Do you trust what people say? | INFJ Forum

Do you trust what people say?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Altruistic Muse, Aug 23, 2009.

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  1. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    It is very easy to listen to what someone is saying and think well why would they say this if it wasn't the truth. However I personally say things to save people's feelings, or I change how I think about things depending on my mood. So other people probably do this too.

    I think a lot of the time, particularly in relationships, people will be saying how they feel about you, talking about plans for the future, but really I know that's not what they want. Sometimes they will be in the mood where they will think that they want to be long term, I believe this. But basically if you read between the lines, observe peoples' actions as well as their words, and you listen to your intuition, it is easy to work out peoples' motives and their plans, sometimes even before they will admit them to themselves, and certainly before it comes up in conversation. Intuition is a crazy thing.
     
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  2. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    i've learned not to take many people seriously, especially in terms of what they say. i've found that because language can be a strategic tool and a form of self-expression or disclosure, how they say it often tells more than what they say and the context and overall character of the person must always be considered.
     
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  3. OP
    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I agree, I think this is how I will play things from now on. I normally doubt my intuition tbh, and I am very gullible. But even if people don't admit it, I think I am normally right.
     
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  4. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    I use my N ;)
    I love it to bits esp when interacting with people.
    so it depends if i feel they are telling the truth or not
     
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    #4 Grey Wolf, Aug 23, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2009
  5. OP
    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    It's strange, I can tell when people are lying, on purpose yno. But the more subtle problem is when people don't admit something to themselves or you. So its not an out and out lie as such, its more an inconsistency of thought and emotion, or the fact that they haven't worked out their own opinion but sometimes I know it before they do....
     
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  6. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    It depends where I'm coming from. I aim to be truthful in all my encounters and I expect this from others too.

    New people that I encounter, yes, at first, I'll take them at their word.... unless I have a very good sense that they are not to be trusted - sometimes people are haloed in darkness and there's something not right behind their eyes, their smile - but I'll still listen to them, bearing in mind that something doesn't seem right, and I'll usually still give them the benefit of doubt, to begin with.

    Friends that have proven their reliability over time, yes, I continue to trust them, but of course people can change for better or worse, and although it is harder for me to accept a trusted friend is being dishonest with me, if they repeatedly give me an indication of this I will begin to adjust my opinion of them.

    People who have repeatedly let me down, despite my best intentions towards them, I'll still try to take them at their word, but the little voice develops a cynical ring to it, until eventually, when the mysterious line has been crossed, they won't be given another chance.
     
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  7. OP
    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    It is fair enough to give the benefit of the doubt and this is what I normally do. I don't normally get a massive feeling fo "you're untustworthy" for quite a while, and I never really get close enough to people to let their faults affect me I guess either. I never judge like, you're good, you're bad, but the strengths and weaknesses of people kind of present themself in a table in my head, which can be handy.

    I guess what this question is really asking is whether we are presumptuous enough to listen to what people are saying, read between the lines, and then think that's not what you really mean, this is what you're actually thinking. Is it anyone's place to say I know you better than you know yourself, or I can see right through your act, which sometimes you ignore yourself...
     
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  8. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    I'm a fairly suspicious person. If I let myself be mislead it's usually because I'm trading it for some sort of corporal comfort/benefit.
    I usually know what people are up to...so most of the time I don't allow myself to be ruined by people. Sometimes I like a person too much to care...which is bad.

    Generally I listen to what people say, but my mind is tuned in to their underlying intentions.
     
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  9. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    I don't trust others easily.
     
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    #9 daydreamer, Aug 23, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2009
  10. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    I trust what people say, not necessarily what they do.
     
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  11. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    I'm direct and truthful, I expect the same from others. When it's proven that someone is dishonest I just discredit everything they say so it makes it very difficult for these said people to have much of a friendship with me. I don't ever confront people about lies, I just wait until they unravel themselves. And oh, how they do. They do it so sweetly.
     
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  12. just me

    just me GONE

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    Depends on too many variables. For example: the more one becomes involved in politics, the more one should expect to be tested and tried. Being honest is more important than trusting what people say.
    If we believed everything we were told, we would become robotic nutcases.

    I let one of my dogs out this morning after I told him he could not go with me. He went halfway to the vehicle, then looked back at me with this confused look on his face. He knew there was more to it than going with me, so was questioning with his logic what was going on. He realized we were going for a short walk rather than the usual ride. I have never given him a reason to not trust me, but this came with much time.

    I, therefore, trust what some people say.
     
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  13. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    It depends on the person and topic.
     
  14. Appoggiatura

    Appoggiatura Community Member

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    I don't know
    it's weird for me.
    i admit i can be easily swayed by words and trust what people say because of the emotional effect their words have on me at the outset. however, minutes later, when i have time to digest the information and effects on me, i begin to reallllllly parse down everything i was just handed. i'm then on guard with regards with what people tell me [i.e. promises or whatnot] to the point that i trust them to NOT adhere to what they said. *sigh* perhaps i am a grave cynic, but people are just too hypocritical the majority of the time :\. it's simpler and less emotionally-taxing for me to not trust anyone except for a select few.
     
  15. sassafras

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    I try not to treat people as being less honest or more honest than I am myself. In the last few years, I've learned to give people the benefit of a doubt. Unless they prove dishonest (by hunch or otherwise) I'm going to take them for their word. I accept the fact that sometimes I'm going to be disappointed, or hurt, but every once in a while, you find someone who gives you a really pleasant surprise. I love finding those types of people.
     
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    #15 sassafras, Sep 13, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2009
  16. Gaze

    Donor

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    You're right. That's likely the best attitude to have.
     
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  17. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I read in between the lines so much when anyone speaks, that honestly it really isn't a trust issue for me. It is more or less figuring out what is really meant, what is true, and what is not true. Of course, I make mistakes with this, so when I get in a pattern of that, I will ask myself quite often if I can trust them or not.
     
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  18. DeadlyPacifist

    DeadlyPacifist Regular Poster

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    I'm pretty naive. >_>
     
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  19. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    No, I don't believe what people say. I've been screwed over too many times to trust people.

    I don't have magic intuition like many people here purport to. I can see how people are lying (perhaps to themselves) if their actions don't match their words, but that is just being observant.

    Mostly though, I have no clue what people are thinking. I'm pretty naive, and I know it. I prefer it this way though to some extent because then I don't come to the realization of how sociopathic everyone is.
     
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