S
Shai Gar
Humans do not do anything without a selfish reason. All actions are selfish.
define "liking" someone
- Thread starter Gaze
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Humans do not do anything without a selfish reason. All actions are selfish.
Hmm. This is an interesting question. I don't know why I find this rather difficult to explain, but I do. But here's my two cents.
I think, to 'like' someone, you have to accept them as they are. That, of course, includes not only the things that you like about them, but also the frustrating, infuriating things that they do.
I liked someone back then, but that must've been just a combination of appreciation, admiration and a good dose of infatuation, I think. I always wanted to talk to them, to see them, be with them. When they leave the room or are not in sight, I felt deflated, as if when they left, they took away my energy. When they are there, or when they come back, I was just absolutely ecstatic.
The thing with when I like someone is that I always like the personality, not the way they look [though admittedly, if they look great, that's a nice bonus]. If I ever did 'like' someone because of how they look, it never lasts very long, and I wouldn't even call that 'like', more 'crush'; probably weird terminology, but hey.
As for whether or not I'm feeling then thinking or thinking then feeling, I don't really know. I'd like to think I'm both because I don't like going into things without knowing what it is, or where it's going. I just like being in control. However, like everyone in here has already pointed out, it really can't be controled, that liking. In engaging, I'm probably thinking then feeling, but when I'm in the relationship, I'm most usually feeling then thinking, though thinking is still there of course. It just took a backseat in a sense.
:::I figured out why this was difficult for me to explain! Heh. Because I was trying to separate liking someone and loving someone because for some odd reason, they were in the same place when I read the question- they're not of course. More often than not, I guess I like the possibility of the people. Their ideals rather than their real selves, and when I see the real selves, I get disappointed and turn away. :L
I think, to 'like' someone, you have to accept them as they are. That, of course, includes not only the things that you like about them, but also the frustrating, infuriating things that they do.
I liked someone back then, but that must've been just a combination of appreciation, admiration and a good dose of infatuation, I think. I always wanted to talk to them, to see them, be with them. When they leave the room or are not in sight, I felt deflated, as if when they left, they took away my energy. When they are there, or when they come back, I was just absolutely ecstatic.
The thing with when I like someone is that I always like the personality, not the way they look [though admittedly, if they look great, that's a nice bonus]. If I ever did 'like' someone because of how they look, it never lasts very long, and I wouldn't even call that 'like', more 'crush'; probably weird terminology, but hey.
As for whether or not I'm feeling then thinking or thinking then feeling, I don't really know. I'd like to think I'm both because I don't like going into things without knowing what it is, or where it's going. I just like being in control. However, like everyone in here has already pointed out, it really can't be controled, that liking. In engaging, I'm probably thinking then feeling, but when I'm in the relationship, I'm most usually feeling then thinking, though thinking is still there of course. It just took a backseat in a sense.
:::I figured out why this was difficult for me to explain! Heh. Because I was trying to separate liking someone and loving someone because for some odd reason, they were in the same place when I read the question- they're not of course. More often than not, I guess I like the possibility of the people. Their ideals rather than their real selves, and when I see the real selves, I get disappointed and turn away. :L
If I like someone, it simply means that I enjoy their company for reasons X, Y, Z. Whether its because I like the way they make me feel (comfortable, smart, attractive, positive, etc.), or because they can help me out somehow (I can learn something from them, they give me a competitive edge, etc). I agree that is chiefly a feeling thing. Emotion is the currency of any kind of relationship.
Great topic as alway Res. So define "like".....on the most basic level it would be just enjoying someones company for any number of reasons. As TDHT said, it could be they are funny, interestingly smart, or that they give you that sense of well being for whatever reason. The main point is they make you FEEL good. I think that answers the other question too. It starts with the feeling, the emotion. You may later start to define that feeling more using reason and logic. Why does he/she make me feel good? Why are we friends, etc?
But, again, on the most basic level its an exchange. So with that being said, Shai is right I suppose. Even the most altruistic of actions has a selfish seed at the core. You can be the most helpful person in the world, but at some level you do it because it makes YOU feel good. I still believe in my heart that this world is always a better place when we help each other out rather than look to yourself first, but we all strive to take care of our inner beings on a conscious or unconscious level.
Matching up needs, that's what "liking" is all about I think. We each give the other something they need. It can be self-serving and altruistic at the same time, and that's the real great thing about friends.
But, again, on the most basic level its an exchange. So with that being said, Shai is right I suppose. Even the most altruistic of actions has a selfish seed at the core. You can be the most helpful person in the world, but at some level you do it because it makes YOU feel good. I still believe in my heart that this world is always a better place when we help each other out rather than look to yourself first, but we all strive to take care of our inner beings on a conscious or unconscious level.
Matching up needs, that's what "liking" is all about I think. We each give the other something they need. It can be self-serving and altruistic at the same time, and that's the real great thing about friends.
When you get that fluttery feeling in your chest whenever you see them, and when you want to talk to them always. When they make you feel good, and you don't want to get away and recharge by yourself anymore, because being with them makes you feel your happiest. It's a feeling thing, most definitely.
Liking someone means I find the person interesting, entertaining, their personality and interests coincide with mine and I enjoy spending time with them. But this isn't liking someone in a romantic way, which is what I think you're talking about here.
Liking someone romantically for me means that on top of described above the person has met all of my criteria for long term compatibility (all or nothing, simple infatuation is meaningless to me) coupled with strong feelings of attachment and empathy. I've found it's easy for me to disassociate from simply liking someone, so even though feeling does come first, thinking is more crucial in whether or not I will pursue the feeling and allow it to foster.
What is liking someone as opposed to disliking someone?
And does thinking/feeling have to happen one after another? Is it possible that these things are occurring simultaneously? How does that suggestion effect your opinion on the alleged rotating axis of the planet?
And does thinking/feeling have to happen one after another? Is it possible that these things are occurring simultaneously? How does that suggestion effect your opinion on the alleged rotating axis of the planet?
Liking someone, i think is about attraction, feelings for someone which are not always definable as many here have already mentioned. Usually, liking begins with recognition of a trait or quality i think is admirable or attractive. And then a feeling develops, which turns into a desire to learn more about what that person thinks or feels.