ESFPs

Soulful

Soulful

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I have recently encountered an ESFP, perhaps the second person I've identified as such who's had a greater presence in my life than just that of a passing glance, and I'm a little mystified by this personality type. I'd be very glad to learn more about them.

Disclaimer: Of course I understand people are individuals and identification with a certain type does not guarantee a certain set of personality features, etc. But in general:

What have your experiences been with ESFPs?

Do you find it easy to find a middle ground with them, or a way of interacting that suits the interests, needs, and styles of both parties? (I'm predominantly thinking of INFJs and ESFPs).

Given the nature of their tendency to be very "in the moment", aware of their surroundings, and very quick and spontaneous in how they speak and interact with others, is it likely that they get bored or annoyed with the types of people who are more likely to speak cautiously, deliberately, and meaningfully? (i.e. INFJs)

I'm shamelessly asking for loads of info about this personality type. Let's talk! (please) :)
 
Ni doms almost always go great with Se doms because they're like opposite ends of the spectrum, like Fi-Te, Ti-Fe and Si-Ne. So there is lots of room for growth and both parties typically enjoy similar things together. Purely by the numbers, it'll be a great relationship.
 
lol, thanks. it's not a relationship. Although I can understand why it may seem as though it is. I realize I sound a little keen and enthusiastic... :P

I find them fascinating because they are essentially a newfound reality for me to figure out. i just don't know how someone with those general characteristics would respond to me (with general infj characteristics). i can definitely see how the differences between us may generate possibilities for growth. [MENTION=2259]Kmal[/MENTION] can you explain a bit more about how would those differences also result in us liking the same things? it seems as though the things they thrive at (Se, Fi) are not at all within the typical INFJ skill set and the things that interest the INFJ may not sustain the ESFP...
 
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Soulful said:
lol, thanks. it's not a relationship. Although I can understand why it may seem as though it is. I realize I sound a little keen and enthusiastic... :P

I find them fascinating because they are essentially a newfound reality for me to figure out. i just don't know how someone with those general characteristics would respond to me (with general infj characteristics). i can definitely see how the differences between us may generate possibilities for growth. @Kmal can you explain a bit more about how would those differences also result in us liking the same things? it seems as though the things they thrive at (Se, Fi) are not at all within the typical INFJ skill set and the things that interest the INFJ may not sustain the ESFP...
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They want their Ni to be strengthened much like the INFJs here and the INTJs at INTJf want their Se to be strengthened. It's not as perfect a duality as ESTPs, but their weaknesses are essentially your strengths, and yours theirs. I've had many deep relationships with ESFPs. We would go spells of just leisurely hanging out talking and theorizing, and then go on spells of heavy socializing house to house meeting all kinds of people and exerting our selves physically and socially. You both bring something to the table and the relationship can be very fruitful. Now, their interests dont align with ours quite as well as the ESTP, yet it's very close and is managable enough to have a lasting, constantly beneficial relationship. If only platonic :P
 
Kmal said:
They want their Ni to be strengthened much like the INFJs here and the INTJs at INTJf want their Se to be strengthened. It's not as perfect a duality as ESTPs, but their weaknesses are essentially your strengths, and yours theirs. I've had many deep relationships with ESFPs. We would go spells of just leisurely hanging out talking and theorizing, and then go on spells of heavy socializing house to house meeting all kinds of people and exerting our selves physically and socially. You both bring something to the table and the relationship can be very fruitful. Now, their interests dont align with ours quite as well as the ESTP, yet it's very close and is managable enough to have a lasting, constantly beneficial relationship. If only platonic :P
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That sounds lovely.
Like a good challenge...
 
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[MENTION=407]Soulful[/MENTION], too busy to answer the questions you posed properly right now, but here is some stuff i posted on a different thread about esfps, sorry if its out of context.
http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=20959

I have a few good friends and colleagues that are ESFP. I do appreciate and admire the way they approach life, and how they take many things at face value. Reading in to everything is tiring and overated. Simplicty can be beautiful. All the ESFPs I know are also very quirky, friendly, good natured and go to many lengths to maintain group harmony. Its amazing how much detail they notice around them. I think INFJs have much to learn from ESFPs.

I know one that is highly intelligent and does have a great deal of depth, not in a philosphical way, but instead has a deep love and appreciation for the world and living in the moment.
Another of my ESFP friends is really shy but she makes such an effort to talk to everyone and doesnt judge anybody. I used to work with a ESFP male that was extemely selfish, self absorbed and shallow, but I dont think he was representative of ESFPs.

One of my business partners is ESFP and he studied law because he was pushed into by his family while he was younger. He did extremely well, but never had the heart to actually practice law because of his loving nature. He has built 4 successful businesses for himself now simply by the excellent way he can befriend people, his easy going nature and his willingness to be hard working and practical. I love him dearly and think he is wonderful but I have been annoyed at him a few times for being too passive, naive and spontaneous. He is a great businessman, so he is pretty well organised but I found I had to push him a lot to get things done on time. I pretty much had to direct him and tell him what to do. I didnt enjoy this because I hate telling people what to do and being responsible for them, but he didn't seem to mind though.
Although he tries to be honest, it is always more important for him to keep the peace and get along with everyone. I often misinterpreted his indirect nature as dishonesty, but I realised in time that he was being honest to himself by keeping the peace. He is non-confrontational to a fault though. I had to take the defender role quite a few times so that others wouldnt take advantage of him.
What I love most about him was his sponataniety and the fact that he was up for anything. A lot of fun to be around. And very 'easy' company.

