Arranged marriage: Would you ever consider it . . . ?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Guess I'm one of the odd INFJ's out here.
I would consider an arranged marriage.
I would see this as an oppurtunity to really understand what the other person was looking for in their partner, and would be able to judge for myself whether or not I would suit. I could also give the other person an idea of my personal goals (before we tied our lives together) and they could judge whether or not they would be able to support me as I would be expected to support them.
I'd have as many details as possible spelled out in a contract before I took any vows. And should that contract be violated, the relationship would be dissolved as well.
Based on my experience, it would be easier in the long run to know that I'd have my partners support, rather than have it unspoken and assumed only to learn down the road that your partner ends up being the biggest obstacle in the way of achieving your dreams.
I would consider an arranged marriage.
I would see this as an oppurtunity to really understand what the other person was looking for in their partner, and would be able to judge for myself whether or not I would suit. I could also give the other person an idea of my personal goals (before we tied our lives together) and they could judge whether or not they would be able to support me as I would be expected to support them.
I'd have as many details as possible spelled out in a contract before I took any vows. And should that contract be violated, the relationship would be dissolved as well.
Based on my experience, it would be easier in the long run to know that I'd have my partners support, rather than have it unspoken and assumed only to learn down the road that your partner ends up being the biggest obstacle in the way of achieving your dreams.
Yeah I would definitly consider it. If I didnt like her I would just say "No, pick a different one." If I lived in a society where that wasnt a possibility then I dont think it would be that bad. I think love marriage and romance are looked at differently in those cultures and if I had grown up in that I wouldnt have much problem with it.
Based on my current context I would not consider it. I value having a unique connection with a partner, and having a partner who really wants to be with me.
If my life's context was such that an arranged marriage was my best option, then yes I would consider it.
If my life's context was such that an arranged marriage was my best option, then yes I would consider it.
Now if people pushed someone out of the blue and went "THIS IS YOUR FUTURE PARTNER, YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY." Then I'd go and went nuts on him/her. >_>; Even if it's the usual, "just try to hang with him/her, both of you may click with each other," I wouldn't really thrilled; it's already against someone's will and freedom.
I get the compability factor; it's rather plausible to come to love or respect your partner like other, non-arranged partners are but....nah, I prefer finding one myself instead of submitting to someone's "view" of 'us', 'the partner', 'ideal relationship / life / situations', and their belief that may or may not clashed with mine.
Not that that kind of arranged marriage would always work, too. The bad side of that arranged marriage is a divorce would be seen as a mockery towards THE parents, like they have tried so much to find a suitable person for you and LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE >_>;
I get the compability factor; it's rather plausible to come to love or respect your partner like other, non-arranged partners are but....nah, I prefer finding one myself instead of submitting to someone's "view" of 'us', 'the partner', 'ideal relationship / life / situations', and their belief that may or may not clashed with mine.
Not that that kind of arranged marriage would always work, too. The bad side of that arranged marriage is a divorce would be seen as a mockery towards THE parents, like they have tried so much to find a suitable person for you and LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE >_>;
The idea of arranged marriage isn't something we can really understand today. Modern society is so customizable. At the push of a button our whims are made manifest. Of course we would not accept the notion of one of the most important decisions of life being made for us when we can make our own decisions about the most trivial of things down to the most minuscule detail.
But, in a time where choices weren't so common, and everything required effort, whether it be making a meal, clothes, even a hot bath, arranged marriage isn't as bad of an idea as it might seem, and there's a very simple reason for that - the inherent psychology of men and women. Arranged marriage assumes that divorce is not an option. That said, it's like stranding two people on a desert island. The two of them will fall in love eventually, even if they hate each other at first. It's human nature, especially when we're not preoccupied by all the possibilities, better deals, that might be out there.
But, in a time where choices weren't so common, and everything required effort, whether it be making a meal, clothes, even a hot bath, arranged marriage isn't as bad of an idea as it might seem, and there's a very simple reason for that - the inherent psychology of men and women. Arranged marriage assumes that divorce is not an option. That said, it's like stranding two people on a desert island. The two of them will fall in love eventually, even if they hate each other at first. It's human nature, especially when we're not preoccupied by all the possibilities, better deals, that might be out there.
Why not? I adore surprises even if they make my heart beat uncomfortably fast. Is it really so very different than selecting a person based on stuff like Mbti or an internet dating site? Of course I'd like to pick who would be doing the arranging. Maybe a team of experts. With lots of testing. I actually am really warming to this whole arranged marriage idea.
I know this is quite common in other cultures, and I am certain that in some cases it leads to happiness. And it also depends on just how "arranged" it is. Does "arranged" really mean "forced against one's will"? Or does it just mean... something different, where people have a say in the matter and an out if they don't like it? You really do have to be practical in these things, as well as romantic, and it's hard to be objective sometimes, so why is it wrong to have people who love you helping you? When you think about it as a family thing, with loving parents only wanting to be involved in what is likely the most important decision of their offsprings' lives... how could that go wrong? Right?????
Pffbbt. Yeah, in a perfect world, maybe, but families aren't always loving, and people are often motivated by other things besides fairness and treating each other well and finding suitable life partners.
As for me, personally, NO. Ew. Would not consider it under any circumstances I can imagine. Just knowing the guys my mother tried to get me to date as a teenager, I would have to say emphatically no way.
Pffbbt. Yeah, in a perfect world, maybe, but families aren't always loving, and people are often motivated by other things besides fairness and treating each other well and finding suitable life partners.
As for me, personally, NO. Ew. Would not consider it under any circumstances I can imagine. Just knowing the guys my mother tried to get me to date as a teenager, I would have to say emphatically no way.
