Any of you with INFPs? | INFJ Forum

Any of you with INFPs?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by TK*, Nov 16, 2008.

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  1. TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    INFP boyfriends in particular?

    It seems INFJ females are either into the two extremes... blatant NT-ness (INTJs are hard-core NTs, for example) or mushy gushy NF-ness (ENFJs and INFPs are hard-core NFs)

    Thoughts?
     
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  2. OP
    TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    Nobody?!
     
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  3. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Not anymore? But that was only a few weeks anyway.
     
  4. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
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    ... i had an INFP once... but i had to give it up for adoption... that cat was crazy...
     
  5. tereza

    tereza Regular Poster

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    Hmm...well I don't know if I've ever come across any male INFPs for sure. So I can't say much about them. But I have some experience with NF mushy guys. I know a male ENFJ (made him take the test) and he's a whole lot of fun. Together, we're almost like two peas in a pod. Conversation is always flowing, jokes are understood and I find myself having to stop explaining myself because he follows my train of thought pretty well. But for some reason I don't feel like we're "right" for each other.

    Attraction is there, but something seems um...missing? He comes across as a real happy go lucky type of guy, but there's like this tortured emotional side that kind of scares the crap out of me. Like I'll never be able to satisfy what he needs emotionally from a girlfriend.

    While my INTJ friend...it's like. Oh easy. He just needs a little bit of this and a little bit of that... But then the differences could be a maturity or insecurity thing. The INTJ has his act together, ENFJ...well he's floundering about, just like I am.
     
  6. ulan_bat0r

    ulan_bat0r Regular Poster

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    i am one...

    :m066:
     
  7. happiholic

    happiholic Regular Poster

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    Yes! I'm currently with an INFP. It's only been a month since we confessed our feelings to each other. I already had strong feelings for him before that happened. He liked me for months as well.

    He's so reserved about his emotions. He rarely says about what he feels about me. I know that when he says something, he really means it. I'm the one that often shows my great love to him. We haven't said "I love you" yet because I think it's not the right time but that is how I really feel about him. I'm not sure about him but there's a possibility he loves me, disguising that by saying "I really really really really really like you." I can tell he really cares about me. He always asks me "Are you ok?" for like every 5 seconds (Ok, this is exaggerated but I'm trying to make a point). He also apologies for everything, even to situations when sorry does not need to be said.

    We're slowly opening to each other. It's like a flower, slowly and patiently, blooming into its beautiful state. Currently, we have finally made progress on physical affection. We hug a lot and for the longest. We hold hands. We've touch here and there (Please don't think perverted.) I really feel lucky to have met him. I really do think he's my soulmate. I take it as an insult when others call it puppy love. They really have no idea.

    Yup. I love INTJs as well. But then, I love my INFP love more.
     
  8. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Does anyone find the INTJ cold? Or too little feeling oriented? Especially having the J, along with the T?

    I'm not aware of any INTJs close to me, so I don't know. Just wondering..
     
  9. OP
    TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    I HATE INTJs. I cannot even begin to express my extreme dislike for INTJs. Every INTJ I've ever met has ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way. I like INTJs as long as they're ONLINE and I DON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM IN PERSON! I like their arrogance and coldness but that is also the SAME thing I can't stand about them! INTJs have the emotional-awareness of a goldfish, and for me, I just don't have the patience to deal with it. However, on a INTP, that emotional cluelessness is endearing, lol.

    I find INTJ females much more tolerable, perhaps even cool, but gawd, you INTJ males can all jump off a cliff for all I care! Either that, or STAY OUT OF MY WAY!

    /rant
     
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  10. Motor Jax

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    i had a real good INTJ buddy... we talked about everything and of course, joked around a lot also...




    heh, i've never had a problem with INTJs... probably 'cause i'm a guy and i've never tried to date a female INTJ...
     
