Celibacy. | INFJ Forum

Celibacy.

Bird

Bird

Happy Go Lucky
Jul 11, 2010
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A few weeks ago the anniversary for my celibacy
came to pass.

And I didn't even notice it.


I decided a year+ ago to be celibate with my
best friend. It was her idea, she just needed
someone to support her and to help her along
the way.

Before then, I wasn't incredibly sexually active,
barely at all realistically. Especially in comparison
to my peers. There were times where it was
difficult, where my hormones were just like "now.
now. now. now. now. now. now." but I never
let myself indulge or let myself be persuaded.

Now, it's not even something I consciously think
about; having sex with someone. Before this
celibacy thing I had sex with two people and neither
of these persons I particularly cared about. When one
wanted me to spend the night so he could hold me
I nearly cried from frustration because I did not
want to be near him. I really do not see myself
ever becoming involved with someone again just
for sexual satisfaction.

What are your feelings on celibacy?

I think it has been really eye opening to me.
 
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I was celibate for about 4 years, does it matter if it was by choice or not?
 
It's not something I've considered,
but I don't think it's for me.
 
I've been celibate for almost exactly 5 years now as long as we're only referring to sex as the penis/vagina kind (some people have different definitions of celibacy.) I'd like to make the claim that it's "involuntary" or whatever but it's not really something I've put a whole lot of effort into because my social anxiety tends to run high and getting to a point of initiating such things can be stressful to me. As far as how it's effected me. Well many times I don't really think about it too much and other times I feel almost as if my brain is about to explode. There are times when I have seriously wondered if a lack of sex could literally make one go insane.
 
at one point, about twenty years ago I found that if I did not love the person I was with I began immediately loathing them post climax. That led to a period of abstinence that lasted well over a year.

During the four months of our engagement we also abstained from sex. My wife agreed to this but did not understand it.
 
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I'm one of those people who at something like this usually responds with "whatever rocks your boat as long as you don't try to make it my thing too". I certainly can see how it can be an eye opening experience, because you get to channel sexual energy into something productive, but I've always saw it as more of a channelling sexual frustration due to the lack of a good partner for sex than channelling real sexual energy. Maybe I'm wrong.

From my point of view I'd rather have someone I like to have sex with than be celibate, but that's just me. Sex can be a very good outlet and can be great for de-stressing, under certain conditions, of course.

Edit: [MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION] what do you consider under that term? Just no sex with someone, or more than that? Just curious.
 
happy anniversary [MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION]!!!


it's been longer than i'd like it to be.

though, it was so cosmic and ego shattering that if it happened to be the last time i had sex in this particular embodiment, i would not mind at all.


either way, it's gonna be a tough act to follow.
 
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I'm fine with celibacy and it can be a cleansing experience. Mind you, I don't think anyone wants to join me on my celibate road. I don't think any of you would last too long. :lol:
 
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My celibacy was helpful because before the only people
I had sex with were people I didn't care about. Not
emotionally, not really at all. It was almost like a mechanical
process when I did have sex and I never stuck around.
I've had sex with three people and only one I cared about
but things didn't go well and from that point I was not going
to be emotionally involved with others. We could have sex
but that was the extent of our relationship. We wouldn't
be friends, we wouldn't hang out, we would get together
when we wanted to have sex, have sex, and I would leave or
you would leave if you came to my house.

But I really do not see myself ever doing that again. The
sex wasn't even satisfying and the emotionless of it afterwards
always made me feel terrible, I would leave and go climb
a tree and cry.
 
Siamese cat said:
I'm one of those people who at something like this usually responds with "whatever rocks your boat as long as you don't try to make it my thing too". I certainly can see how it can be an eye opening experience, because you get to channel sexual energy into something productive, but I've always saw it as more of a channelling sexual frustration due to the lack of a good partner for sex than channelling real sexual energy. Maybe I'm wrong.

From my point of view I'd rather have someone I like to have sex with than be celibate, but that's just me. Sex can be a very good outlet and can be great for de-stressing, under certain conditions, of course.

Edit: @Bird what do you consider under that term? Just no sex with someone, or more than that? Just curious.
Click to expand...

