There are many smart and talented individuals on this board, and quite a few have talked about personal difficulties in achieving their goals. So,
Another winning topic! I would very much like to know this about my fellow members, infj's and otherwise.
1) What are the most common internal and external obstacles to fulfilling your potential, achieving your goals, and self-actualizing?
Crippled self-confidence that is very often the result of ruminating on the past. The would've, should've, could've's haunt my every step, even when I'm trying to focus on something that will help me fix the problem. That negative little voice pops into my head:
"Why didn't you do this earlier, jackass?" or
"If you only did this and this, you wouldn't even be in this situation!"
Fear of failure and perfectionism are definitely my two greatest hang ups that often lead to procrastination. But all these three obstacles are all the direct result of negative thinking. If I could just shut my brain off, and do what needs to be done without over-analyzing or beating myself up for past mistakes, I'd probably get a lot more done and be a lot less stressed.
2) What is your plan of action for overcoming these obstacles?
I'm gradually getting better at telling that little negative voice to shut the hell up. It helps when I'm able to catch it in the act and imagine it as an entity that is separate from myself; I can easily turn it into a
me versus
negative voice sort of thing and venture to do things it's telling me I can't do, just to prove it wrong. It also makes it easier to tell myself that I don't have to listen to it, because
I'm still in charge and I have a choice with what I can do with the information being filtered back to me.
The issue is, of course, being aware when this is happening. Sometimes that negative voice is sneaky and it's not a voice at all. It manifests itself as physical symptoms of anxiety or just creeps up on me when I'm distracted or already feeling bad about something.
As for procrastinating, well, I already write down everything into my daily planner. If I'm feeling particularly industrious, however, I'll split the page down the middle. On one side, I write out what I want to do at what time and on the other side, I write out what I actually did. It's pretty sobering. Wasting time usually cures perfectionism very quickly.
I just have to be sure that I'm not going to beat myself up for having a "bad day."
3) If and when you overcame these obstacles, what strategies did you use, and why were they successful or effective?
See above discussion. For me, mindfulness is key. At the end of the day, the only person I have to answer to is myself. I make the mistakes, I own the consequences and realize that it's just another day torn off the calendar and that there's always tomorrow. However, have I move forward? Or am I moving backward? How badly do I want to achieve X ? Usually, taking an inventory like this keeps me in line.
Ruminating on the past or imagining the worst case scenario for the future detract from me living in the present moment. If I can take my battle with my personal demons and throw it out into the here and now with practical action, I consider that a successful day.
4) What is the best way mentally, physically, and psychologically for someone to prepare to achieve their goals?
First of all, physically? Run, run,
run like the wind. Get your body moving every day. First week or two are hell, but vigorous exercise keeps the depressive demons at bay. And if you're like me and you're prone to have a mood flop every once in a while, this is the best way to completely minimize the damage. I cannot tell anyone enough how AMAZING you feel.
And yeah, cut out the crappy food. I'm terrible about this, though. I'd probably feel a lot better if I kept my sugar and sodium levels down to a more humane amount. (It just pisses me off how careful you have to be because almost
everything has that crap in it)
Healthy body, healthy mind. 100%
Psychologically? I don't know, really. Just keep your mind on whatever it is you want to achieve and psyche yourself out about reaching it. You gotta
really want it and it has to be your own goal. If you're doing it because it's going to please someone else, chances are, you're probably going to face a looong road cobbled by self-sabotage and troubled starts.
*Keep in mind that what may work for one person may not work for another.
I'm only speaking from my own experiences, of course.
Remember that in order to fulfill your potential, you have to see to first.
Yep. That's why my negative thinking is probably my single, biggest deterrent.