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ENFJ Helpline

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by VH, Jul 25, 2009.

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  1. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    The ENFJ Helpline is now open.

    Feel free to ask me anything and everything relating to the ENFJ personality type.

    Here are a few tidbits to consider about ENFJs that may answer your question:

    ENFJ

    The Crusader, The Teacher, The Mentor, The Protector, The Visionary

    Dominant Function: Extroverted Feeling allows a person to adjust their behavior to the needs of others. Is it the ability to relate and the desire to connect with others with warmth and consideration. It draws others out and responds to expressed or unexpressed needs.

    Secondary Function: Introverted Intuition allows a person to have a sense about the future. It is the ability to grasp and get a sense of a pattern or plan. Information that is usually hard to understand and dissect is easily processed through Introverted Intuition.

    Tertiary Function: Extraverted Sensing allows a person to process life through their experiences. It is the ability to be keen to what is seen, smelled, touched, heard and tasted. It is energized by experience and it is able to live "in the moment."

    Inferior Function: Introverted Thinking allows a person to categorize and analyze data. It is the ability to identify inconsistencies, know how things work and problem-solve.

    • Rated by psychologists among 2 types least likely to have trouble in school.
    • In national sample "Leisure Activities," overrepresented in "Appreciating art," "Writing," "Listening to music," and "Reading"
    • Underrepresented in "Watching TV 3 or more hours per day."
    • Academic subjects preferred: art, English, music.
    • Among 3 highest types in national sample liking work environments with "Variety of tasks," "Teamwork," and "People from a variety of backgrounds."
    • Include in 3 most desirable characteristics "Independence and achievement."
    • Most important feature of an ideal job: "Use of my special abilities."
    • In national sample, were among those most satisfied with their work, where they work, but likely to leave job.
    • In national sample, greatest work environment satisfiers are "People I work with," "Opportunities to use talents," "Opportunity to learn," "Job security," "Amount of responsibility," and "Opportunity for societal contribution."
    • Greatest dissatisfiers were "Promotions" and "Salary."
    • Highest ranks on coping resources used were social and cognitive (ranked 3rd on both among the 16 types); ranked 3rd in total resources of the 16 types.
    • In national sample, highest in coping with stress by "Exercising."
    • In national sample, ranked highest in "Belief in a higher spiritual power."
    Most ENFJs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:


    • [*] Good verbal communication skills
      [*] Very perceptive about people's thoughts and motives
      [*] Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
      [*] Warmly affectionate and affirming
      [*] Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
      [*] Good money skills
      [*] Able to "move on" after a love relationship has failed (although they blame themselves)
      [*] Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
      [*] Strive for "win-win" situations
      [*] Driven to meet other's needs

    Most ENFJs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationships issues:


    • [*] Tendency to be smothering and over-protective
      [*] Tendency to be controling and/or manipulative
      [*] Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
      [*] Tend to be critical of opinions and attitudes which don't match their own
      [*] Sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or protocol
      [*] Extremely sensitive to conflict, with a tendency to sweep things under the rug as an avoidance tactic
      [*] Tendency to blame themselves when things go wrong, and not give themselves credit when things go right
      [*] Their sharply defined value systems make them unbending in some areas
      [*] They may be so attuned to what is socially accepted or expected that they're unable to assess whether something is "right" or "wrong" outside of what their social circle expects.
    ENFJs make up 2.5% of the US population. 3.5% of US females are ENFJs. 1.5% of US males are ENFJs.

    ENFJs are idealist organizers, driven to implement their vision of what is best for humanity. They often act as catalysts for human growth because of their ability to see potential in other people and their charisma in persuading others to their ideas. Talkative and expressive, ENFJs are adept communicators and are motivated to understand and please other people. They enjoy talking about relationships and sharing their insights about people, their emotions, and their motivations. ENFJs like to be liked and are very sensitive to feedback, both positive and negative; they take criticism quite personally. They expect the best not just from themselves, but from others as well, and tend to idealize relationships. ENFJs often play host or hostess, energetically engaging everyone in the group and making sure that a good time is had by all. They are very responsive to the emotional state of others; while their empathy is often an asset, engaging with others can also become overwhelming for the ENFJ. More than other Extroverted types, they need time alone, away from the demands of serving and caring for others.

    Popular hobbies for the ENFJ include organizing social events, reading, the arts, museums, storytelling, listening to music, writing, playing games, and gourmet cooking.

