I would have done the same with picking out a puppy except can't have a dog around (yet) and my cat was given as a gift after his predecessor passed away... he happens to be the opposite of shy, though and I'm still getting used to his personality. But we had a cat like your puppy (Boomer) who had been traumatized and was fearful of everything - eventually I did get him to become friendly though and he was very happy when I'd show up to hang out and pet him. He was a really good boy, sadly gone now.
Are people shy? What's your philosophy on people who are socially anxious or shy
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I don't believe this anymore. I've changed my mind. Shyness is more fear based and about insecurity to me.
ndint
Depends.
I am classified as a shy, serious, quiet reserved type of gal; but only when I am surrounded by those I am not familiar with, and around a lot of people. I tend to clam up and not say much.
When it comes to family and friends, I am probably one of the most talkative, silliest person out there.
Just depends *shrugs*
I am classified as a shy, serious, quiet reserved type of gal; but only when I am surrounded by those I am not familiar with, and around a lot of people. I tend to clam up and not say much.
When it comes to family and friends, I am probably one of the most talkative, silliest person out there.
Just depends *shrugs*
I'm terribly shy and also suffer from social anxiety. I was bullied all of my school years and it probably started it.. I get anxious what people might think of me, because of insecurity and bullying in the past. It's fear of people like what they might say or how they would react, when telling own thoughts or just basically being myself. I'm very self-conscious of every gesture. "Am I walking funnily?" Or something similarly silly, being highly self-critical. It may lead to making me feel like I've nothing to say. I think others are better than me and there's no point to say anything anyways.
Though, I'm very relaxed and comfortable with the people I know well, like family or some coworkers. I know them so well so there's nothing to be afraid of.
Though, I'm very relaxed and comfortable with the people I know well, like family or some coworkers. I know them so well so there's nothing to be afraid of.
This is kind of like asking what makes introversion tick? There are many facets.
One facet is more related to difficulty relating to others freely/having to take a while to warm up. Just not knowing what to say would be closer to this.
Some facets overlap with neuroticism....like self-consciousness and timidity about people due to feeling threatened.
I think some have only one of these, and others have both. I am guessing I have both but am more the latter. I'm pretty warm and free when I don't feel threatened. If a stranger gives me the vibe of being nonthreatening, probably I'll be free and warm with said stranger.
One thing I'm bad at is adapting to talk about random things, though, like say politics or something I'm not familiar with.
I suspect I'm almost certainly so-last and high in neuroticism, and both contribute.
Not sure if I'm classified as shy or not, but I think I might be a mixture
One facet is more related to difficulty relating to others freely/having to take a while to warm up. Just not knowing what to say would be closer to this.
Some facets overlap with neuroticism....like self-consciousness and timidity about people due to feeling threatened.
I think some have only one of these, and others have both. I am guessing I have both but am more the latter. I'm pretty warm and free when I don't feel threatened. If a stranger gives me the vibe of being nonthreatening, probably I'll be free and warm with said stranger.
One thing I'm bad at is adapting to talk about random things, though, like say politics or something I'm not familiar with.
I suspect I'm almost certainly so-last and high in neuroticism, and both contribute.
Not sure if I'm classified as shy or not, but I think I might be a mixture
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I think that I would have more of the latter, as well. Probably little of the former, actually.
But I'm pretty self-conscious.
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100% of people who meet me one on one don't consider me shy. 100% of people who meet me at a party think I'm the shyest person on the planet.
I wouldn't describe what I experience as anxiety. I generally disregard whatever people think of me initially because whatever their thoughts, they're probably wrong. So while not anxiety specifically, it's sometimes a feeling of being overwhelmed a little due to my mind trying to work out the best actions in order to make everything gel well. But mostly it's just agonizing boredom from all the small talk.
I wouldn't describe what I experience as anxiety. I generally disregard whatever people think of me initially because whatever their thoughts, they're probably wrong. So while not anxiety specifically, it's sometimes a feeling of being overwhelmed a little due to my mind trying to work out the best actions in order to make everything gel well. But mostly it's just agonizing boredom from all the small talk.
