Balancing Moods | INFJ Forum

Balancing Moods

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Altruistic Muse, Apr 8, 2009.

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  1. Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I've read somewhere that INFJs do this thing where they will balance the mood in a room. So if everyone is feeling low they will try to cheer everyone up, but if everyon is feeling happy they might have a bit of a sobering effect. I recognise this a lot in myself, and can think of many examples of doing this over the years. Can anyone else relate?
     
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  2. Liv

    Liv Community Member

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    Ya,i can relate to this. I think there's probably more to it than just balancing a rooms mood. Generally, if I arrive and there's a negative or pessimistic vibe I'll pick up on it. Usually I care why people are miserable and often my friends look to me to help or ask for an input to shed light on a situation or feeling from another point of view. So I'll be able to give a perceived optimistic solution in the eyes of people who cant look at a situation from different view points, unable to see any positives in their dilemma. I'll also take time to listen to them and sometimes offer a solution or advice which helps them feel better, and the mood lifts.
    Also, I've experienced the 'sobering' affect in group situations. I've noticed I can tune in to one part of a discussion and dwell on it, I'll focus on a point and ponder on it in depth. When someone notices I'm quiet they'll usually assume somethings wrong. Usually, if I explain what I'm thinking about the point is more detailed but still relevant to the conversation leading people to discuss a passing topic in more detail, which, in a fast-paced conversation can end up slowing down the overall frenzied natter going on in a social circumstance, often leading me too feel I've had a 'sobering' effect on the people surrounding me...oops!
     
  3. Nemo

    Nemo Community Member

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    Yes, I can sort of relate to what your saying. I have found that I can change between pessimistic and optimistic depending on who I'm with (although I'm naturally pessimistic). For example, if I'm with a pessimistic person, I become optimistic; and if I'm with a optimistic person, I'm pessimistic.
     
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  4. Dutch Cake

    Dutch Cake Community Member

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    Hmmm....

    I guess I can relate a bit. I think I am described as "motherly" and "cute". So my mum side is the sobering side and the cute side is the happy side. I have never been told I was pessimistic, I have surprised people by my subtle wit and quick comments. Usually that will get a cute and evil comment though. ( I love being cute and evil.)
     
  5. Stephanie

    Stephanie Regular Poster

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    In a sort of "devil's advocate" way? I do that a lot myself. Whenever there is an issue up for discussion, I typically try to prove people wrong whether I agree or not.

    But yes, I typically have a mood opposing that of the room, I'd never realized that about myself before . . . huh.
     
  6. Nemo

    Nemo Community Member

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    It's not so much "devil's advocate" it's more of "adapting to fill the missing role". E.g. if someone is overly-negative I try to be positive; and if people are being overly-positive, I become quite negative.
     
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  7. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    I dont know. Somehow I seem to be more of a chameleon.
    If the mood crazy, I'm crazy. If its dead, I'm dead.
     
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  8. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

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    I find that I can pick up on the tension in a room really easily. And I used to think that was the same for everyone, but I don't think it is.

    I found it physically and emotionally stresses me to be in conflictual situations, even when it has nothing to do with me. This makes it hard to go to family events, or some work places without feeling the effects.

    I don't think I help balance the tension or mood though.
     
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  9. OP
    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    I know what you mean with with actually. I have been at several events where I've started crying (pathetic I know) because the atmosphere is too intense for me, and found out later that there have been underlying arguments or problems that I didn't know about. Weird!
     
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  10. Dutch Cake

    Dutch Cake Community Member

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    I am now balancing my mum and my aunt who have foolishly decided to move in together when they were breaking up with their partners. They are handling it differently and I have to advise them on how to deal with eachother. I find it exhausting. I don't do this for my friends anymore, but my family is different. I did laundry today (jaj! clean clothes!) and I was happy to come home. My mom thinks I am not getting enough sleep because in stressful situations I fall asleep.
     
  11. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

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    In stressful situations you fall asleep?
     
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  12. OP
    Altruistic Muse

    Altruistic Muse Community Member

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    Hehe, you make it sound weird, I do that too. When I was learning to drive it got quite dangerous lol, I was struggling to keep my eyes open.
     
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  13. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I definitely do this. It actually annoys me, to tell the truth. It seems as if I either pick up on all the underlying feelings and can blend in, or the moods are too intense for me and I end up "balancing" with the opposite...
     
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  14. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    one of my friends says i have this quality and that sometimes it makes some people think i have like a double personality.
     
  15. lostintranslation

    lostintranslation Community Member

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    This happens quite often with me; it bothers me if someone is feeling down, and even if it's someone I don't know well, I feel I have to talk to them and find out why. It's this need to know what they are going through.
    As for being the peacekeeper of moods and a 'situation diffuser' between people, well I haven't realized I have been doing that all along.
     
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  16. Tennislad

    Tennislad Newbie

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    i really dislike conflict so i will either make an attempt to diffuse tension or get angry depending on my mood.
     
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