions.

If he's an ENFJ, he cares about other people a great deal and expresses his emotions rather obviously... as in if he's happy, sad, curious, angry, he projects it pretty clearly in his vibe, expressions, and mannerisms. He's also the kind of guy who thinks in terms of how things work and small scale details, and can have trouble with the big picture logical things. An ENFJ has a wide circle of friends who adore his enthusiasm, and appreciate his ability to know just what to say, and how to help.

If he's an ENTJ, then he's very good at looking at the big picture on a logical level, extremely practical and able to juggle a lot of intellectual components in his head. Most importantly, he will be an expert at delegation, able to say who needs to do what, when and how. However, he'll have a lot of trouble expressing his feelings, and may from time to time be rather selfish and demanding. An ENTJ has a wide circle of contacts and connections, which are designed to fill purposes and roles, often trading favors through these contacts.
 
One of my best friends is an INTJ / ENTJ borderline. I'm also in the middle between INFJ and ENFJ.

We have a lot of mutual respect for each other, but we also have frequent arguments and clashes of wills. What makes our friendship so good is that we bring strengths to the relationship that are the others' weaknesses. We cover each others' blind spots very well. However, these same things sometimes turn into a difference of opinion that leads to epic battles.

I've honestly never met a less considerate human being once she's decided something.
 
Not a INFJ but it's a unique relationship. Stereotypically ENTJs are heartless and the individuals I know...well...they fit their stereotype. I don't think that'd would go over particular well with the INFJ.
 
I've dated a confirmed ENTJ male before. You can see my post about it here.
 
Indigo NT said:
Here's an article about the relationship: http://www.entjpersonality.info/2010/07/entj-infj-compatibility-relationships.html
Click to expand...

Awesome link, I'm not an INFJ and I haven't dated an ENTJ (yet alone anyone). :m024:
My trainer is an ENTJ, we work together pretty well, although she gets very tense easily. ENTJ's are naturally aggressive, though they mean well but their actions may not come across that way. I wouldn't recommend engaging in a realtionship with one, unless you have a though shell.
In my case, thats extremely important as my trainer likes to spar me.

Here's an interesting link/links that I found;

http://www.lovetype.com/entjtips.html
http://www.lovetype.com/infjtips.html
 
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My boyfriend is an ENTJ, and while we do argue some and have our disagreements, we tend to make up quickly :)
 
I'm an INFJ, and although I've only met ENTJs casually, I typically am not attracted to them.
 
Just came across this thread while searching for info about INFJ (definitely me) and ENTJ (likely my boyfriend) compatibility. I did find that TheDaringHatTrick's article had some good insights, especially the fact that INFJs are super sensitive to criticism and conflict, which my ENTJ boyfriend just cannot relate to. He, meanwhile, is argumentative, defensive, and doesn't particularly value emotions. That's been our main battle- we've had to learn to meet in the middle with every conflict that we come up against, because I am way too sensitive, but he did need to learn to value emotions much more. Like the article said, "there are many gaps and things to work on in this relationship, [but] both individuals can become more balanced and complete persons" if they decide to put in the work.
Our strengths and weaknesses are totally opposite, which is very interesting, as I had always sought out men who were exactly like me. This resulted in a couple of completely disastrous relationships, in which we understood each other's deepest natures, resulting in a great deal of love and passion but also the magnification of each other's greatest weaknesses. This lead to total instability and a few really messed up break-ups. However, my ENTJ boyfriend and I, while it took much more effort to come to an understanding of each other and to be able to get along on a longterm basis, are infinitely more stable. We share a great sense of humor and a few common interests, but most of all, we share ideas of how we want our relationship to progress and what our lives are going to look like. While our totally opposite personalities and ways of seeing the world have caused a lot of conflict over the time that we've been together, things started to settle down a lot once we started to understand each other better and realized that being happy together was more important than being right much of the time (especially for him).
 
INFJ + ENTJ relations always felt strained to me. It was like a love-hate deal - sometimes you're so in tune with one another, other times complete and utter misunderstanding. I late read on a socionics website that these are relations of supervision and ENTJ supervises INFJ. That actually explained a lot - Supervision.

I get a sense that ENTJs think much faster than INFJs. When I am around them I often feel like such a laggard.
 
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