Are you constantly soul searching?

[acd]

Every time I think I've found myself, it just turns out to be another layer. Much like an onion, it goes on and on, and it sometimes makes me cry. *Grin.

Aw. I love it... The onion/crying reference and joke....
But actually, I've noticed the same thing for myself.. So many layers..
Sometimes I feel I have achieved finding myself.. The universe unfurls itself before me and everything known is unknown.. but shortly thereafter..the process begins all over again. But it is not the universe. It is the onion of my soul peeling away another layer. Yes haha!

 

[the]

Every time I think I've found myself, it just turns out to be another layer. Much like an onion, it goes on and on, and it sometimes makes me cry. *Grin.

Oh, you're like an ogre!

 

[sleepycloud]

I'm not too fussed, I've always provisionally found myself and the rest is just waiting for the right moment to be realised. All possibilities are contained within you and at least in not knowing, I know patience, curiosity and perseverance.

 

[amanda952]

I'm still trying to find myself & I personally don't think that we actually "find ourselves" until we die, or yet again maybe we never will.

 

[slant]

I'll offer a quote. A dollar to whoever knows where this is from.

How am I not myself? How am I not myself? How...am I not...myself?

Think about it....

 

[JaneRose]

I'll offer a quote. A dollar to whoever knows where this is from.



Think about it....

You got me...however I do know you seem wise beyond your years!
I am constanly searching..searching and searching. Searching for the real me. Who am I? Am I the loud, fun loving person I try to display or am I the negative, depressive sour person that lies beneath all the bravado? Am I the woman I see when I close my eyes or the woman I see when I look in the mirror? I think i'd rather close my eyes. Because I don't like what I see in the mirror. Which spawns more searching...Who am I? Why can't I just be real? Why don't I "fit"?

 

[arbygil]

Lol...it sounds sort of like Hal from 2001:Space Odyssey. If not, then it sounds like something he would've said.

After awhile, I think we have to say we've found enough to conclude one part of our life, and then we're free to search through other parts.

 

[slant]

You got me...however I do know you seem wise beyond your years!
I am constanly searching..searching and searching. Searching for the real me. Who am I? Am I the loud, fun loving person I try to display or am I the negative, depressive sour person that lies beneath all the bravado? Am I the woman I see when I close my eyes or the woman I see when I look in the mirror? I think i'd rather close my eyes. Because I don't like what I see in the mirror. Which spawns more searching...Who am I? Why can't I just be real? Why don't I "fit"?

Well thank you.

It's a difficult question to answer. Impossible for me. I've spent all of this time wrapped up around what other people want, trying to service them, trying to please and being frustrated when I do please but don't find the results. I'm trying to discover what I'm going to be. I'm 15. I need to have some sort of plan. What I have found is that I live by society's rules and they do not apply to me. Why? I have no reasoning behind that. The only way I can be happy is if I make myself happy and mentally control myself. That means accomodating my own needs before anyone elses, and making decisions based on what I think is right and not regarding what anyone else thinks. Anyone.

That's been hard because I naturally have wanted to connect with people and I've wanted to please and be 'good'. But what I'm concluded is the line between good and bad is only defined by the culture you live in and the attitude of the masses'. They may not be what you believe. So regarding that there is no defintion or guideline on how you should act, all of this soul searching is pretty irrelevant. We be what we need to be to survive. We blend in, we stand out. We do what makes us 'happy' which I also believe has no existence but only in our mind. All people are selfish in this way. We only do what makes us happy, or live in regret for the rest of our lives.

I worried about making other upset or being unjust when I decided I'm going to dissapoint and hurt people throughout my life anyway. I might as well do it being the person I want to be, doing it purposely, rather than just conforming and being whatever people want me to be.

I also understand that there are things that are out of our control and power. I like to call it chaos but people call it whatever they want to, It doesn't matter. You can't feel guilt or negativity over things you cant control. Deal with your emotions and move on. Always move on.

Sorry to ramble. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately I suppose...

 

[Naxx]

If by soul searching it is implied that you're always seeking more knowledge about all aspects of life then yes.

Although one can't be sure if he is even truly wise, it's nice to aspire for some kind of true knowlege... or atleast I tell myself.

 

[Beneath the surface]

Searching because you are at peace with yourself

or searching to be at peace with yourself?

This isn't specific to anyone's post, just a thought that crossed my mind

I'd say the latter, but even if I do eventually find myself, I still probably won't be at peace with myself.
It's a continuous maze, I tend to see patterns in my behaviour, but I'm constantly trying to figure out why I react the way I do and what makes me.....'me', I guess, but somehow, I nearly always end up back at the beginning. On the rare occasions I don't, I feel like I've uncovered another layer of my identity. Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Solongo]

Soul Searching Forever

An an INFJ I always seemed to dissect my life into "phases" and "periods". Depending on what is going on in my life I always go through "creative phases", "extroverted phases", "depressed phases", confused phases. But no matter what at the end I always go back to trying to figure out why I did what I did and what I should do next. Thus the soul searching phase seems to last forever and always something new to discover about myself.

Recently I found that certain people that was closest to me was actually very negative and not worthy of sharing myself with. So I started distancing myself from them via intuitive feelings and observed experience.Back few years I used to try to "fit" in and maintain so called friends who really didn't know anything about me. I like to think I did try to ignore my intuition about these people for the sake of having "friends". I had a fear being alone. The curse of the INFJ. It always seems to be all or nothing. Either people understand and accept me or they don't and I can't be bothered with them. However after some soul searching I did learn to accept my intuition as a guide to other people's motives,secrets and intentions. I learned that I would rather be alone in my complexity than to make sad attempts at making others understand who I am at many levels.
I have a great boyfriend now who makes attempts to "get" me. Poor guy

 

[Liv]

always searching always thinking,in fact i dont sleep very much as the thoughts dont allow the time for it!

 

[EloquentBohemian]

I look at searching as dynamic stillness. One is who one is yet, this one is in constant flux from interpreting the constant flow of sensory input, from the accumulation of information which continually alters one's conceptions, among all other facets of being alive.
Whether consciously searching or not, this dynamic stillness remains. I think that the act of searching is the decision one makes to consciously choose directions for the dynamic stillness one is.
One is an combination of being and becoming, a being which is always becoming, which I think is best illustrated by the Taijitu, the Taoist Yin-Yang symbol.

 

[Mila]

....the most striking thing for me is that everytime I think I understand myself a bit better something new comes up and I realize that I probably understand only a very small portion. Over the years I made my peace with that slowly realizing that this might carry some faszinating surprises for me I do not know of yet. Will I ever have THE ANSWER? Probably not and I am happy about that.

 

[Mila]

who am I or who am I going to be?

You got me...however I do know you seem wise beyond your years!
I am constanly searching..searching and searching. Searching for the real me. Who am I? Am I the loud, fun loving person I try to display or am I the negative, depressive sour person that lies beneath all the bravado? Am I the woman I see when I close my eyes or the woman I see when I look in the mirror? I think i'd rather close my eyes. Because I don't like what I see in the mirror. Which spawns more searching...Who am I? Why can't I just be real? Why don't I "fit"?

the question "who am I" seems hard to answer already but the question which is making my mind turning round even mor is "who am I going to be"? Sometimes it seems as if I am a little bit part of everything and nothing at the same time. Torn between the observer and the player and always having the feeling of "being different". Nevertheless, do we "not fit" or is it just that apart from seeing what is (= what is similar in us and others) we see as well what is not (= where we differ)?