I dont know if I would be interested in dating an ESFP though. I get along really well with them and enjoy doing things with them but I crave deeper converstaions about the things that are close to my heart. I love talking about politics, science, philosophy, religion, spirituality, and human nature and while my ESFP friends will tolerate this for a while, they seem unwilling to engage about these topics for long. Sometimes my friends just start looking really bored or they will just change the subject when it gets too heavy. The same as when Im out partying with ESFPs, I have fun for a while and thoroughly enjoy myself but then I need to retreat into a corner and just space out for a while. I love ESFPs in moderate doses.
 
My best friend is an ESFP and she's one of the coolest people I've ever met. We get along very well, probably because of the whole Ni/Se-bringing-out-each-other's-last-function thing. My favourite thing about her is that she can completely live in the moment and doesn't try to over-analyze everything the way I do :p
 
Soulful said:
I have recently encountered an ESFP, perhaps the second person I've identified as such who's had a greater presence in my life than just that of a passing glance, and I'm a little mystified by this personality type. I'd be very glad to learn more about them.

Disclaimer: Of course I understand people are individuals and identification with a certain type does not guarantee a certain set of personality features, etc. But in general:

What have your experiences been with ESFPs?

Do you find it easy to find a middle ground with them, or a way of interacting that suits the interests, needs, and styles of both parties? (I'm predominantly thinking of INFJs and ESFPs).

Given the nature of their tendency to be very "in the moment", aware of their surroundings, and very quick and spontaneous in how they speak and interact with others, is it likely that they get bored or annoyed with the types of people who are more likely to speak cautiously, deliberately, and meaningfully? (i.e. INFJs)

I'm shamelessly asking for loads of info about this personality type. Let's talk! (please) :)
Click to expand...

I'd like to answer but I honestly don't understand any of the questions. Which I guess answers at least one of them... maybe.
 
88chaz88 said:
I'd like to answer but I honestly don't understand any of the questions. Which I guess answers at least one of them... maybe.
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Thanks Chaz!

I'm wondering what your experience with INFJs is like. Do their more cautious/contemplative and less spontaneous personalities tend to feel like they're slowing you down? Does that become annoying?

Other than Dove, do you enjoy spending time with INFJs? What kinds of differences have you noticed between yourself and them as far as friendship goes (communicating, interacting, etc.)

Aside from my post, is it generally easy to understand what we mean when we explain ourselves, or does it sound like we're talking about magical unicorns or such?
 
I've been friends with an ESFP for almost 10 years. The last few years of our friendship has been especially amazing since we're starting to truly learn a lot from each other. He has hopes and dreams for the future and I am better at recognizing my purpose in the present.
 
I have had 2 closer relationships with ESFPs. One positive the other more middle groundish.

Ill start with the middle groundish one. It was a few weeks into college and she was in most of my classes. She asked me one day, pretty much out of the blue if I wanted to go eat pizza with her after class and I did. That was it for her, she considered me a friend after that. Id say she was a decent person, but she was too self absorbed for my liking so I let it fall asleep after a year when she went abroad anyways.

The other experience is a bit different. I had been friends with this ESFP since kindergarten up into highschool. And now we ve both sorta let it fall asleep, but if we meet we have a good chat. So there arent any hard feelings.

As to how her character is: She is a very decent person imo. Even though in some cases she rubs my Fe the wrong way, because she uses Fi, so doesnt stick to the outside norms. That didnt happen too often though and I could deal with it.

She has a lot of friends. To her theyre all friends, but to me most of them seem more like aquaintances. She is proud that she has a lot of peoples phone numbers on her mobile.

She is generous, when it comes to material things.

When we were in highschool she was a very good friend to me. She used to comfort me when I was lovesick etc. Later on that changed a bit, she became more self absorbed which is one of the reasons why Im totally fine with not seeing her much anymore. Im not sure why that happend. She wasnt always like this, or maybe my memory is just wrong? I dont know.

She talks a lot. She is extremely outgoing and loves to go out party and do things. She makes new friends almost anywhere she goes.

She is not judgmental of peopel at all. Something I really like about her. But its also a disadvantage, its gotten her into a lot of trouble with the wrong guys and friends.
 
oceanbreeze said:
What have your experiences been with ESFPs?
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I find them entertaining as I watch how they live, as they are very different to how I prefer to live. Perhaps sometimes to my detriment. We have seem to have very different tastes in conversation, though. We also tend to have very different views as to what constitutes a worthy goal or strategy.

I the past I have at times lost respect for their ability use of long term conservative strategy or to use resources efficiently and effectively. However, most of them are not stupid and also seem to have decent social presence and ability, and an infectious sense of fun most people seem to appreciate.

To me, when it is no work and all play, ESFPs are fun. When work or an organized effort enters the picture, they seem to prefer to roll in the opposite direction I prefer to roll at times.
 
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