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[INFJ] I wonder how many INFJ's are on this forum

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by TheDevvil156, Jan 10, 2020.

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  1. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer
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    @larcipelago We had a discussion in another thread on whether reading people is a blessing or a curse.
    I wanted to see your perspective because there was something bothering me on your story. And now having read this part, I'm going to give you something:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...s-no-dark-side-empathy-just-people-dark-sides

    Empathy has no light or dark sides. It is a skill that, when engaged in full, gives us deeper understanding of others.
    If we learn to read other people and use that to manipulate them, we are not being empathic.
    We are not imagining ourselves in their situation and how we would want to be treated if we were them.


    So, take this as a major tip and be careful with and understand what you are doing.
     
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  2. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    Thank you bro for this. In that situation, I did play the emphaty for the chess game, but it wasnt my intention to manipulate them. I know we could chose to be Hitler or Mother Theresa if we really strenghten our INFJs. I believe INFJs are not just people in the corner of the room during a party. With great power comes a great responsibility. For me it will be US who will torture ourselves for any misconduct.
     
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  3. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer
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    No problem, I know it wasn't with bad intention, but there is a clear distinction between showing empathy for someone as a means to connect and showing empathy to force someone into a direction (even if it is a good one).
    If you have ever seen the movie "The Wolf of Wall Street", it's what the main character did with his team. This more a point of view on morality.
     
  4. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    Ups I agree with this

    "What I worry about is that the idea of dark sides to empathy is a slippery slope that can lead to throwing out empathy altogether. For those of us who experience racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, or who live with bullying and being made fun of because of differences in ability or who we are, empathy is the guardrail that keeps those bad behaviors in check. It is the light bulb that can go off to tell someone that they are treating others badly. It is the “aha moment” of understanding what another person is truly experiencing."

    It doesnt answer though the So What? Question after a sincere doing. It may derail the meaning of the emphaty, and became a complex INTUITION game play. But that is the world bro, it is always the survival of the fittest. I learned it the hard way.
    I do understand I need an INTP to warn me to not becoming a Hitler
     
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  5. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    You are right on this, I changed the emphaty into INTUITION game play. I usually use this a lot when there is a potential friction.

    You can probably help me and others how we also play the Control Freak thing. It disturbs my mind when my INFJ fast reading situation shows a bad alert. Sometimes my precaution or responses are not necessary, sometimes it is what it needs to unite all the different interests. I often see things break when I have my hands out. In many time, the fixing the broken glass is given to me. The worst blamegame to myself: I could have prevented it but I didnt do it...it is torturing when in that situation
     
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  6. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    I have to add this part. It is rare for an INFJ turn into a violent revengeful person. We may not forgive (lose interests) forever, but we dont usually strike revengefully. Some bad famous INFJs are good at covering this up with the "greater purpose" (Hitler, Osama). Just remember: these kind of people are more manipulative than being an empath.
     
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    #26 larcipelago, Jan 10, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
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  7. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer
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    Honestly, purely talking intuition, i personally use it mostly to understand a situation, and push things forward. But the situation should be in control of others. People should learn themselves and be shown a direction they could go in.
    The choice is theirs to do so, not mine. If I can give an example from myself, I'm starting up a kickstarter coming month with 2 friends. While I am currently leading the team of us 3 and giving each member of our team the tasks of what to do based on my intuition on where we should go and who my team/friends are. I let them do the tasks themselves and not interfere with their decisions. If it doesn't work out for one of them (or for myself), I propose a change of course. That way we can get to a consensus and move forward together. Hope that makes sense.
     
  8. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    I think what you do in the kickstart is the nature of INFJs, hehe. We are naturally a democratic person and likes to see the best from others.
    Gameplay is a bit different in my group, we set ourself in different character strength we have. There is the mastermind, our leader, there is the situation reader and handler (me), there is the extrovert for a show off, etc. I am a no leader but people in my group admits I am the binder and neutralizer in many times. Btw, they know little about MBTI, but in many times a question of: what is your reading? And all eyes on me. Hehe. I felt omg they value my INFJs.
     
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  9. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer
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    Hehe, certainly taking that as a compliment, thank you.
    You're working with a team with each having their own skillset. That certainly works; A-Team style.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    The GIF is quite true but to be precise, in my part I feel more like this:
    The air traffic controller (in the airportl. I dont rule, I watch things out from my INFJ tower. If things get messy I freak out).
     

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  11. MoonFlier

    MoonFlier Permanent Fixture

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    I'm pretty sure that infjs are just cats stuck in Schrodinger's world, we're used to demonstrate how things are misinterpreted... and yet people misinterpret that too.


    *flipping through the calendar*
    December was you, January was John.
    We had too much spiked something flowing through this place in December to notice. If you want to provide the morning bagels next friday I'll bring the coffee.
     
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  12. OP
    TheDevvil156

    TheDevvil156 Regular Poster

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    Well I try to do something about that but his behaviour is really scary(I am not a physcologist but he has a sociopathic/psycopathic behaviour).But if he tryes again to hit or hurt me il will do the same.One thing I want to come back to normal.......my epathy/ability to be an empath(I seem to lack it now) and to be able to concentrate more and not be hyperactive anymore
     
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