Are you able to change your personality? | INFJ Forum

Are you able to change your personality?

T

The Jester

Are you able to change your personality deliberately?
Let's say, if you're an introvert and you want to be extroverted, can you change you personality by acting like an extrovert until it becomes natural after a while?

Just wondering :m083:
 
Yes I think you can! It may take some perseverance, but if you get the response you want from it - it will be worth it. :)
People around you are in for a surprise and you may experience bizzare responses, such as envy, in their inability to cope with this sudden change because they expect 'you' to behave in a certain way. ^^
 
Not necessarily -- I mean, you'll never BE an extrovert, but it can become easy to act and feel like one :) In other words, you'll keep your base INFJ-ness, but it'll be really easy for you to act like an extrovert when you need to be one.

You can do this by strengthening certain functions. Wanna be more like an ENFJ? Work on your Fe :)
 
I think you can change your behavior -- you can make believe you're an extrovert -- but I don't think it ever comes naturally. People do change somewhat with age, too.
 
No - I have tried...I really have tried. But pretending like things dont bother you, after a while it all comes back up like pent up psych vomit. I was with group of very extroverted people, I fit in well with the group at first, until things got catty and stupid. I could no longer pretend that things didnt bother me. Perhaps, though, I am just too introverted. I suppose if you were on the cusp...you know like a 45/55% split it could be possible...but when your 85% introvert like I am...well no matter how you look at it a rock is a rock, and you cant tell the rock it has to be a cloud.
 
Basically, two things give shape to our personalities. Our biology and our environment. You can't do much about the biology aspects of your personality, so some traits simply aren't going to change, but you can change your environment and thus influence how your personality is nurtured. Basically, if you are naturally introverted, and you hang around natural extroverts all the time, then chances are you will develop some extroverted features, but you won't be a true, natural extrovert and you will likely have periods where you will revert back to your introverted ways.
 
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Personality change is definitely possible. People's perspectives change all the time, and have a gradual effect on your character and beliefs.

Trying to change your personality from the bottom up and all at once, however, is a bit more difficult. Who you are is basically a cluster of habits united under a flag of a few, core beliefs. Most people, when they try to change their personality, try to work on each habit one by one. A simple habit, like biting one's nails, is hard enough to change on its own; now imagine trying to eradicate a complex behavioral habit, like introversion, which is locked in and continually reinforced by a number of equally complex habits and patterns of thinking that make up your personality. You're only setting yourself up for a long journey that's going be a test of your patience and perseverence.

For this reason, a drastic, overnight changes in personality is really rare, and usually only possible when something happens to trigger a sudden paradigm shift in a person's core beliefs. If you rock the foundation that you and everything you stand for, is based upon, I guarantee you're going to see some shifts in attitude... for better or for worse.
 
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Yes, you can develop your functions to be more comfortable with them. You're not changing your personality because everyone has all of the personalities within them. Instead, you are becoming more comfortable with different aspects of your personality.
 
Entyqua said:
No - I have tried...I really have tried. But pretending like things dont bother you, after a while it all comes back up like pent up psych vomit.
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I'd like to change that, I care and think too much and I often 'overthink' and analyse simple things.

Satya said:
Basically, two things give shape to our personalities. Our biology and our environment.
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Personally I believe that nurture is the biggest influence for our personality and behavior.
But since I've had these influences from my parents, friends and environment for almost 20 years already, it'd probably be too late to make any drastic change?

I'm asking this because I want to do something about the overthinking and my 'strong feelings'.
I just get hurt so easily by these dumb things which wouldn't affect me if I was a bit more rational.
A few years ago, I did try to change when I was in a new environment, I was actually more social and cared less about what people thought.
However this went away when I felt comfortable in the environment, so my opinion is: you can change, but it's easy to fall back on your original personality.
Just wanted to hear your opinions :p
 
You can develop your other cognitive functions so as to become less intraverted or more "Thinking" or whatever, but however much an introvert for example develops their extraverted functions they will never be a "true" extravert.

To put it another way, some INFJs are more extraverted than others, but all INFJs are intraverts.

Once it's developed your core personality type is fixed and will remain the same throughout your life (not including brain damage and the like as discussed in a different thread).

Entyqua said:
I was with group of very extroverted people, I fit in well with the group at first, until things got catty and stupid. I could no longer pretend that things didnt bother me.
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What does that have to do with personality type?
 
You know, I do believe you can, to a certain extent. In fact I've seen people change this way. But I'm having doubts about this. The question is whether or not you will be happier this way. Personally I find it very difficult to pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't think I could do it. I am who I am, I don't enjoy the stuff extraverts thrive on. I can for instance try and be more social, but in the end it only makes me feel frustrated.

I also think you don't really 'change'. In the end, as you said yourself, you
 
According to mbti theory, you can't. You can become the most extraverted INFJ in the world but you still won't be an ENFJ.

What people forget is that the functions are more like methods than skills.
 
I am easily able to behave as an extrovert for adaptive purposes. In my profession, I have so many personalities to compete with that it would frankly be professional suicide unless I was able to adapt. I can be rowdy, funny, and direct. At the end of the night though, I'm completely exhausted by it all and need to be alone to recharge. I rarely engage in any social activities outside of my proession as well, which sometimes confuses, even offends associates.
 
prankster said:
I'm asking this because I want to do something about the overthinking and my 'strong feelings'.
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Let me know when you figure something out. I've been working on that one for years.
 
Serendipity said:
I am easily able to behave as an extrovert for adaptive purposes. In my profession, I have so many personalities to compete with that it would frankly be professional suicide unless I was able to adapt. I can be rowdy, funny, and direct. At the end of the night though, I'm completely exhausted by it all and need to be alone to recharge. I rarely engage in any social activities outside of my proession as well, which sometimes confuses, even offends associates.
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What do you do?
 
is it possible to change your personality?
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"Sky is the Limit"

Translation: you can do whatever you set your mind into
 
My personality doesn't change. It shifts over times. Change to me means that I am deleting part of myself and adding something totally new to replace it. I.E. being someone totally different. Shifting is more of growing into your inner personality, and growing as a person. I can't change who I am at will either. I can simply open doors to myself, and close others.

I don't think people can change their personalites. Only severe mental illness, or very extreme life circumstances can do this.
 
Satya said:
Let me know when you figure something out. I've been working on that one for years.
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what if you began to impartially observe your thinking while it happens and also your strong feelings?
 
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