[INFJ] - An INFJ on making friends..help!! | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] An INFJ on making friends..help!!

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by alpha, May 28, 2015.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by alpha
  1. alpha

    alpha Four

    Joined:
    May 28, 2015
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I love to have meaningful friendships and connect with people on a deeper level, but its hard to find a kindred soul. Most people seem to be happy with not-so-deep connections. This mostly left me feeling lonely and misunderstood. Finding friends who could be authentic and supportive seemed like such a hard task, I thought it was just me , but I guess I am just an INFJ!
    Which personality types do INFJs befriend and feel the most comfortable with? Fellow INFJs or any others?
     
  2. PintoBean

    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    May 18, 2015
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,758
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,255
    Trophy Points:
    991
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    I feel comfortable around ENFJs myself. They bring me out, but are understanding of my introversion as well. And they are not put off by my intensity. It's a good balance for me.
     
  3. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    Being yourself will attract the people you need in your life and repel the people you don't need in your life.
    For now, be a friend to yourself.
    Be kind to yourself.
    Be patient with yourself.
    Be honest with yourself.
    Have fun by yourself, because when you enjoy yourself, no one can take away contentment!
     
  4. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Threads:
    40
    Messages:
    1,614
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    722
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ-A
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    I wish the world was so kind as these words of yours. ^^
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    Yes, but only you can determine what happens in your own world.
     
  6. bodhireagan

    bodhireagan Community Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2014
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    150
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    To echo [MENTION=6623]INFJok[/MENTION],

    You are not going to have an excess of good friends whom you can make deep connections with. Instead you will develop a few, very like-minded friends over the course of your life. Everyone else will be an acquaintance or short-lived "friend" who suddenly loses interest in you (not meaning sexual interest) when they realize that you are an intense human being with an overwhelming understanding of the world and people.

    To translate: you will have a few "will take a bullet for you/always be there if you need something/3am phone calls" friends who make your life amazing instead of 10, 20, 30 or hundreds of acquaintances who use you for your emotional depth and don't have any desire to connect with you and make your life miserable.

    Friends are ALWAYS about quality > quantity
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,054
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,899
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
    remember, as the contemporary popular culture wisdom goes, that its better to have no relationship than to have a relationshit! good friends are hard to find, its better not to try and speed up the process, or you end up with people sticking resolutely to your life that you bonded with too much too soon.
     
  8. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6

    Yeah I don't know how people can have a slew of "friends" around them at all times.
    Who could you trust?
    It's kind of....scary..to me at least!
     
  9. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    Relationshit. good one!
     
    invisible likes this.
  10. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Threads:
    40
    Messages:
    1,614
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    722
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ-A
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    I could agree with the term "Life is what you make it".

    However, If only I can determine what happens in "my own world", then I would be a space fairing multi-billionaire with a ton of friends peace and heaven on earth and.... I take it you understand my point ;p
    You have no more control over who becomes your friend than you do over the weather. That is because a very large percentage of people has no interest in befriending anyone unless it gains them something or they can use you/your skills for something. Then there is a very small percentage that is interested in befriending others that keep a limit on the amount of friends they have or simply are not interested in befriending you.

    You cannot expect to be able to determine what happens in "your own world" because you don't own or control the world.


    I think I mentioned it somewhere before, but I really really really struggle at making/finding/developing a friendship in person and generally I am invisible to the point where I feel like I must be the natural opposite of a charismatic person. But by all means if you got a life hack for me, let me know.


    As for the OP. I wouldn't know, I don't ask everyone who tolerates my presence to take the MBTI test.
    That said I find the most common ground with other introverts, and believe it or not from the rest of this post, I am usually the more positive and optimistic one :p
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6

    Ok, well you can only control what you can control, the rest let it go!
    Also, sometimes in life we get what we need instead of what we want.

    I remember whenever I made friends I would get completely lost in them and in return lose my identity. I began thinking like them and picking up their bad habits!
    I became them and lost me!

    Now I don't know if it's an INFJ thing but whatever it is, it's completely wrong to morph into somebody else!

    Maybe we're meant to be lonely at this time of our lives so that we can find who we are?
     
  12. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Threads:
    40
    Messages:
    1,614
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    722
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ-A
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    I know who I am and who I am working towards becoming.
    Being meant to be lonely... if that is the case, then someone must really hate me x)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    Or maybe you are being kept from morphing into somebody else!
     
  14. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Threads:
    40
    Messages:
    1,614
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    722
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ-A
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    I don't assimilate other peoples personalities or morph into them though :X
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. Zen Lizard

    Zen Lizard Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2015
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ISFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 9w1, 5w4
    I see the phrase "determining what happens in my own world" to mean how I view any situation. We all ultimately determine what our thoughts are going to be about anything we perceive. A situation isn't necessarily innately "good" or "bad" but our thinking will make it so. Do I really want to work so hard to draw someone to me that simply isn't interested? Is it really a loss for me when they move on, or an opportunity to spend my social energies on someone else? Do I lament my lack of connections or remain open to seeking and finding those connections, and chalking up the failed friendships to life's lessons I needed to learn? Not to say they aren't painful lessons, many times, but there are things to learn from every relationship.
     
  16. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6

    Those are some very insightful questions! I guess we'll just have to live life and let fate do its thing!
    Whatever's meant to be will somehow make its way to us!
     
  17. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Threads:
    22
    Messages:
    258
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6
    Well then I need to take some notes on how not to! Teach me! Lol!
     
  18. Zen Lizard

    Zen Lizard Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2015
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ISFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 9w1, 5w4
    I don't see it as assimilation, more like a chameleon taking on some of a person's mannerisms in an attempt to make them feel at ease. I also think of it as "matching their energy". I think it's aux Fe at work creating harmony and a sense of connection.
     
  19. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
    Banned

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    251
    Messages:
    16,553
    Featured Threads:
    31
    Likes Received:
    10,262
    Trophy Points:
    2,187
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    I honestly believe the key to this is to not care if you make friends or not. But....to be around people I environments that you either like or wish to explore. Then just be yourself.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  20. OP
    alpha

    alpha Four

    Joined:
    May 28, 2015
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    Guess you have a point there. But it gets lonely sometimes.
     
Loading...

Share This Page