Does Fe Drain You?

NeverAmI

NeverAmI

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Retired Staff
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INFP
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As I learn more about the cognitive functions, I learn that Fe is definitely something that drains me.

As you can see when I talk, Te controls much of what I show, which makes sense, since all my feeling is internal. I have to use Fe at work and it completely drains me.

I generally don't talk online, or to many people at all because Fe is so draining for me.

Does anyone else feel this way or have you been able to exercise your Fe to a point where it doesn't drain you so much?

I have tried to exercise it regularly but it just seems like I start to get stressed.
 
It drains me unless there is a specific way I am helping. Teaching sometimes drains me and sometimes gives me more energy which involves some Fe, but also Te I suppose. I like to feel as though I can make some sort of positive impact on the world helping people to feel stronger. It is when I am confronted with the vastness of needs or the impossibility of problems that cause hurts, or a thousand underlying tensions between people based on a myriad of distorted perceptions that I am completely wiped out by it.
 
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Sometimes I feel like I help others, not because of Fe at all, but rather because of my Fi. Like my inner feelings are attuned to others in need or trouble, and I will seek to help them, yet I don't want to connect to them. Or maybe I want to connect, but I don't want to talk. It is very much true that I show my feelings through actions rather than words.
 
Julia said:
It drains me unless there is a specific way I am helping. Teaching sometimes drains me and sometimes gives me more energy which involves some Fe, but also Te I suppose. I like to feel as though I can make some sort of positive impact on the world helping people to feel stronger. It is when I am confronted with the vastness of needs or the impossibility of problems that cause hurts, or a thousand underlying tensions between people based on a myriad of distorted perceptions that I am completely wiped out by it.
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+1
 
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It doesn't drain me too much anymore, because I use it so often. But needing to use Fe -- as in, it's in overdrive because of a situation and there's really no way to stop using it until the situation is ended -- is incredibly exhausting.
 
Yea it does...I prefer my Fi...but FE is my dominant...
 
How do you primarily connect with others? Is it through words/talking?
 
Fe only drains me when I'm using it a lot and then I stop using it. Then I am like whoa! Time to recharge.
 
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If someone comes to you in person and just randomly wants to talk, does it bother you?

Usually I get frustrated. Although my ENFP friend can come to me at almost any time and his zaniness quickly subdues my aprehensions of talking.
 
Wyote said:
Fe only drains me when I'm using it a lot and then I stop using it. Then I am like whoa! Time to recharge.
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That makes sense...seeing as how I try to bury my FE...:m190:
 
NeverAmI said:
If someone comes to you in person and just randomly wants to talk, does it bother you?
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No way, I love that... unless they just want to complain.... boring!
 
Wyote said:
No way, I love that... unless they just want to complain.... boring!
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Yea, this is entirely subjective on the person, but in general I find myself not incredibly interested in talking unless it is something wild. I feel bad being so unapproachable but it is true.

Presentation of how someone approaches me is really important.
 
Being Fe inferior, Fe doesn't usually drain me, but instead I'm oblivious to it. I just don't get it unless someone is being overtly Fe (super dramatic ESFJs...*cringe*).

Si drains me though. In fact, I've been going through an impatient phase with the Si world I have to inhabit. I had a lady get mad at me (and complained about it/asked us to stop talking when she and her SFJ friends were just gabbing away) for having an intuitive-level conversation with a coworker because her ISFJ mind didn't understand it. That's frustrating because it's what we intuitives have to go through every day. So, I basically told her (with more tact) that she was out of luck and would have to deal with it...welcome to our world.
 
NeverAmI said:
Sometimes I feel like I help others, not because of Fe at all, but rather because of my Fi. Like my inner feelings are attuned to others in need or trouble, and I will seek to help them, yet I don't want to connect to them. Or maybe I want to connect, but I don't want to talk. It is very much true that I show my feelings through actions rather than words.
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yesyesyes

I don't like it when other people come to me to talk randomly. Especially if it is all about them and I only have to node. I feel used than :becky:. I literally have to put myself open to enjoy talking. There as to be a sign on my door that says "open".
 
Julia said:
It drains me unless there is a specific way I am helping. Teaching sometimes drains me and sometimes gives me more energy which involves some Fe, but also Te I suppose. I like to feel as though I can make some sort of positive impact on the world helping people to feel stronger. It is when I am confronted with the vastness of needs or the impossibility of problems that cause hurts, or a thousand underlying tensions between people based on a myriad of distorted perceptions that I am completely wiped out by it.
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I relate to this also.

Especially when in my own private life, there seems to be a lot that is draining for me, and trying to categorize others needs in order of priority. Then there is friends, work and groceries... ;)
 
I like showing my Fe I am not sure I understand this. I am not good with Sensing. That could also be because I have ADD.
 
Duty said:
Being Fe inferior, Fe doesn't usually drain me, but instead I'm oblivious to it. I just don't get it unless someone is being overtly Fe (super dramatic ESFJs...*cringe*).

Si drains me though. In fact, I've been going through an impatient phase with the Si world I have to inhabit. I had a lady get mad at me (and complained about it/asked us to stop talking when she and her SFJ friends were just gabbing away) for having an intuitive-level conversation with a coworker because her ISFJ mind didn't understand it. That's frustrating because it's what we intuitives have to go through every day. So, I basically told her (with more tact) that she was out of luck and would have to deal with it...welcome to our world.
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Yea, I can relate to that. I get really annoyed with snobs who shut out anything but what they believe is practical and/or the "norm." I often feel very self conscious talking about certain things in a crowd because of this.
 
Not really. Seeing as it's apparently more dominant than my Ni, I suppose that would explain it. But naturally, it does get exhausting, especially when someone just bombards me with such strong emotions, particularly sadness or anything related to that.
Expect me to be extremely quiet and in dire need of recharge after that.
 
Fe only drains me when I use it around someone who totally ignores it. I need some kind of feedback and connection from it, otherwise I give off too much energy. Luckily I can usually spot it when someone won't respond to it.
 
what do you mean by "drains you"?

From my experience it only drains if:
- I try to influence people and they resist
- I'm in emotional down-wave myself

Concentrated bursts of Fe are recharging. Prolonged usage or contact with another INFJ can lead to overload :)

Julia said:
. It is when I am confronted with the vastness of needs or the impossibility of problems that cause hurts, or a thousand underlying tensions between people based on a myriad of distorted perceptions that I am completely wiped out by it.
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I learned to take just one problem at a time - that solves it. One act of kindness is not the solution to world's problems but it's better than nothing.
 
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