dragulagu
Galactic Explorer
- MBTI
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 549
My test on the MBTI constantly showing I am an INFJ-A Advocate. I dont want to bother much by going to psychologist for this.
Today, me and business partners have a discussion:
Partner: I dont like that guy, he could backstab us from the back or climb to some of our high profile people who are our valuable assets. I will screen him for potential dangers.
Me: Let me deal with him, I see some dissapointment in him. I sense of he is a kind of rushing to secure projects, likely burdened by his principle for a quick money making actions.
Partner: I leave it to you I dont want to deal with him. The Go No Go is from you.
Me: Aye aye brother. You know you can rely on me. (I stare him deeply and say in my heart: this is a do or die business for usbro).
Partner: All rite bro, all on you for this matter.
***
Vendor texted me: I see you are likely the wisest of all of your partners in the group. Care to talk to me just two of us?
Me: Sure let s meet up
In the meeting (with some booze)
Me: My group has a full confidence of what you are capable of, but in my opinion you were a bit rushing to push things out. This make my frienda uncomfortable.
Vendor: You know I have a plan to do a holistic approach for this sector. But of course in the way, my company need to make sure we get some projects. I need to show progress to my principle.
Me: I thought so. Look "my friend" there is nothing wrong with you chasing quick money. But you said yourself you want to do a holistic approach for the sector. Here is what I think you are doing (bla ... Bla...)
In my honest opinion you are pushing a short term benefit that may screw you for the big thing you want to achieve. I know my friends are sometimes a bit fusy, and arrogant, but trust me our group actually believes in what you are capable of. No doubt from our side.
(I stare at him and say in my heart: I am not kidding bro. You should know from my gesture).
Vendor: Thank you it is good to hear that. You know exactly we can do (bla...bla..).
(I dont pay attention, but being a good listener with body languange showing I agree).
Vendor: Omg I dont know why I opened up so much with you and let my guard down. May be I am drunk (laughing).
Me: I dont trust people before before we drink together. It is when people are being the most honest (I laugh).
Vendor: I know you are the wisest of all. Look, I do really want this thing to happen. I dont give a shit to whatever your partner's bad attitude to me, they treated me like this and that. Of course I feel disrespected.
Me: If you didnt tell me I wouldnt know, thank you for telling me that and I apologized for that(I show my sincere look). I will tell them to never disrespect people like that anymore. Look my partners trust me to handle this thing. I am here to talk to you on my initiative to talk from heart to heart. I have a solution to you do this...and that, but you cant do this and that ... Because the timing isnt good from the perspective of our group.
Vendor: I think I can take that, but here are some of my other problems. (Bla bla)
Me: I think I can help you with that, but this will be my personal favor to you. I dont see you are the type of person who would cross the line. Let me handle my friends, I will help you on that later thing personally, but I dont want any frictions between our groups. Remember we must work together for our bigger targets, the big missions. So whatever happens we stick together OK? If you have problems you talk to me. I can proof to you I am a man of my word.
Vendor: I think I like you man. Let's do the thing together.
----
(We had a good drink, I even drove him home coz he was too drank)
A few days later...
Partner: What do you think bro, can we do a business with him? They actually have a good capability, I am just worried he may backstab us.
Me: You leave him to me, I think he listens to me. It is good if we can do (bla bla bla) business with him.
Partner: Aye aye bro, thank you for figuring things out.
Later, I fulfilled my promises to him (I invested in his heart). It was just a small favor, but the thank is big. I told my partner I was helping the vendor in this that.
His initial response: Are you sure?
Me: Yes bro, you also need to understand what is his burden was. I can sense his frustration. A little help that will release him from the burden will make him loyal to is.
Partner: You are always the cult leader for many people (joking). Ok go ahead.
Me: laugh and thinking: you dont know how my INFJ brain works bro.
----
We havent started the big project yet: but I know that in a tender I can bullshit and sell this vendor being our knowledge partner.
When I acted as a neutralizer, my brain already figured out the chain reaction what may fall apart if we didnt pick that vendor. I believe we are chosing the best. Simce I am a control freak, I cannot stand quietly and look at my miserable forecast. I acted, confront the problem by showing my genuine intention and using my charm.
Whenever I feel there is a potential distortion, I straighten things up "for the bigger purpose".
I use my charm like a prophet, like Hitler to remind people of a greater purpose. Combined with my sincere body languange, I can bend people's mind.
I know that vendor wouldnt have the heart to betray us. Apart from I made good investment in the small favor, he could tell from my body language I cannot take a betrayal and are capable of doing something really bad if crossed my line..
I trapped him in his mind by setting up a deep guilt feeling if he betray our group and most importantly he will lose an reliable helper: a person who just help with true intention to help (with all of my capabilities). Like a good friend. I know it is rare.
I thank my INFJ mind for that, but can you imagine if I used it for the negative ways?
@larcipelago We had a discussion in another thread on whether reading people is a blessing or a curse.
I wanted to see your perspective because there was something bothering me on your story. And now having read this part, I'm going to give you something:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...s-no-dark-side-empathy-just-people-dark-sides
Empathy has no light or dark sides. It is a skill that, when engaged in full, gives us deeper understanding of others.
If we learn to read other people and use that to manipulate them, we are not being empathic.
We are not imagining ourselves in their situation and how we would want to be treated if we were them.
So, take this as a major tip and be careful with and understand what you are doing.