Arranged marriage: Would you ever consider it . . . ? | INFJ Forum

Arranged marriage: Would you ever consider it . . . ?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jan 16, 2010.

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  1. Yes, definitely

    6 vote(s)
    16.2%
  2. Maybe

    12 vote(s)
    32.4%
  3. No

    19 vote(s)
    51.4%
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  1. Gaze

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    Arranged marriage: Would you ever consider it . . . ?


    This is a controversial topic. It's not considered modern, and sometimes seen as deriving from oppressive and restrictive practices, and violates civil rights, especially women's rights. The belief is that it gives men more power in the relationship.

    So, from a modern perspective, can arranged marriage be a viable arrangement for today? Why or why not?

    This is not a thread about dislike of the concept of marriage. If you believe in "marriage", would you consider one which is arranged?

    Please keep discussions about hatred or dislike of marriage at a minimum. Please maintain some level of objectivity in the responses instead of playing on stereotypes about the issue.

    Thx.
     
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    #1 Gaze, Jan 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    No. I don't think that marriage will complete my life or give it purpose or meaning.

    If I lived in another time period and culture, I may feel otherwise..
    I'd like to think that I'd probably shave my head, dress up like a guy and run away like that chick from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
     
    #2 acd, Jan 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  3. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Would I get all the 18th century perks like a woman who can clean my house, sing, and be able to play the piano?

    Can arranged marriages work in today's society? Yes, I believe so, as long as checks as balances are kept; like tribes in Africa and some places in the middle east. The only potential problem I can see is "work" and "motherhood" Typically, in arranged marriages that actually work, the mother is expected to be the primary care giver of that child (The father might be the primary disciplinarian, but he is not typically the main figure in a child's constant day to day living)

    Oh, btw, my answer is "OH HELL NO"
     
    #3 Reon, Jan 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  4. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    No. I have very little desire for marriage as it is. It wouldn't make it any better if I had to marry someone I barely knew amd was likely not sexually attracted to. I'll pass.
     
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  5. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    I would most likely want to arrange my own marriage yah
     
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  6. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    I was watching about how in India and such this practice is so common and kind of cultural comparison in how certain countries NO ONE gets married, some countries it's arranged, some countries there is a high divorce rate because people can't 'socially acceptably ' live with each other before marriage.

    N' anyways, I thought it would be a fun experiment to one day marry someone for a year who'd been arranged to marry me and see if we could learn to 'love' each other within that year like people in other countries do.

    I don't really have a real desire for marriage or love or anything like that, though, I just thought it would be fun to culturally try different things and expand my point of view.

    So I voted Yes, Definitely.
     
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  7. sassafras

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    Er, no, I don't think so. If I'm going to be committed and legally bond to a person, I'd like to, you know, be in love with them or something.
     
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  8. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    You're sooo Canadian it isn't even funny.
     
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  9. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    ^ Second that!
     
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  10. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I want a woman I can respect. I think I've found one, but even so, it'll take quite a while.

    People I can respect are very few. Women are only 50% of that few. An arranged marriage wouldn't work for me.
     
  11. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    Very noble of you Shai!:m161:
     
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  12. TheLastMohican

    TheLastMohican Captain Obvious
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    No, I don't think so. Firstly, people are not about to tolerate cultural regression, even for the better. They like their freedom.
    Secondly, it's not like arranged marriages are good. It's fallacious to counter that modern marriages have not been so successful; I don't expect either version to turn out very well on the average. The one advantage of modern marriage is that the parties have only themselves and each other to blame when the relationship tanks.
     
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  13. INTJMom

    INTJMom Community Member

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    Arranged marriages can work in a culture or sub-culture where divorce is not an option and where romantic love and sexual attraction are not up on a pedestal.

    I was thinking about this the other day, and I decided I would never be willing submit to an arranged marriage. Getting the match "just right" is just too hard. Can you imagine having to make love with someone you found physically repulsive? And what if you didn't have any interests in common?
     
  14. Roger

    Roger ...

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    I believe it is good as friendship marriage. Arranged marriage is sometimes gift from paradise. Just it is different, it takes some time after marriage to know each other. Good parents would like to see their children in happy condition. Arrange marriage is like settlement after looking each others quality and matching through parents insight. but this depends on parents. This is ancient culture's thing. This is controversial in some cases.

    Modern thing:
    If the case is difference, girl and boy, loves each other deeply and accepts each other as husband-wife, then i think we should give agreement to them.

    After all marriage is to live with each other, love each other and spend every moment with each other. Beautiful bond ever. :)
     
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  15. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Only if its a paying marriage with good benefits.

    And I can get a divorce at any time.
     
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  16. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Yeah I would consider it. What's the harm in considering it? I think it wouldn't be in my best interest to agree to such a marriage, though. I'm too private of a person to be able to marry someone I barely know. I'd be completely unprepared for it.
     
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  17. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Has there ever been a gay arranged marriage?

    I might do it just because I would historically be one of the first.
     
  18. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    Wouldn't ever consider it.

    If I get married, I'm going to be damn sure that I'm not shacking up with someone I'm not in love with.
     
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  19. Matariki

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    It worked in the past but today, not so much. Morals have changed, society has changed.

    For myself I wouldn't consider it.
     
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  20. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Yep.

    Only if it's objectively logical or/and completely random. Otherwise I subscribe to the will of another human to match me with specific human of their choice. With this thing I would never agree.

    However, I tend to view humanity like a mathematical graph of stable and unstable matches and group configurations. If it is shown by evidence, theory, and model simulation, that my matches would work objectively optimal with certain part of the population; and I'm assigned at random with someone from that part of the population; that would be fine with me. I view this as more responsible than a series of broken hearts. I've read somewhere that ENFPs leave many hearts broken after them, and I never want to allow myself to do that.



    So you are the other moonie. xD I was wondering. There are currently only 2 votes for that option and now I know who made them. Maybe I should have voted 'maybe', on a second thought.
     
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    #20 enfp can be shy, Jan 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
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