Actually, we couldn't decide on this :) When we made our
"celibacy pact" so we looked it up the definition of celibacy
and then we looked up the definition of sex, which is
vaginal penetration so technically we could still engage in
activities like oral sex or clitoral stimulation but I never did
this. I was/am fully celibate in regards to all sexual stimulation
and not just vaginal penetration.
 
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Happy Anniversary, Bird. :)

I think I'm on 5 years. I have mixed feelings about it...
Luckily there are no decent human candidates anywhere near my vicinity, lol.
 
I was celibate for a long time, and it was both voluntary and involuntary. It was voluntary because I felt strongly about waiting until marriage, and involuntary because I didn't really meet anyone or have the chance to be with someone with whom I could be that close. I believe and wholeheartedly support celibacy because I think there are good and practical reasons to wait. But I think it's harder be celibate if sex is seen as the prize rather thana relationship. I do think waiting until you're in a committed relationship, marriage if possible, where you truly care about the person is the best way to have sexual intimacy. But I think it's also important to be realistic. I don't see sexual intimacy as a casual thing to experience with someone just for the sake of sex. Many won't agree, I'm sure. It's a very personal thing. Not something I approach lightly or casually. If I'm not going to be celibate, I'd at least want to make sure the person I'm with is deserving. So, yep.
 
4 or 5 years ago i fell intensely in love in a way that i had not previously and it came to nothing. but after that sex without love seemed like pure inconvenience and i gave up on it a few years ago. at this point my memories of it have lost clarity and it seems more like a film i watched than something i used to do.

sometimes im frustrated and lonely but when you force yourself to confront things like that i think you become more accepting and comfortable with them, and that makes you stronger.

one of the hardest things is how unlovable i have sometimes felt. sometimes i look around and all i see is loving couples holding hands. but then i think, they are in that relationship because its right for them, and im not in it because im not them.

ive learned that i could potentially be this way forever. there is a strange pleasure in having my body only to myself and not having to share it with anyone, almost like being surrounded in a glow. and ive learned what solitude is. ive learned how to be completely alone and how good it can be. when i grow much older, im afraid that i will very much yearn for solitude, and it will be difficult to balance that with someone i love, so that if i never have someone i love i think things will be alright.
 
another unexpected discovery i made is the ability to do things entirely for myself without any investment in increasing my attractiveness to others. i would never really have thought that increased personal attractiveness was so motivational. or that doing something without that motivation could be so fulfilling.
 
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The most important pink squishy opening is your smile
not your ass or vag
i think it's good to think about what makes your face smile first. Then the rest will follow.
 
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I think sex is superficial and stupid. I don't need it or want it. It's frustrating living in a world where everybody is motivated by sex and constantly thinks about it all the time when you could give zero fucks about it. So yeah. Good on you. Celibacy is awesome.
 
This thread has made me remember why I hadn't had sex for 4 years prior to a couple months ago. After my ex Jessica I went on a little sexual rampage. The idea being to get over someone is to get under someone else. I had one really fun sexual experience out of 4 which all together didn't seem worth it. I was so pissed that sex with others was so physically unfulfilling, none of them could get me to orgasm, that I said, "Fuck it! I'll do it myself!" and had been ever since. Masturbation had always been better than 'the real thing' for me. Sure, every once and a while I'd want tits in my face and a mouth on my cunt but the idea that those tits and that mouth belonged to someone who was all together annoying and aggravating killed it for me. Might be why I'm incredibly in love with myself o_O
*squints*
*shrugs*
 
Sex is interpreted differently by different people, like many other things. I'd like to think it's an expression of love between two (or more if that's your thing) people, but some folks just like to get off. I try not to judge either way.


slant said:
I think sex is superficial and stupid. I don't need it or want it. It's frustrating living in a world where everybody is motivated by sex and constantly thinks about it all the time when you could give zero fucks about it. So yeah. Good on you. Celibacy is awesome.
Click to expand...

Your response in TC totally makes more sense now.


Also, this is some kind of thread necromancy.
 
J. Cardigan said:
Sex is interpreted differently by different people, like many other things. I'd like to think it's an expression of love between two (or more if that's your thing) people, but some folks just like to get off. I try not to judge either way.




Your response in TC totally makes more sense now.


Also, this is some kind of thread necromancy.
Click to expand...

wait what response where?
 
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