How do you know when someone is hitting on you? | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

How do you know when someone is hitting on you?

When your good friend says (bro, he's totes hitting on you)
 
I usually.... realize quite quickly... You somehow just "notice" that things aren't adding up. Things being said, things being done, things that are supposed to be thought. when those are out of balance there usually seems to be an ulterior motive somewhere.

I guess... it's more a feeling you have? I don't know... whenever someone is out of line you just get the "feeling" something is up (sometimes literally, lol).

But I guess I have to be honest you never know 100%~ I mean, these are only instances where I notice. But usually hints are really obvious. (I often wonder why people call them hints in the first place)

Although, usually I play the oblivious one whenever I notice.... things aren't adding up. I know it's horrible! But what are you supposed to do then?
 
Sonyab said:
This! I am terrible. My sisters still tease me about the really handsome Hawaiian guy that hit on me at work and I was totally clueless. I was working the return desk at a large retail outlet that makes you wear red, and he came in to return an item. I was doing the transaction and he said, Do you need my phone number? I said, no the system doesn't need a phone number. He said, Are you sure you don't need my phone number? Me--Oh no, no phone number. A few hours later at lunch I was like, wait a minute....
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wow, you made my day...:):):)
But in a good way!
 
Seraphim said:
I wish you'd stop pointing that out as if it's the dumbest thing anyone has ever said. All I said was that ESFPs often (not "always") seem like they're flirting even though they're not trying to. I doubt many people who have known a lot of ESFPs would argue that.

Oh, and when i said it, it was relevant to the thread, unlike your snarky comment.
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By "non-answer," I was referring to how it demonstrates how to tell if someone isn't hitting on you, but not if they are. I wasn't trying to project it in a negative light, although I can see how it looks like that. I edited my post above. Thanks for pointing this out.
 
TheLastMohican said:
Most hammers hit on nails. I wonder where you would find one that hits on people?
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TLM you're just tryin' to get back at me for nominating you with DrShepard
 
Siamese cat said:
I guess it's a mixture of body language interpretation and a little voice in the back of my head saying "someone's paying attention to you". I'm a good flirt so I tend to recognize it when I see it, even when it comes to people who are bad at it.
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The problem is- being objective.
It is not always issue. If it is not about me, I can perfectly tell if someone hits on somebody.
But if I am really really intersted, I walk between two corners:
1. I think that it is just way of someone's behaviour and it is not about me.
2. I thnik that I see signs of hitting even there where it is really just someone's regular behaviour.

I guess that being observer is far more comfortable role for me...
 
Jana said:
The problem is- being objective.
It is not always issue. If it is not about me, I can perfectly tell if someone hits on somebody.
But if I am really really intersted, I walk between two corners:
1. I think that it is just way of someone's behaviour and it is not about me.
2. I thnik that I see signs of hitting even there where it is really just someone's regular behaviour.

I guess that being observer is far more comfortable role for me...
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I think it also has to do with self-perception, for a long time I thought when people gave me compliments they where making fun of me. Like if someone would say "nice shoes" I would think "Are they making fun of my shoes?" It's crazy I know lol.
 
Sali said:
I think it also has to do with self-perception, for a long time I thought when people gave me compliments they where making fun of me. Like if someone would say "nice shoes" I would think "Are they making fun of my shoes?" It's crazy I know lol.
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Yeah, +1. I rarely take compliments at face value. Actually, I used to get really annoyed because i was concerned about the motives behind them. In the end, I took them too seriously. I am not a fan of false compliments, even if they're said just to be charming or break the ice, but i just accept them now, and move on. Don't give them any real significance.
 
I can't give a compliment without appearing really creepy.
 
I'm so sarcastic, most people don't think I'm giving a compliment when I do. It's like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Use your sarcasm with caution.
 
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Good thread. I'm pretty oblivious. Friends have had to spell it out for me and often times I'm too shy, oblivious, or disinterested. I've decided to embrace my singleness and go with it.
 
  • She makes eye contact and maintains it.
  • She genuinely smiles.
  • She tilts her head to one side.
  • She touches or adjusts her hair.
  • She reduces the amount of personal space between her person and your self.
  • She engages in quick non-lingering touch of your hand, arm, or shoulder.
  • She engages in discussion that is open-ended.
Stuff like that. But then there is stuff like:

  • She shoots a rubber band at you.
  • She shares her poetry with you.
  • She shares something she finds funny with you and expresses that she has expectation you
 
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Off topic:
[MENTION=947]aeon[/MENTION], you are about to break 1000 posts. What do you want to say?
 
Have you ever been it that awkard sort of situation where you can't say it is hitting on, but something is just not flirtfree...Very awkard...
 
No idea! I can never tell when someone is flirting. I just always think they are being nice. Or like today when A girl was staring at me through all of class I asked her if something on my face. She blushed and then walked away. I am oblivious to anything like that. It makes endless amusement for others.
 
Whenever someone steals my hat and puts it on their head. Even though it pisses me off everytime they do it, I know they are flirting, so I just let it go. Occasionally though, I'll tackle her and beat her with a stick.
 
aeon said:
  • She makes eye contact and maintains it.
  • She genuinely smiles.
  • She tilts her head to one side.
  • She touches or adjusts her hair.
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I do this all the time, no matter who I'm talking to. :-O
I think I appear flirtly without wanting to, haha.
I've noticed I'll either do that or I'll give off a really nervous feel for no reason. Or a mix of both.
Ah, never can I just be normal in social situations.
 
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