Does everyone deserve love?

What kind of love are we talking about?
Because if we are talking about mercy...there is nobody worthy enough to not need mercy. Thus in a fundamental sense, because we even have the concept of mercy, proves that nobody deserves love...at least one kind of love. If there really is something to be proud of when receiving mercy...is being pitiful. So the deserving part is being pitiful. kind of like "You deserve love (mercy) because you are pitiful!".
 
No one deserves love plain and simple. Loving someone is a conscious choice you have to make and it takes work it is not easy to love anyone by any means. The only reason I believe I can genuinely have love for people on some level is that I have been given the ability by my father in heaven. Outside of Him I don't think it is possible for me to love anyone in a correct sense. I believe that the love I had before salvation was quite selfish at the core. I have seen genuine love from unbelievers though so I think it was just this way for me personally. I'm not trying to say it's impossible to love without believing in God. It's just that way for me.
 
If no one deserves love, then should we not love babies as soon as they are born? Or do babies have to earn/prove their love?
 
say what said:
If no one deserves love, then should we not love babies as soon as they are born? Or do babies have to earn/prove their love?
Click to expand...
A baby gets love...but deserve it? What has it done to deserve it?
 
at least so far as people are able to plan pregnancy, i think parents have an obligation to love their children, because the world is cruel, and children did not ask to be brought into it, but parents brought them into it at least partly for the gratification of their own wishes for children.
 
Eventhorizon said:
A baby gets love...but deserve it? What has it done to deserve it?
Click to expand...

I believe everyone deserve love, just for being alive. I don't think you need to do anything specifically to deserve being loved...in fact, love is something that shouldn't be paid to someone. You shouldn't exchange it for another thing, that devalues it.

My question was for people who don't think everyone deserves love. It was more a thought I had while reading the posts! If you have to work to deserve love, than that would mean babies would never deserve love... :(
 
Ehh... I think I have a different opinion of what 'love' means than more than a few posters on here. Love to me means that you know the person, you understand them and you accept them for who they are, quarks and all. Bad tempers and when they're at their worst, you know who they are. Whether its because they've told you so much about their life that you understand why they act the way they do and don't judge them, don't care to change them, think they're still great regardless of baggage or if it is your soul mate in terms of MBTI. Granted not every ENFP is going to be great and lovable for every INFJ and the same for ENFJ and INFP and so on and so forth. Truly loving someone, understanding them and accepting them and not wanting to change a thing, is something I don't experience all that much which to me means the people around me experience even less. It is something though, when you have it for someone and so much more when someone has it for you. In that, no one deserves it. You either understand and accept me for who I am or you do not. The latter is not love, not to me.
 
say what said:
If no one deserves love, then should we not love babies as soon as they are born? Or do babies have to earn/prove their love?
Click to expand...

Babies turn into kids and kids turn into teens and then we just don't like them as much anymore :P
 
DonTaushMe said:
Babies turn into kids and kids turn into teens and then we just don't like them as much anymore :P
Click to expand...

We love them just as much, maybe more...we just can't stand them :).
 
say what said:
I believe everyone deserve love, just for being alive. I don't think you need to do anything specifically to deserve being loved...in fact, love is something that shouldn't be paid to someone. You shouldn't exchange it for another thing, that devalues it.

My question was for people who don't think everyone deserves love. It was more a thought I had while reading the posts! If you have to work to deserve love, than that would mean babies would never deserve love... :(
Click to expand...

I think when we ask these questions, we are lumping too many things in one and seeing them as the same. Expecting to be treated well by a partner especially if you are a good partner, is not unreasonable or unfair. This has nothing to do with deserving love. Love is often given without being deserved. When you are in a relationship, it's a partnership. It's an unwritten agreement to give each other your time, respect, appreciation, and attention. If someone decides to be selfish and only wants to take without giving, then they are guilty of breaking that agreement. If you supposedly care about someone, you will want to give, not just receive.