    At work, the ENFJ is motivated to organize others to implement positive social change. ENFJs are often found in leadership roles; they enjoy being able to use their creativity to develop innovative initiatives with a humanitarian goal, and they want to have the organizational resources to put their ideas into action. They are enthusiastic problem-solvers, especially when they can put their strong intuition about people to good use. They strive for cooperation and work best in a harmonious environment where they can encourage the growth of others. The ideal work environment for an ENFJ is forward-thinking and people-centered, with a clear humanitarian mission and an emphasis on constructive action. The ideal job for an ENFJ allows them to develop and implement ideas that improve the circumstances and well-being of other people.

    In leadership posiitons, ENFJs are enthusiastic, supportive, and action-oriented. They are strong leaders with clear ideas about how to improve organizations to better serve the needs of people. Although they are confident in their mission and goals, they are also concerned with cooperation, and are dedicated in pursuing the support of the people involved. They want others on board, in action and in spirit. ENFJs often take on a mentorship role; they want to help their colleagues develop as workers and as people. Although ENFJs are natural leaders, they can become discouraged in environments with ongoing conflict. They have a strong need to be liked and can become drained and ineffective in positions where they are not able to elicit support for their ideas and values.

    Popular careers
    for an ENFJ include:
    • journalist/writer
    • politician
    • interior designer
    • psychologist
    • career counselor
    • teacher
    • dean of students
    • social worker
    • librarian

    • copywriter
    • magazine editor
    • public relations specialist
    • community service director
    • nonprofit organization director
    • public health educator
    • human resources recruiter
    • customer relations manager
    • corporate trainer

    • entertainer
    • craft artist
    • graphic artist
    • minister
    • chiropractor
    • nutritionist
    • speech pathologist
    • event planner
    • travel agent
    In relationships, the ENFJ is helpful and enthusiastically supportive. ENFJ partners want harmony above all else, sometimes at the expense of their own needs. They make every effort to understand their partners and to do what pleases them. Conflict is upsetting to ENFJs; they are very sensitive to criticism and can become highly emotional and even punishing when their feelings are hurt. However, they have great insight about people, emotions and motivations; they are often able to put this talent to use in resolving things. The ideal mate for an ENFJ appreciates their compassion, support, and dedication to helping others, and makes an effort to understand the ENFJ’s feelings and values.

    Good matches for an ENFJ include other Intuitive Feeling types (ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP). Intuitive Feelers paired together have one of the highest couple satisfaction rates of all possible combinations. ENFJs also have high satisfaction rates when paired with ESFJ and ISFJ partners.

    As parents, ENFJs take an active and enthusiastic role in guiding the development of their children, setting forth clear ideas of right and wrong in a warm and supportive way. ENFJ parents are clear in their expectations and consistent in reinforcement. Because ENFJ parents have such a clear idea of proper behavior, they can take their children’s misbehavior personally, feeling that they have failed as parents; children who perceive this can take on feelings of guilt at not meeting their parent’s expectations.

    Famous ENFJs include Oprah Winfrey, Abraham Lincoln, Pope John Paul II, Margaret Mead, Ronald Reagan, King David of Israel, Ralph Nader, Dick Van Dyke, Abraham Maslow, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Interesting facts about the ENFJ:

    • On personality trait scales, scored as Active, Pleasant, Sociable, Demanding, Impatient, Appreciative, and Compromising
    • Most likely of all types to cope with stress by exercising
    • Most likely of all types to believe in a higher spiritual power
    • Ranked by psychologists as among least likely to have trouble in school
    • Personal values include Friendships, Education & Learning, Creativity, and Community Service
    • Among types highest in job satisfaction, but also among most likely to report plans to leave their jobs
    • Commonly found in careers in religion, teaching, and the arts
     
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    #1 VH, Jul 25, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
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  2. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    I thought that there was going to be a number if anyone needed anything. Like, a help hotline, but sponsered and run by ENFJs. A was getting prepared to call that number.

    I need help...
    I need a talk buddy :D
     
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  3. shannishannon

    shannishannon Saponifier
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    My sister is ENFJ-I have yet to win an argument with her- she argues rationally and dispassionately, where, well, I argue passionately and run out of "facts" quickly. So I end listening to a long discourse on whatever hobbyhorse she is on at that particular moment in time. This is what drives me crazy about her. That and her emotional neediness.
    :m133:
     
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  4. OP
    VH

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    Yes, ENFJs are superheroes.

    :m027:
     
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  5. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    A very good friend of mine is an ENFJ, I believe! We clicked immediately and share the same thoughts and opinions on very deep subject matter and values.

    My question: How do I be more ENFJ-y? As opposed to the old, run of the mill, boring ass INFJ.

    Also, can we get one of these helplines, but for ENFPs lol?
     
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  6. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Ode, the joys of ENFP....
     
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  7. OP
    VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    The answer is simple, but difficult to actually do.

