Calm in the face of adversity | INFJ Forum

Calm in the face of adversity

Altruistic Muse

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Apr 6, 2009
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Just had a minor nightmare in the house (my dad hyperventilating because he's drilled through a water pipe... the main problem being he sees the house as an extension of his personality and having injured the house couldn't cope.... but that psychoanalysis is another story). Anyway, I was woken up by my dad screaming and thought something terrible had happened, as in he was having a heart attack, or had broken a leg or something! Yet somehow I came down calmly, addressed the problem, pacified my dad, got in touch with my mum and the gasboard.... I have always thought I am rubbish under pressure! But it turns out I am terrible at dealing with superficial pressure, like deadlines or presentations etc. Yet if someone else is upset or mad, I naturally become the voice of reason. Maybe I should have become a nurse afterall... hmm. Anyone else got any similar stories?
 
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Just had a minor nightmare in the house (my dad hyperventilating because he's drilled through a water pipe... the main problem being he sees the house as an extension of his personality and having injured the house couldn't cope.... but that psychoanalysis is another story). Anyway, I was woken up by my dad screaming and thought something terrible had happened, as in he was having a heart attack, or had broken a leg or something! Yet somehow I came down calmly, addressed the problem, pacified my dad, got in touch with my mum and the gasboard.... I have always thought I am rubbish under pressure! But it turns out I am terrible at dealing with superficial pressure, like deadlines or presentations etc. Yet if someone else is upset or mad, I naturally become the voice of reason. Maybe I should have become a nurse afterall... hmm. Anyone else got any similar stories?

I've noticed this in myself, and it would seem like a contradiction but it isn't. I don't think I handle stress well especially deadlines, etc., but if, as you said, someone seems flustered and overwhelmed, I tend to be a calming presence oddly enough. And this has made me question my career. I was even thinking of studying Crisis Mgmt because of this discovery. Interesting stuff.
 
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Just had a minor nightmare in the house (my dad hyperventilating because he's drilled through a water pipe... the main problem being he sees the house as an extension of his personality and having injured the house couldn't cope.... but that psychoanalysis is another story). Anyway, I was woken up by my dad screaming and thought something terrible had happened, as in he was having a heart attack, or had broken a leg or something! Yet somehow I came down calmly, addressed the problem, pacified my dad, got in touch with my mum and the gasboard.... I have always thought I am rubbish under pressure! But it turns out I am terrible at dealing with superficial pressure, like deadlines or presentations etc. Yet if someone else is upset or mad, I naturally become the voice of reason. Maybe I should have become a nurse afterall... hmm. Anyone else got any similar stories?


Oh my goodness, totally! I get flustered pretty easily in real life but the few times in my life when an actual (as opposed to imaginary) emergency occurred, I acted very calmly.

When I was a teenager my mother caught our kitchen on fire (long story) completely panicked and forgot about the fire extinguisher, and stood there screaming, and I was the one who calmly put the fire out. Your story brought back that memory! LOL!
 
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Most people would be surprised to find that their ability to endure duress is far greater than they'd ever imagine. It's only in the most extreme circumstances does one discover the true depth and breadth of what humans are capable.
 
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I think the problem is that too many people are made to feel that if they can't handle stress in one area, they won't be able to handle stress in others. In many cases, our ability to handle stress, varying levels of stress, is often situational. When I was younger, I would stress out over little things because others were doing the same, but when I got to know myself a little more, I realized I didn't need to be as stressed out about those things, nor was I unable to handle stress any worse than anyone else. In some ways, I was better at handling other types of stress compared to others.

There's also the misconception that if you're not visibly stressed out by a situation, in a way others can see, then you don't understand or get how difficult or stressful the situation really is, and that's not true.
 
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Just had a minor nightmare in the house (my dad hyperventilating because he's drilled through a water pipe... the main problem being he sees the house as an extension of his personality and having injured the house couldn't cope.... but that psychoanalysis is another story).

LOL
 
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In all seriousness. He said to me later , I thought I was dying. Bless him! It was a water pipe not a vein!
 
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Yes, this happens to me. I panic if its an imagined Fear (Ne). But in actual emergencies I'm calm and react quickly and well. Earthquakes: I shepherd everyone. My first son was born very early and I helped us get through the whole thing. It is odd isn't it.
 
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i'm still freaked in actual emergencies and i get really talkative, which is unlike me, but at the same time i'm extremely focused & do what i have to do to solve the problem. i really hate those scare moments though, the anxiety doesn't leave for a while (had such a scare just yesterday):m169:
 
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Truth Be?

I get a little freak-out from taxes but when someone's facing dying then I'm fine. I mean, I can deal with it.

I might freak out a few days later once the problem is completely dealt with and the people involved are out of danger but that's mostly a push-back from the emotional strain. I haven't really thought about it. The INFJ persons I know do tend to be really cool under pressure.
 
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My reaction depends on if I have been trained to handle the emergency, when I haven't I mentally "check out" and become useless, but when I have I cooly take care of it.

An example is at an old job of mine a lady passed out due to heat exhaustion, someone asked me to help so I asked the people around her if she was ok (clearly she was not) then I ran and told my supervisor. *facepalm*
 
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This is the one thing I noticed. I'm calm when others panic and never get why people shout in amusements rides. One thing I didn't knew is that I only panic during superficial stuff. All I know is that I panic when certain things happen but not when others are panicking lol
 
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