Envy of Physical Attractiveness

[Arsal]

This isn't a backhanded attempt to fish for complements. I do not care for that.

It's a thread about recognizing what constitutes as "good looks" generally, not meeting those standards and consequently, feeling envious of those who do.

I've been turned down based solely on my looks. I've been judged for physical deformities and such, and blatantly given the "pity look" when I tell them my acne doesn't go away, despite my best attempts and their best advice. This leads me to believe that physical attractiveness is not, in fact, entirely subjective and possibly has an objective component to it. After all, aren't some people deemed attractive by a larger number of people and some people deemed attractive by a few selected individuals?

For example, how many people who consider this person attractive?

Compared to this:

(both randomly googled)

One would generally be seen as more sexually attractive than the other.

I wonder why this happens; why certain people are more attractive than others, or why certain physical features are deemed more attractive than others. I'm also curious to see how many people can relate to this sentiment of envy and why isn't this considered natural e.g. usually the response to admitting to not being attractive is almost hostile in asserting that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, that's fine, so then explain why one person is more widely seen as attractive than another person, and how this isn't evidence of an objective criteria?

Thoughts and opinions.

PS. Not an emotional advice thread.

 

[Kmal]

i think your attracted to whoever would bear the best child with you; ie the 'healthiest.' physicall, at least -- mentally it's quite different.

 

[TigersGoRAWR]

I know a few people who are jealous of others because of their figure, but they don't realise that they have an amazing figure themselves. I always tell them to be proud of who they are, and not to be jealous of others. Jealousy has to be one of the worst feeling ever...

I dislike the typical "blonde hair, big boobs and big bum" look which guys seem to go for these days. Obviously, I know some men are attracted to this look, but I feel sometimes that they dont look past what they see on the outside. I also feel that some men are pressured into liking this, by hanging around with a certain group of friends, maybe.

I guess some features are more attractive than others because its just the type of person they would go for. Its almost like a "click" in a way.
However, I feel that personality is more important than looks. I always have had this opinion. Its such a great feeling when you have a powerful bond with someone...

 

[DevilDoll]

Some of it is biological. However, I think as our societies have evolved it has become less biological and more sociological. If you look back over the past 100 years you will notice that what is seen as "attractive" to most people changes. It trends like fashion does. One minute something is in and the next it's out. I think it also has to do with what we see as we grow up.

 

[Peppermint]

Conditioned attraction.

 

[Odyne]

(both randomly googled)

Definitely the other guy, because I don't think I'll ever go for a 404 error.

 

[aerosol]

jonah hill is pretty hot because he has an awesome, humble personality

 

[Wyote]

It's all about fertility and symmetry. With a dash of pheromones.

 

[WellNoWonder]

Conditioned attraction.

Yep. I agree. I've been attracted to all sorts of people of both sexes, all races, so on and forth. And it's not anything sexual on my behalf. I recognized pretty early in life that media was on some bullshit, telling us what we should like. Pretty much gone with my gut from that point onward.

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

Regina Spektor is HOT

Yes some people are just better looking than others. It's not subjective. Some people are ugly, some are pretty, some are handsome. Simple as that.

The good thing is that personality can make a person attractive. I have met pretty girls that when I first see them I'm like "daaaamn she's the girl of my dreaaams". But then I realize they are shady, materialistic, or dumb and they lose their physical attractiveness. Next thing you know I'm looking at her and thinking "her teeth are kinda fucked up and she has a big nose, I never realized that before".

Good looking people are at an advantage because its easier for them to give a good first impression. People are quick to point out the good personality traits in good looking people, even if they don't realize they are doing it. But if the good looking person is a scumbag it will eventually be revealed and they will become unattractive.

The same concept works vise versa. Girls that are initially unattractive can become attractive if they are hella cool.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Yeah, personality can make you perceive someone as more attractive. But that still doesn't even things out. There are incredibly good-looking people who are actually nice and have great personalities. No unattractive person would stand a chance against someone like that, no matter what a good person they were.

I disagree. I think if you see someone as being a beautiful person, then naturally the sight of them will be associated with beauty, even if it otherwise wouldn't have. Physically attractive people may even have a harder time in some respects, since the people who they attract will generally be those who go after the shallow characteristics of a person, and they thus become more a commodity than a person as far as relationships are concerned. Who the person is plays a far larger part in their emanation of beauty than do physical characteristics, simply for the convenient fact that this is the more important aspect of the person.

+note that the attraction of the person is relative to the perceiver; one may admit that someone is a very high quality person, but that their personality is not compatible with their own, and thus their is little attraction, despite their being an Objective perception of beauty.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

But will that person be seen as sexually attractive, compared to an objectively attractive person?

I'm not disagreeing with you, because personality definitely does make people look physically beautiful to me. But my ideals have been shot down by others enough times that I've come to admit, it doesn't work that way for most people. For most people it's much more objective than that.

Does sexual attraction, by definition, refer only to a purely physical ("shallow") kind of attraction? The opinions of most people probably reflect how shallow their minds are. You shouldn't be concerned with what people like that think to begin with.

Also: a caution on using the term "objective" to refer to common opinion, if that's how you mean it. I would use "typically" for what is typically the case, and "physically" where you mean to remove all other aspects of the person that would affect the judgement. The beauty which is emanated from the person as an object of your perception is what is meant by objective beauty, and this may extend well beyond physical characteristics. Objectivity comes from Subjectivity, in that its starting point is in the mind.

 

[acd]

To be honest, I prefer the nerdy guy in your picture.. but mostly because he seems 'safe' i.e. not the love 'em and leave 'em type.
I'm usually more wary of very attractive men than I am nerdy looking ones at first glance.
Isn't that horrible?!

 

[jyrffw54]

jonah hill is pretty hot because he has an awesome, humble personality

+1

I wish I could see teh second guy though lol

 

[Arsal]

404 guy for your viewing pleasure:

Yes, he's airbrushed, but my point remains. >.>

 

[Lurker]

Firstly people are generally attracted to "healthy" as in women being attracted to men who are virile, and men being attracted to women who are fertile, then media fills in the specifics in terms of how that should appear.

Sexual attraction is subjective and individual, what is attractive in general is less subjective and does have trends.

 

[Lurker]

A better shot of 404 error guy

Not because he's mostly naked but because it's clear to see that he is physically fit and healthy. That is attractive.

 

[DevilDoll]

A better shot of 404 error guy

Not because he's mostly naked but because it's clear to see that he is physically fit and healthy. That is attractive.

Rawr! Nothing like a guy with ink and gauges. Yummy.

 

[hk427f3]

Wow, 404 guy is gross.

 

[Siamese cat]

Without talking to them, I'd probably think that the first one looks like he might have an interesting personality, and the second one seems more groomed than I am, which might mean that he spends more time tending his looks than his other needs, which might put me off. Because I recognize that this is a generalisation and that I might be wrong, I'd be inclined to talk to either of them, to see if I'm wrong or not.

It happens that I won't think of someone as physically attractive if I can't see some personal note, something other than just looks.