Yeah, I think "deserving" is a poor word to describe love. And I am not really sure why someone who is a great partner should not deserved to be treated well in return. That would be loving someone who say you love. Why should someone who loves someone expect to not have their partner love them through loving actions and support in return? It doesn't make sense. It's the equivalent of a one-sided relationship. This doesn't mean someone has the right to demand things of a partner against their will, or simple expect things of their partner without considering their feelings, but it's unrealistic to keep expecting someone to give so much in relationship and accept being treated poorly or ignored. Real love involves choice, but it's also about mutual respect and support. It's not about loving when you feel like it. Too many people today think love is about making decisions based on changing personal feelings from moment to moment. If you are ignoring, demeaning, or dismissive, or inattentive to your partner, they have a right to call you on it especially if you're not communicating with them. It's not always about whether or you want to give love, you need to respect that other person's right to receive love. In a relationship, you're not island.
 
Last edited:
pics said:
I think when we ask these questions, we are lumping too many things in one and seeing them as the same. Expecting to be treated well by a partner especially if you are a good partner, is not unreasonable or unfair. This has nothing to do with deserving love. Love is often given without being deserved. When you are in a relationship, it's a partnership. It's an unwritten agreement to give each other your time, respect, appreciation, and attention. If someone decides to be selfish and only wants to take without giving, then they are guilty of breaking that agreement. If you supposedly care about someone, you will want to give, not just receive.

Yeah, I think "deserving" is a poor word to describe love. And I am not really sure why someone who is a great partner should not deserved to be treated well in return. That would be loving someone who say you love. Why should someone who loves someone expect to not have their partner love them through loving actions and support in return? It doesn't make sense. It's the equivalent of a one-sided relationship. This doesn't mean someone has the right to demand things of a partner against their will, or simple expect things of their partner without considering their feelings, but it's unrealistic to keep expecting someone to give so much in relationship and accept being treated poorly or ignored. Real love involves choice, not just feeling. Too many people today think love is about making decisions based on changing personal feelings from moment to moment. If you are ignoring, demeaning, or dismissive, or inattentive to your partner, they have a right to call you on it especially if you're not communicating with them. It's not always about whether or you want to give love, you need to respect that other person's right to receive love. In a relationship, you're not island.
Click to expand...

Agree a billion percent! I posted earlier that I think love needs to be defined- we can't just think of it as romantic love, but we can't also assume all love is the same!
 
The state should assign people to love the unloveable.
 
I believe everyone is loved by someone. That love was not necessarily earned, it just is. I do believe people EXPECT to be loved and I think that expectation sets them up for heart break and bitterness.

You cannot choose who loves you. If you could, that means you have dominion over their thoughts and feelings and do not have respect for them as an individual. Just because you can check attributes, behaviours and actions off on a list does not mean that you qualify for a specific kind of love that you desire from a specific person.

You deserve love from YOURSELF. That is it.
 
Many people withhold love for varying reasons, regardless of their partner. This doesn't mean a partner is less deserving of love. The fact that someone decides that you are not deserving doesn't mean you are undeserving. Simply because someone decides not to show love doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel loved. People will have expectations of each other; it's just a matter of managing those expectations between you and the person you're committed to. It's the type of expectation you have, and what you want from the relationship that shapes whether having those expectations are a positive or negative.
 
say what said:
If no one deserves love, then should we not love babies as soon as they are born? Or do babies have to earn/prove their love?
Click to expand...

Love is undeserving, that's the whole point about it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

QuickTwist
Relationships...
2
Replies
38
Views
7K
OpenMinded
OpenMinded
F
Friend advice. Betrayal?
Replies
5
Views
594
Sloe Djinn
Sloe Djinn
Fruiteloop
MBTI Gender nonconformity in my life
Replies
14
Views
2K
Quarkmaster
Quarkmaster
Fruiteloop
The neurotypical nervous system
Replies
1
Views
151
Roses In The Vineyard
Roses In The Vineyard
meowzician
Animals we've known and loved--those are relationships, right?
Replies
14
Views
1K
just me
just me
Back
Top