    Focus on your extroverted feeling function.

    Focus on how you care about others, genuinely and sincerely. It will take some time, but the more you develop your Fe, the more ENFJ-like you will become.

    Ask Satya. Seems he's realized that he's an ENFP.

    :m139:
     
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  8. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    So I assume that being more in touch with my Fe will make me more inclined to act more caring around others. Does this in turn, bring out more of an extroverted attitude? Would it make it easier for me to be more extroverted? I mean, I care about people deeply. How my actions effect others and other people's well being is a constant importance to me. I feel, if anything, my Fe is what makes me overly emotional- on the inside at least- which leads to a lot of heartache and over exaggerations in relationships. Or is that just me being immature/nothing to do with it?
     
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  9. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Lol your enthusiasm is spectacular, Von Hase :D
     
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  10. OP
    VH

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    When Fe is backing up Ni, it can feel this way.

    The trick is to care more about others than yourself. That will put your Fe in the front seat, and yes, it will make you more extroverted. When your Ni supports your Fe, you'll know exactly what to say, how to say it, and when. Best of all, you'll develop the courage to do so.
     
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  11. OP
    VH

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    Thanks hun!

    :mlove2:
     
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  12. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Very interesting, thanks! I shall think about this.
     
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  13. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Is the key to putting Fe up front with Ni behind to be less afraid of what others think about you? Lately I've been becoming more bold about sharing what I have to offer with others, and thinking less about being judged. That seems to be causing a slight shift towards the extrovert.
     
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  14. OP
    VH

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    I would agree entirely. Introverted intuition will cause a person to focus more upon the ramifications of their actions with respect to themselves than focusing on making what you feel is important a reality, which is the focus of Fe.

    Kudos!

    I fully support everyone in actively developing their secondary, tertiary, and inferior functions. All of the truly amazing people in the world, and over the course of history have well developed functions across the board, able to utilize them all, and adapt to any situation.
     
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  15. OP
    VH

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    Also, I had another thought on the subject of developing Fe...

    What really seemed to distinguish me from INFJs was the fact that I'm more deliberate, with respect to everything, regardless of whether or not it has to do with people.

    Extroverted Feeling is an abstract, philosophical, and emotional based reasoning that is focused on how one feels things should be.

    A great way for an introvert to develop their Fe might be to be more deliberate about things that don't involve people. Focus on your feelings, and discern how you feel things should be in any mundane situation, and then take the initiative to make them so. It can be as simple as tying up a loose end, putting something where it belongs, or just making yourself increase your pace a little. Or, it could be as powerful as forcing yourself to do things you feel are right, but never bothered to do because the tasks were too daunting. All of these things will focus and develop your Fe, and can be done without interacting with anyone else.

    Ideally, Fe will lead you to take the initiative to do things for others, but that can come in time. The more you focus on your feelings for others, the more extroverted you will become. If you focus only on taking the initiative to gratify yourself, rather than making things right, you'll develop your Fi, which will strengthen your F function but will not serve to help you become more extroverted.
     
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    #15 VH, Jul 26, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2009
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  16. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    I feel the same way. Recently I've had to do things that made me extremely uncomfortable. They were social things and they most definitely strengthened my bonds with people.

    This is great, I can think of many opportunities I have at the moment to exercise my Fe in the way you suggest. Being more extroverted is definitely something I want to develop, I feel getting over certain obstacles in my life right now will require it.
     
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  17. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Do you think an INFJ/ENFJ close friendship would put both parties closer to a borderline xNFJ? When I'm around my ENFJ friend, I become more extroverted, and he, in turn, sometimes becomes more introverted, it seems. Sometimes I even question if he is INFJ rather than ENFJ, but then I realize that it might seem like that because he is pretty self-conscious and trusts me enough to confide this to me, and he seems very introverted when he does...

    And yeah.
     
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  18. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

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  19. OP
    VH

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    Absolutely.

    My best friend is an INTJ. She has had a drastic and notable effect on my Ti, and especially my Te (which in my case is Fe + Ti).

    Edit:
    And duh... she's had an amplifying effect on my Ni, which is another reason why I have seemed so much like an INFJ lately, just like how your influence brings your ENFJ closer to INFJ.
     
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    #19 VH, Jul 27, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2009
  20. OP
    VH

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    Apparently it is. I'm also a minister. I can tell by your photo that you've got the love of the Lord in you. That's a beautiful thing to see.

    I'm sorry that your dad's so compelled to help others that he sometimes puts you on the back burner. I can tell you from experience that being on an ENFJ's back burner is by no means forgotten. He feels your needs constantly, and he loves you more than any of the people that he helps.
     
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