DJ...that's no fun!
****
All I wanted was a donut. I saw the sloppy human drop the gooey goodness - raspberry filling! My favorite! - onto the floor. I ran to devour it, but he shooed me away and wiped it up with a towel. All that was left was a sticky floor and so I licked it pitifully and absently, my eyes full of remorse and longing. He ignored me, though.
Stupid monkey.
It really is a dog's life.
Could anyone have really blamed me for what happened next? I mean, I know I'm a Great Dane, but the rest of the donuts were on the counter and in my easy reach. All I needed to do was just carefully tiiiiip the box over with my nose which I did. As soon as the human went to the bathroom, WHAM, those donuts were mine. I gobbled them all up and nudged the box near the trash (I'm a good doggie!).
Unfortunately I didn't count on the human wanting another donut. Nor did I realize that all that powdery goodness was on my nose. Nor did I realize that the donuts really were too sweet for my digestion, and I began hacking the donuts back on the carpet.
The human didn't like that very much.
And that's why I'm tied up, outside, in the rain.
*Sigh.*
Well I guess the lord giveth and he taketh away.
New story: "The birds were busy... My father laughed."