INFJ and Eye Contact While Thinking | INFJ Forum

INFJ and Eye Contact While Thinking

Kappacity

Kappacity

<3
Dec 25, 2009
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INFJ
I always lose eye contact when thinking or trying to recall something. I've noticed it is very difficult for me to be trying to recall something and maintain eye contact. I feel like I am staring or something by sitting there trying to access my brain without showing I am thinking...something like that. What's your take on this?
 
I find it difficult to maintain eye contact in any situation.

It's not really important, is it?
 
You lose eye-contact when trying to recall specific details
because your mind is busy focusing on trying to remember,
not focused on maintaining eye contact.
 
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im the same way, kappacity.
 
Bird said:
You lose eye-contact when trying to recall specific details
because your mind is busy focusing on trying to remember,
not focused on maintaining eye contact.
Click to expand...
Well said
 
Bird said:
You lose eye-contact when trying to recall specific details
because your mind is busy focusing on trying to remember,
not focused on maintaining eye contact.
Click to expand...
agreed. :)
 
I know some people who manage to keep eye-contact while thinking, though. I wonder if that means they have better concentration...
 
These people are probably trying to convince you of something at the time
of their speech. In which case their main priority and focus is to be engaging
which requires good eye contact. Being factual isn't necessary if you're
charismatic and distracting enough.
 
I tend to agree with Bird. When I'm trying to find the perfect way to say something, my mind (and gaze) wanders around aimlessly.

For the most part, I lock eyes with whoever I'm talking with unless I'm not interested in the conversation. Sometimes I have to tone down the eyes. I think it makes some people uncomfortable.
 
Bird said:
These people are probably trying to convince you of something at the time
of their speech. In which case their main priority and focus is to be engaging
which requires good eye contact. Being factual isn't necessary if you're
charismatic and distracting enough.
Click to expand...
I suppose so, but then everyone who makes eye contact with you while thinking has an ulterior motive. Maybe it's just that there eyes are weirdly stationary and they don't need to 'look' for the answers? I'd imagine certain types are more likely to maintain eye-contact than others, or even just people with different upbringings.

Great, I've ruined the fun of that... made it too complicated to draw any conclusion ;.;
 
It is considered rude to stare in Native Culture so I rarely hold anyone's gaze for any length of time.
 
Sometimes I look people in the eye as I walk past them (ie they're walking the
opposite direction of me). I think it's funny when they turn around to be sure
that you were looking at them, they're like "huh, do I know her?".
 
Now I'm all curious as to how it is for other cultures (thanks Sonyab!)

In Western American culture the speaker is not expected to keep full eye contact. It is often times characterized as rude if not intimidating. The listener however is often times expected to keep full eye contact with the speaker, or at least when the speaker is looking at the listener. If the listener is looking elsewhere it's characterized as them being disinterested. It's funny how things like this change from culture to culture.
 
When I am attempting to think of something or figure something out, I can't keep eye contact. It's partly because visual input becomes distracting. I tend to look all over the place when I am speaking or having to listen to someone and focus. This largely because I am very auditory based.
 
mf said:
Now I'm all curious as to how it is for other cultures (thanks Sonyab!)

In Western American culture the speaker is not expected to keep full eye contact. It is often times characterized as rude if not intimidating. The listener however is often times expected to keep full eye contact with the speaker, or at least when the speaker is looking at the listener. If the listener is looking elsewhere it's characterized as them being disinterested. It's funny how things like this change from culture to culture.
Click to expand...


Yes there are many cultural differences. Staring is considered rude by Natives because it is considered intrusive unless you are close or intimate with someone (even with close friends I don't keep eye contact for really long periods of time but will look them in the eye).

Many things in Western American culture rub me the wrong way because of my cultural background. The main one being the personal questions that seem normal to most but are exceedinly rude (native culture) if you don't know someone really well and even then, it is polite to wait for them to tell you rather than ask. Like "are you married, do you have kids" and such things. I especially dislike people asking me "what did you do this weekend or how was your weekend" and then they are not satisfied with my vague answer and press for details. Normal social chit chat feels like a minefield sometimes because some people come across as so pushy to me--mainly extroverts.
 
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I can't keep keep my eyes fixated on any single point while I talk. I'm either staring into space or they dart all over the place. I don't know why but the eye movement follows my thought process somehow, and most of the time I'm thinking as I'm talking and my eyes just seem to follow that. It's also very easy for my to lose my train of thought, if I were to force myself to hold my eyes on someone else, it would just kill my concentration.

It's actually quite frustrating when people interrupt me to point out I'm spacing out or not looking at their eyes. Who the hell cares about eye contact, just stfu and let me finish! -_-
 
Bird said:
Sometimes I look people in the eye as I walk past them (ie they're walking the
opposite direction of me). I think it's funny when they turn around to be sure
that you were looking at them, they're like "huh, do I know her?".
Click to expand...

I do this unintentionally on the train, and then I fell creepy cause I'm stuck sitting across from the person for a while. ^This^ is smarter though. Easy escape route.

But when talking to someone, I usually have to remind myself to make eye contact at all--which sometimes makes people think that I'm not being sincere.
 
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