2) When you're interested in someone, or realise that you're attracted to someone, does that inner voice ever go, "You should totally go for it!" ?
Sadly, my image of self is still extremely unstable, despite a heavy amount of progress, and
so I've always had a strong nagging voice saying that I'm still not good enough for the other person, that I'd simply be a burden. As far as the other side of things goes, I've had short bursts of confidence in those situations, but with the track record of how they've ended, I tend towards being apprehensive about letting myself get up that confidence.
4) Do you find that for you emotional attraction comes before physical attraction? Do you think that perhaps this is the reason why infjs end up falling for their friends?
Almost entirely, which many friends have noted is a bit intimidating a trait to have to face from the other side of the fence./QUOTE]
Well i hope you learn to make that nagging voice weaker, so that it doesn't
really affect your self-esteem as much. I though about using a monkey emoticon, but they sorta scare me!
And yes, i can imagine your friends being a bit intimidated, as i think that a lot of people are a bit cynical about going from being friends to partners.
It's very rare that I'm interested, actually. And often times, when I am, it's to all the wrong people. So no, the inner voice just sighs and taps its fingers impatiently until it goes away.
I classify them as two distinct flavors, really. I end up falling when both coincide nicely, although emotional attraction can often create or enhance physical attraction to me. And yeah, I think that could very well be a reason why INFJs fall for their friends. That, and trust.
I get that feeling, sometimes, but that's just me. I don't think anyone's really "destined" to be alone. But often times, it almost feels like I was meant to be that person that helps someone get on the right track, or teaches them an important lesson/skill/moral/etc., or be someone to lean on, until they can move on to find someone they can keep forever. Like an in-between person, rather than the desirable end.
I agree-i also find myself rarely interested in someone.
I never thought about the emotional/physical attraction as being a coincidental occurrence, but the way you put it makes
perfect sense! Unfortunately, this often takes time.
I think that everything in life is meant to help a person's growth-mentally, emotionally and spiritually, but it would be nice if everyone got their desirable end. But i don't really know, i think i'll just wait and see what life brings me.
Nope. I'm 19 and I'm not sure when 'teenage years' ends but I don't feel like one any more. That non experience makes me feel that, being an introvert, I have missed out on life. Although thinking that makes me think "What's the point of living?", the future is gonna be awesome. My career and my goals are gonna take me far.
Yeah it does. It's rare for me to feel anything for anyone so all hell breaks loose when it does happen.
Never been out with anyone so I wouldn't know. I have tried to go after a girl after knowing her for the space of about... 3 days. It got very weird and I felt like something was developing but, she didn't give a shit about me.
I dunno, I take physical attraction seriously. I like attractive women. However, the emotional is most important. If I get to know someone online and they happen to be hot, it's win/win, like right now!
I don't think we're meant to be alone. We're in a position which makes it very difficult for us to be accepted, included and understood in life. That doesn't mean there is some kind of force that dictates we must have this stoic "self-completeness". It's a good excuse, one I've used many times over the years but just irrelevant at the end of the day.
I think that maybe using the fact that we're introverts is just an excuse, and i don't think you should feel as if you have missed out on life. It probably is harder for us than it is for extroverts, but it's not impossible. I'm turning 18 soon, and i also have not dated anyone-but i don't feel bad about it, because i could have had relationships just for the sake of being in one, but that's not i want, and i don't want to start dating until it feels right. So for the moment, i'm working on self-improvement.
On a more positive note, it's nice to know that sometimes that inner voice does give the green signal, and i wish you luck for your developing romance!
I agree, it probably is just an excuse, but i don't think i've had enough experience to be able to form a proper opinion.
2)When you're interested in someone, or realise that you're attracted to someone, does that inner voice ever go, "You should totally go for it!" ?
Yes, it does, and it is often met with an external voice that goes "We should just be friends!" or "You'll meet the right girl someday" or an equally pointless and depressing response.
5) Do you think that maybe we're destined to be alone?
I don't think that INFJs are destined to be alone, but I'm afraid that I might be destined to be alone.
I'm sorry, but i couldn't help but laugh at your response to question number two, and now i feel a bit bad! But yes, you're young, so you shouldn't be making any plans to live your life alone-not now, anyway.
Because of this awareness of being so different, and of the sense that I am spiritually able to connect with others in a loving way,
I have always felt I could help others become their best. Therefore, leaving me at a loss for accepting trust that should I ever stop questing to grow and reflect that to others and settle down to live a 'normal' life, then I am not fulfilling my responsibilities to the future.
Oddly enough, I have always wanted to settle down and feel safe with another in love who would feel perfect for me, but I am all too well aware,
that there is a "littlest hobo" in me, that reminds the other side that there is a world out there and I need to explore it and keep on growing, learning, loving and teaching...
My connections I have felt compelled to make with others, however powerful the desire to share love has been for me, has rarely manifested and settled to the thought of romantic love,
but rather as a form of Universal love as we are all spiritual beings.
To me, this is the highest form of intimacy, and there is no need to fear another's contemplations, actions or negative potentials.
(in other words, if I'm single, I'm not looking, although I'm needing, I simply end up hearing "NO" and share and recieve love through peace and respect with others).
Hope my post made some sense to a few, lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfZUxPF7AMI maybe this song I love so much, will help explain it.
I think that i also have a "littlest hobo" in me (btw, i might just steal that term, i think it's awesome!) but i think that we also deserve someone who
can bring out the best in us, just like you say you can in other people- and i'm sure this is something which is common in all infjs.
I've never thought of love as "Universal love" before-you've really given me something to think about.
And finally your post did make sense, and chasing cars is a great song, i can see why you feel like you can relate to it.