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And as far as others who are shy or socially anxious, I always find that I really enjoy those people once I get to know them, and they feel easier to get to know in some ways. It's nice having different kinds of journeys in order to discover people's depth. I'd rather we have them than try to "fix" them. I feel this way about most people, generally.
Your level of certainty that people one to one wouldn't consider you shy is quite interesting.
What would be the signs convincing people you aren't shy? Chattiness, openness, being relaxed?
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Well I was partly making a joke. Probably if I run into somebody while tired or grumpy for whatever reason, they may think differently.
But overall I'm a very positive person, and I love to engage in conversation one on one and learn about people.
I'm not intimidated very often, and if I get that feeling I just sort of make shit awkward for the other person, because it's nothing I'm doing, generally.
I am pretty open and chill most of the time.
You sound cool. We should go on that bro date and talk about deep things and then head to a party and be super shy and awkward together and make people awkward in turn.
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You sound cool. We should go on that bro date and talk about deep things and then head to a party and be super shy and awkward together and make people awkward in turn.
Sounds dangerous. I'm down for it
Sounds dangerous. I'm down for it
Yes! *high fives Wyote*
We'll secretly put this on at the party:
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Oh, did Ni happen? I didn't realize. Cool! :thumbsup:
I'm told that I'm shy and I kind of see the point.. but, I don't feel fear nor wonder what I should say - small talk can make me lkfnsjknfklesfmksm
My friends have told me that initially upon meeting me they felt as I'm very reserved or shy, have grounding and accepting energy (whatever that means) but, also that they are under a microscope lol.
To me, it's more about getting the vibe for someone/group of people before I engage. Generally, I, strongly dislike when I feel I need to be invasive but then at the same time I'm not a fan of small talk. I'm curious about people! I love silly and having a innocent banter but, then it could be really weird if you met some chick and the first thing she does is say or do something silly - some will find that seriously weird or uncomfortable lol so, you gotta ease people into that level of quirk and go with the flow.
But then, I can be shy when it comes to personal things.. like, I don't know why 'you' want to know that... I'm just paranoid huehuehue.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that shy people are often trying to figure you out or get the feel for you.
My friends have told me that initially upon meeting me they felt as I'm very reserved or shy, have grounding and accepting energy (whatever that means) but, also that they are under a microscope lol.
To me, it's more about getting the vibe for someone/group of people before I engage. Generally, I, strongly dislike when I feel I need to be invasive but then at the same time I'm not a fan of small talk. I'm curious about people! I love silly and having a innocent banter but, then it could be really weird if you met some chick and the first thing she does is say or do something silly - some will find that seriously weird or uncomfortable lol so, you gotta ease people into that level of quirk
and go with the flow.But then, I can be shy when it comes to personal things.. like, I don't know why 'you' want to know that... I'm just paranoid huehuehue.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that shy people are often trying to figure you out or get the feel for you.
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D
Deleted member 16771
You know I don't believe that shyness is real for a great majority of our experiences of 'it'. I think it's more like 'incompatibility' with how individuals prefer to interact.
So for me, no I'm not shy, but I will just switch off, zone out, and have nothing to contribute if it's all small talk. There's nothing interesting to grab onto.
So people might notice and say, 'are you alright, Deleted member 16771? You were the life of the party earlier. What's wrong?'
And I'm just, 'well that was before you started talking about the best deals on car insurance FOR TWENTY DAMN MINUTES'
Seriously, go out with like minded people and see what happens to your shyness then.
But stay around people who you know don't get your humour and aren't interested in your perspective, and see how quickly you switch off.
So for me, no I'm not shy, but I will just switch off, zone out, and have nothing to contribute if it's all small talk. There's nothing interesting to grab onto.
So people might notice and say, 'are you alright, Deleted member 16771? You were the life of the party earlier. What's wrong?'
And I'm just, 'well that was before you started talking about the best deals on car insurance FOR TWENTY DAMN MINUTES'
Seriously, go out with like minded people and see what happens to your shyness then.
But stay around people who you know don't get your humour and aren't interested in your perspective, and see how quickly you switch off.