I don't even belong with other INFP/J 's ?

Are you sure you're an INFP? Maybe you're an INFJ. It's really hard to tell the difference some times! I encourage you to read around here and see how many things click. I'm an INFJ, and I'm by no means a mirror of anyone else here. But they get me... I think.

Have a look at the member blogs especially. You'll see the inner workings of various memebrs here.

 

People usually put more thought into letters or forums than they do into conversations or chat rooms. With forums, you have time to think about what you are going to say, unlike chat rooms. That may be why you have trouble feeling connected to people in the more quick paced means of communication.

The other possibility is that you just have a hard time feeling connected to people regardless. Are you always searching for and expecting it?

I know what you mean though by ESXX banter. That stuff kills me. How can people say so much about nothing?

 

I think you need to engage people more and they will respond to you. Like your doing now. It takes time to develop friendships here. Some people you really get along with others they have to grow on you. In the end it really is up to you to make things happen. I could have just read your post and not responded. I too have found that online interaction is much different than in person. And that is a good thing. The nice thing is you can retract back into your hole and stick your head out when your ready..

 

Interesting you should say that. I'm going to respond by quoting a Visitor Message that was left for me. (You can see it yourself if you go to my profile.)

Those are the sorts of things INFJ's usually take pictures of.

 

First, on the chat topic, I tend to kill chats because I don't do well at or enjoy quick and superficial conversation. I will enter, hang quietly in the background, finally see somebody write something that intrigues me, and then write some monstrously long and terribly inappropriate to the chat environment response. Depending on the company, I'll be ignored or I'll end up in a lovely dyadic conversation amid all the chatter. Usually I'm ignored. I don't go to chat often.

I sometimes like to condemn myself with the judgment that I'm boring and dull because I have certain communicative proclivities, but then in more generous moods, I recognize I'm just a certain kind of expression and some will value it and some will not, just as I tend to value certain types of conversation and not others. It's not about inherent worth, just about what's valued by a certain audience.

On finding connection with posts, is it possible the distance of a few expressions in carefully constructed internet forum posts leaves enough room around whatever you admire or connect with for you to construct what you want/need to see in that available space? As you engage further and find out more about the people perhaps they turn out to be their own complex people who have elements you would not have chosen for them in your imagination? I'm not sure if I've explained that correctly, but I fear that the room left for imagination in a few posts from behind the screen of a computer is great enough to cause disappointment when more than a superficial hologram of a real person slowly emerges and shatters a jointly created illusion.

INFJ or INFP, you are like no one else. I'm guessing you know this in an outer layer of understanding, but perhaps some inner part of you is still hoping for the affirmation of seeing your reflection in someone else?

 

I'm so glad it made sense.

 

For some reason I feel like I relate to this, small talk never really flows for me, no matter who the company is.

 

First off, welcome to the boards! You'll fit in on here in no time flat. The good news is, we're not just INFJs here. We're also INFPs, INTPs, ENTPs, INTJs, ISTJs, ISTPs, and a few others sprinkled for fun. As for chit chat...well, it's mostly an introvert thing for people who don't enjoy chit chat, but some introverts like chit-chat more than others. We're all different degrees of our personalities. I happen to think ISFJs are very chatty folk.

If you're still debating if you're an INFP or an INFJ I strongly suggest you read this thread: http://forum.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=662 It's chock full of great info comparing the two.

Good luck, and have fun!

 

I don't like chat rooms either.

 

I understand where you are coming from Poet, I am an INFJ,but I feel as though I just do not understand what some poster here are talking about. I am not book smart. I graduated from the school of life. Have the time I look up "big words" on dictionary.com. I know some,but other I do not,but I enjoy learning them.

They say that we are good in school. I never was, I hated it..but it wasn't just the learning part,it was the whole process of getting up early,crowds of people,the clicks..etc...

I lurk a lot because I feel as though I do not have something "smart" to say. Though I have always been the one to sit on the side and watch/listen to other people.

I seem to be a thread killer *shrugs*

 

Aw

 

About to say something silly:
Perhaps we don't interact or click easily because we are introverts.

Extrovert/Extrovert - few communication barriers.
Extrovert/Introvert - communication barriers on the side of the introvert.
Introvert/Introvert - communication barriers from both parties.

 

Haha I love that, perfect!

 

Thank you,but it does seem to happen on quite a few boards

 

I seriously doubt it's your responses, most threads simply die when they've run their course, it's hard for one poster to change that unless they're making a huge impact.