NATION WITH CRUMBLING BRIDGES AND ROADS
EXCITED TO BUILD GIANT WALL
(^^^see that, I made the font gold, like everything Trump touches)
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As America’s bridges, roads, and other infrastructure dangerously deteriorate from decades of neglect, there is a mounting sense of urgency that it is time to build a giant wall.
Across the U.S., whose rail system is a rickety antique plagued by deadly accidents, Americans are increasingly recognizing that building a wall with Mexico, and possibly another one with Canada, should be the country’s top priority.
Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a Washington-based think tank called the Center for Responsible Immigration, believes that most Americans favor the building of border walls over extravagant pet projects like structurally sound freeway overpasses.
“The estimated cost of a border wall with Mexico is five billion dollars,” he said.
“We could easily blow the same amount of money on infrastructure repairs and have nothing to show for it but functioning highways.”
Congress has dragged its feet on infrastructure spending in recent years, but Dorrinson senses growing support in Washington for building a giant border wall. “Even if for some reason we don’t get the Mexicans to pay for it, five billion is a steal,” he said.
While some think that America’s declining infrastructure is a national-security threat, Dorrinson strongly disagrees.
“If immigrants somehow get over the wall, the condition of our bridges and roads will keep them from getting very far,” he said.
Check your facts, Skare!
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"On Thursday, Senate leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky, said Congress will follow through on Trump's border wall order, and McConnell estimated it will cost $15 billion at most — he cited a range of $12 billion to $15 billion."
http://www.cnbc.com/2015/10/09/this-is-what-trumps-border-wall-could-cost-us.html
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"During his campaign, Trump promised he'd get Mexico to foot the bill, saying in
April of last year that the United States' neighbor to the south could make a "one-time payment of $5-10 billion to ensure that $24 billion continues to flow into their country year after year.""
"But last July, research group
Bernstein estimated a different figure, and it's a lot more than the President predicted. Minus labor and land acquisition costs, analysts there found that the materials needed to build a 40-foot-tall, 7-foot-deep, 10-inch-thick, and 1,000-mile-long wall between the U.S. and Mexico would cost $15 billion."
[...]
"Add in labor and land acquisition, and the cost of the wall could reach $25 billion, according to Bernstein. And depending on its height, costs for concrete and cement could reach $1 billion and $330 million, respectively. Flooding and rough terrain could also raise the price tag."
http://fortune.com/2017/01/25/donald-trump-mexico-wall-cost/
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However, the Swedish company IKEA could reduce the cost to $10 billion.
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Swedish Humor: Building An 'Affordable' Border Wall
by
Tyler Durden
Feb 7, 2017 4:15 AM
“Too expensive!” “Too complicated!” “Unrealistic!” – This is the sort of criticism US President Donald Trump is currently facing over plans to build a wall along the border with Mexico.
But, as
The Postillon blog hilariously explains, an offer from home furnishings brand, IKEA, could solve all of these problems with a single blow.
The Scandinavian furniture maker has offered the USA a practical, ready-made solution with “Börder Wåll”.
All they need to do is pick it up in a van from the nearest IKEA branch and put it up where they want it to go.
Totalling US $9,999,999,999.99, “Börder Wåll” is significantly cheaper than a conventional wall. Estimates suggest that a conventional wall would cost between US $15 and $25 billion.
According to government press secretary, Sean Spicer, President Trump is currently inspecting the offer:
The simple, Scandinavian designed border wall (with a 5 year guarantee) is
primarily made of pressboard with a birch effect and can be assembled with the help of a hex key. A 12,000 page instruction manual with easy-to-understand pictures makes construction child’s play – as long as there is not a single screw missing.
“However, assembly requires two people: one person can hold the wall while the second screws it together”, it states in IKEA’s offer.
The basic model of the wall is
33ft (10 m) tall and 1,954 miles (3,144 km) long, although the height and length can be extended as desired.
IKEA has already announced that it will design other products in the next few weeks that will be compatible with “Börder Wåll”.
According to inside sources, this includes products such as the “Gåwk” watchtower and the “Råtåtåtåtåtå” spring-gun.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-02-05/swedish-humor-building-affordable-border-wall