  11. ohmermaid

    ohmermaid Community Member

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    awww, thanks for sharing that!

    i'm the same as you, my infp had feelings for over half a year before he really opened up and told me. i had absolutely no idea, i pinned it down to him just being a flirt because he was so good-looking. i was shocked when he told me, when i realized he had remembered things i'd forgotten, when i realized he had sketched pictures of me long ago and things like that. it's been a journey for me, one that's spanned the past, seeing it from a perspective i'd never even dreamed of.

    he's only reserved about his negative emotions. he freely expresses how he feels about me, but when he's feeling jealous or upset, he'll try to hide it. i'd say we showed equal amount of expression towards each other. because we've been together for quite some time, we've already said 'i love you', and the first time i said it to him, i really felt it was a big deal - but then the impossible (or so i thought) happened - it was like i fell in love more every day, while thinking that i couldn't fall further, haha.

    with apologies, we'd probably be hilarious to watch. we'll both withhold apologies due to pride, for as long as we are able... then one of us breaks and it's like a dam collapsing - we fall all over each other saying sorry. he's not afraid to sit down and discuss and sort things out, he's not afraid of emotions when he knows it's necessary to keep our relationship together. it's sometimes creepy, the way he can read my emotions when i don't do anything and try my hardest to hide them. we have this strange connection that i could never do justice to if i try to describe it, but it manifests through circumstances that we can't control at times.

    our relationship is very passionate and intense - but at the same time, i've never felt so peaceful. i feel safe, secure, and i'm not afraid of anything at all. it's electrifying to be with him, but it's the most familiar thing in the world.
     
    #11 ohmermaid, Nov 20, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
  12. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

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    I was with an INFP female for almost 4 years. We're still very important to each other, borderline romantic. We're not "together" though, for a variety of reasons that are all mostly my fault.
     
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  13. OP
    TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    My INFP boyfriend and I were a lot like some of you ladies here. He was in love with me MUCH longer than he cares to tell me. For whatever reason, he get bashful about those things. I had NO idea he had feelings for me until I confessed my feelings to him! He's so reserved! I was really expecting him to say, "Sorry, little girl, I'm much too old for you. You'll find someone when you're older, run along and play."

    We met online, at INFPgc in the INFPgc chatroom. Romantic love story, yes? I have to thank these MBTI forums for bringing us together. We carried a nice 9 month online/long-distance relationship before moving in together. I first joined that forum when I was 17...I think...So I've known him for over 2yrs.

    It's really funny, because we met online on these MBTI forums, I have to find other forums to "get away" so I can write stuff about him! Heh heh heh! He doesn't know I post here...I don't think...so any of you INFPgc folks reading, don't spill the beans!

    I'll come and find you. :m194:
     
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  14. ohmermaid

    ohmermaid Community Member

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    i promise!!! :m105:
     
  15. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    Most of my friend are INTJ. They can be a little cold, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them out of touch. They understand their feelings, they just try not to make decisions based on them. Besides, I find the coldness refreshing. I go to a high school where everyone makes SOOOOOO much drama out of the smallest and least significant things (because nothing significant ever happens :m038:).
     
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  16. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

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    I just took two separate tests and found that my Judging score is very low on one, and was actually an INFP on the other one. So... I might kinda sorta count as a male INFP.
     
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  17. OP
    TK*

    TK* Community Member

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    Male INFPs are hawt. Count yourself as one!
    :m015:
     
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  18. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

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    :m171:
     
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  19. Hotherym

    Hotherym Community Member

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    Yeah. I'm in a currently shaky relationship with an INFP quite a bit younger than me. At least I think he's an INFP. He's always tested INFP, but he could be a messed up (hahah, sorry INFPs) INFJ, or INTP.

    Unfortunately, he has big issues that likely don't relate to his being INFP, but I don't think those super-sensitive cognitive processes of his help him out any. He's overly dependent, especially emotionally, to the point where it scares me about his future, and he has major intimacy issues. Even though we've been through thick and thin over the last couple years, and have been talking even longer, he doesn't know whether or not he loves me.

    Besides the dependency, though, is his way of painting everything with a false brush of pretty. I know it says INFPs are known for that, but it's to the point where reality becomes lost to both of us, since I want to trust and believe what he says about things, and then, you know, my being INFJ, I realize it's just a front, or something else.

    He's quietly manipulative. It drives me literally batsh*t, all of it. So, needless to say, even though I love him dearly and he's definitely good looking, as you're all saying, it's becoming more and more likely to end.

    Very frustrating. Oh god, sorry for the vent. I never get to talk about it anywhere. ;(
     
  20. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

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    No worries. One question though... what's an INFU? *points at your listed type*
     
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