How do you know when someone is hitting on you? | Page 9 | INFJ Forum

How do you know when someone is hitting on you?

aerosol said:
I do this all the time, no matter who I'm talking to. :-O
I think I appear flirtly without wanting to, haha.
I've noticed I'll either do that or I'll give off a really nervous feel for no reason. Or a mix of both.
Ah, never can I just be normal in social situations.
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Unwanted when your just being yourself, and externalising feeling, can make people think your in love with them or flirting when your just being yourself and trying to make people feel at ease. May sound a bit fake but I think it really does come from a genuine place. Sometimes I'm really surprised when people come on to me and I don't think I've made any special undertones in that way. Very awkward, although I don't realise until it's already happened. Sometimes other types are also like that and it's all alright because everyone knows where everyone is coming from!
 
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I don't know but I absolutely can't stand people flirting just for the sake of flirting. I just won't do it. I know men have seen me as too serious when they're obviously flirting, they're obviously married, and I respond in a very monotone, serious or just non reactive fashion. Not in a nasty way, just a serious way. It usually has them change into a serious discussion with me or they find an excuse to walk away.
I don't want to have feelings that are there just for the fun of it, nor have others fall for me or have feelings for me just for the sake of it.
 
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infj1357 said:
I don't know but I absolutely can't stand people flirting just for the sake of flirting. I just won't do it. I know men have seen me as too serious when they're obviously flirting, they're obviously married, and I respond in a very monotone, serious or just non reactive fashion. Not in a nasty way, just a serious way. It usually has them change into a serious discussion with me or they find an excuse to walk away.
I don't want to have feelings that are there just for the fun of it, nor have others fall for me or have feelings for me just for the sake of it.
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yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But very few feel this way. Not that I'm opposed to fun flirting, but it will annoy the heck out of me if it doesn't go anywhere. There should be some interest behind it or I end up hating myself for giving in and enjoying it. I think this happens because when I like or crush on someone, I get attached easily, flirting only amps up feelings of interest. It's tough to get all riled and then be like, "K. That was nice. Bye."
 
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I don't know if people flirt with me...I mean I tend to joke around like a pubescent boy a lot of the time but I don't even think I know how to flirt.

If I touch you while we are talking you know I'm interested because I'm not a touchy person. Or I just flat out say, "I totally have a bit of a crush on you" because then there is no confusion.

This is probably why I never dated. :blush:
 
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Fun story ... I was on a work trip, hanging out in my coworkers hotel room going over work stuff enjoying some pizza and beer ... somehow we get on the topic of porn and then next thing I know we are sitting there watching Pirate Porn and its hilarious. I was also texting with one of my girlfriends at the time and she was like, um Jet, dude is totally trying to hook up with you ... at which point I was like what?!?!? and then just mid sentence was like okay I'm off to bed bye!

Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot who apparently doesn't realize that watching drink and watching porn with a dude in his hotel room is something more than just being friendly.

:m190:
 
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Honestly, I've given up trying to figure this out. I will confuse someone being nice for someone showing interest. :D My intuition sucks. Unless someone tells me directly, that they're interested, I'm doomed. Yep, I'm just clueless like that.
 
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Gist said:
Honestly, I've given up trying to figure this out. I will confuse someone being nice for someone showing interest. :D My intuition sucks. Unless someone tells me directly, that they're interested, I'm doomed. Yep, I'm just clueless like that.
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I'd still have to double clarify. I know you like me...but do you *like* like me?!?

So we just made out, that's a good thing right?

You hi fived me back, that's a sexy thing yeah not just for bros.


Good gods I'm hopeless lol!
 
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And this is why you introverted ladies have the edge. I'm so outgoing and friendly with zero self esteem outside of a work environment, and no cute bearded nerdy guy in a sweater vest is ever going to flirt with me. *cries*
 
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Jet said:
And this is why you introverted ladies have the edge. I'm so outgoing and friendly with zero self esteem outside of a work environment, and no cute bearded nerdy guy in a sweater vest is ever going to flirt with me. *cries*
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I find that it's the silences and prolonged gaze with a smile that gets 'em.

No self esteem required.
 
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infj1357 said:
I find that it's the silences and prolonged gaze with a smile that gets 'em.

No self esteem required.
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Like this?
images
 
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