becomming shallow | INFJ Forum

becomming shallow

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Morgain, Aug 20, 2009.

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  1. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    Hi,



    I'm Morgan and I'm new on the forum. I'm from Belgium so I apologize for my bad English and spelling mistakes :)

    I just found out today that my MBTI is INFJ. And everything make sence now. It explaines why I'm feeling so different from the people I know.

    I'm always longing for deep meaningfull relationships but the problem is that all the people around me are more shallow than I am and there is just nobody who realy understands me. And as the years past by I feel that I'm becomming more and more shallow and that I just give up trying to have deep conversations because it always ends in a disappointment. There is nobody to trigger me or challenge me to think deeper or experience more than the everyday live. And I'm getting dulller and duller.

    Is this something you too experience somethimes and what do you do about it?

    Grtz
    Morgan
     
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    #1 Morgain, Aug 20, 2009
  2. HaHa

    HaHa Community Member

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    It's like you're calling me out. What do you want to converse about?
     
    #2 HaHa, Aug 20, 2009
  3. Nausus

    Nausus Community Member

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    We all experience it, and that's why we have this forum. My INTP friend has started to understand me a lot more onky because I was willing to explain my feelings and thoughts in depth. Hopefully we can help you feel less misunderstood.
     
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    #3 Nausus, Aug 20, 2009
  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Never apologize. DIS IZ 'MERICA!!!

    Welcome to the forum!

    (I can do deep conversations!)
     
    #4 Faye, Aug 20, 2009
  5. just me

    just me Protector, Counselor

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    "Shallow" does not mean "empty" yet.
     
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    #5 just me, Aug 20, 2009
  6. The Jester

    The Jester Guest

    Welkom op t forum ;) Ook al ben ik ook nieuw

    Translation: Welcome to the forum, even if I am new too.

    Ooh sorry I thought this was in the Welcoming forum :p
    Well, to be on topic, yes I find some people in my environment shallow, but maybe they're just acting this way because they're too shy to start a meaningful conversation?
    When I'm new in a group, I also can't start to talk about these things, I first need to know if the people in the group would appreciate what I have to say and what their interests are.
     
    #6 The Jester, Aug 20, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2009
  7. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    One of my current problems is the following:

    One of my best friends seems to be the exact opposite of me. (why are we friends than :) ). For a long time now I've been trying to bridging our differences by adapting myself a little to her caracter. She likes to go to the pub to chat for a hole evening with everybody about nothing, I hate it because it is exausting and gives me no satisfaction but I try to do it for her; she is always optimistic and happy (but I think it is just a facade) and I'm rather melancholic and she hates that so I blame myself for being that way and try to be more happy; I like to talk about meaningfull things and she always try to avoid this because it force her to think about herself and here past so I try to avoid this topics. When she is talking shallow she is happy but when I try to go into deeper conversations she becomes sad and defensive and enoid with me for bringing it up. And than I tune into here emotions and get also sad and misunderstood.

    But I never feel that it is good enough so I adapt myself more and more and now I'm at the point that I feel miserable in here company because I can't be myself (due to my own fault). And now I don't know at all how to be in here company and I want to take about it I never find an opening and I don't want to ruine here mood. So I'm being shallow and I hate it... :)

    hi prankster, where do you live in Belgium? I'm from Lier

    i react exact the same when I'm in a new group. You can't start with everybody a good conversation about the mystics of life ;-)
     
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    #7 Morgain, Aug 20, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2009
  8. The Jester

    The Jester Guest

    Hmm, you'll have to ask yourself: 'Do I want to be with this person?'
    Because recently I had a big crush on a friend, and she seemed somewhat the opposite of me. I'm introverted, she's extroverted, ... It's not that we don't have our similarities, because a few days after she turned me down we had a good and deep conversation.
    All that I wanted to say is, opposites can attract eachother :p
    And I'm from Leuven.
     
    #8 The Jester, Aug 20, 2009
  9. smiffy

    smiffy Community Member

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    be warned your about to be bombarded with compatibility theories.............................................any minute now

    Ill get in the first blow in! extravert/intravert works quite well, its more of a case of maybe N vs S?
     
    #9 smiffy, Aug 20, 2009
  10. The Jester

    The Jester Guest

    I don't want to hijack your thread Morgan, but Smiffy, what are the main characteristics of N? How can you see from one's behavior if she's more N or more S?
     
    #10 The Jester, Aug 20, 2009
  11. HaHa

    HaHa Community Member

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    #11 HaHa, Aug 20, 2009
  12. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    I feel this way also, sometimes, and I hate that feeling.
     
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    #12 daydreamer, Aug 21, 2009
  13. IndigoSensor

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    Welcome Aboard! :D

    Hang out here for a while, it will help some.
     
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    #13 IndigoSensor, Aug 21, 2009
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